Generosity: the Antidote to Consumerism

Anti-consumerism. It's the new(ish) theme of Christmas. Black Friday kicks off the fabulous sales AND the annual ranting against materialism and greed. I've said it; you've probably said it: We've all got so much STUFF. That's all Christmas is about anymore: more STUFF. All these trappings... Can't we just go back to being simple? I mean, how many more Legos do the kids possibly need? And all I'm going to get at the gift exchange is another something I don't want--another re-gift for next year. Plus, this pressure to think of something for all 20 people on my list is going to cause me a panic attack!

It's true: there's a lot of time and money spent in December on buying STUFF. And there are plenty of things bought that are of little use. There's a lot of waste out there. And a lot of greed.

But sometimes we use anti-consumerism as an excuse to be stingy. We fight selfishness by being selfish. No one needs extravagant gifts this year because Christmas isn't about gifts... Or really because I don't want to invest the time and money in giving generously. Or because I'm too disillusioned with stuff to be really thankful for God's unfathomable generosity toward me, and therefore have no good reason to let that overflow to others.

Postscript

I started my study of Ecclesiastes with little knowledge of the riches that lie within this short book, and ended it with so many things to think about that I really could have written at least twice as many posts as I actually did. Once I got to know him, the awkward cousin actually turned out to be a really great guy! Of course, that should be no surprise, because God does not put superfluous words in his book (Isaiah 55:10,11)

If any of the posts in this series have spurred you to thought, or have resonated with you, or for that matter, if you haven't read any of them and think the Bible is a book that has nothing to say to you, I'd encourage you to read this little book of Ecclesiastes and meditate on the truths in it. I personally started off with the idea that it is an incredibly pessimistic look at life, and came away with more reasons for joy and a greater love for God's Holy Word than I've had in quite a while.

In fact, it strikes me as somewhat sad that it's taken me more than 30 years to really listen to this piece of the Bible. As I said in my intro, there are many things in this book that are a little tricky to understand at first glance, so I suppose it's kind of understandable that it's not the first book preachers choose to preach through, not the book chosen for a small group Bible study, not the natural option for some easy, uplifting personal study. But, like the rest of Scripture, it IS a book with infinite value, and over the course of the month or so that I spent in it (along with an extra several weeks of thinking and writing), it has quickly become one of my favourite books. So why not consider it for a sermon series or a Bible study? Why not read it through in one sitting, a few days in a row (it's pretty short)?

And then, once you've marinated in Ecclesiastes for a little while, consider reading Death By Livingby N.D. Wilson, a book that seems to be largely inspired by Ecclesiastes. I highly, highly recommend this book on living in light of death. You'll laugh; you'll cry; you'll be encouraged to savour the moments of your toil, and die having given your all.

The End of the Matter (Meditations on Ecclesiastes)

Ecclesiastes shows us a world that is marred by sin, condemned to futility, full of oppression and evil. Even though there are joys in life, sometimes it seems that we have been forgotten, that God has abandoned this world and left us to fend for ourselves. In the midst of such circumstances, all of us are on a search for meaning in life, a way to reconcile the fact of our existence in time and space with the apparent chaos and coincidence and futility of so much of what goes on under the sun.

We have seen that ambition and good deeds do not secure us an eternal remembrance, that the ultimate outcome of the universe is out of our control, that some of our questions will not be answered on this side of eternity. So what is one to do? Is there any point to a search for meaning? Or does each individual find their own way to make meaning for themself, something just quenching enough to that thirst for eternal life?

Some will go on searching endlessly. They will go on making books and books of speculation on the matter. They will study and search, always learning but never able to arrive at a knowledge of the truth (Eccl. 12:12, 2 Tim. 3:7), because in truth, they love the study and speculation too much to ever accept a final answer.

But for those who are willing to listen, who want the truth no matter what implications it has for them, the author of Ecclesiastes offers The Answer. After all of his weighing of the futilities of life and the joys of life, after all of his study and asking and thinking, he comes down to "the end of the matter", and it is this: "Fear God and keep his commandments. For this is the whole of man. For God will bring every deed into judgement, with every secret thing, whether good or evil."

The Balance of Wisdom (Meditations on Ecclesiastes)

"There is nothing better for a person than that he should eat and drink and find enjoyment in his toil... Sorrow is better than laughter, for by sadness of face the heart is made glad. The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning, but the heart of fools is in the house of mirth."

Huh? How can both of these statements be true? Actually, Ecclesiastes is full of these contrasts. In fact, reading Ecclesiastes is a bit like being on a teeter totter. So much futility; be hopeful! Mourn and weep; be joyful! Work hard; rest is important. Consider your options carefully; trust God and take the risk. Seeking knowledge is vanity; get wisdom.

The fact is, though, that the whole of life is like a teeter totter:
"For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:
a time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
a time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
a time to seek, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
a time to tear, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
a time for love, and a time for hate;
a time for war, and a time for peace." (Eccl. 3:1-8)

Ecclesiastes, with all of its back-and-forth, give-and-take wisdom teaches us that those who want to live wisely will learn what is the proper time and the just way for everything: when to weep and when to sing, when to investigate every angle of a problem and when to take a leap of faith, when to bring on the feasting and when to live as simply as possible.

Casting Widely (Meditations on Ecclesiastes)

"Cast your bread upon the waters,
for you will find it after many days.
Give a portion to seven, or even to eight,
for you know not what disaster may happen on earth.
If the clouds are full of rain,
they empty themselves on the earth,
and if a tree falls to the south or to the north,
in the place where the tree falls, there it will lie.
He who observes the wind will not sow,
and he who regards the clouds will not reap.

As you do not know the way the spirit comes to the bones in the womb of a woman with child, so you do not know the work of God who makes everything. In the morning sow your seed, and at evening withhold not your hand, for you do not know which will prosper, this or that, or whether both alike will be good." (Ecclesiastes 11:1-6)

Are you ever paralyzed by the uncertainties of life? Do you ever wait too long to act because you aren't able to determine an outcome with absolute certainty? Are you afraid to take risks?

If you are the kind of person who has to have all their ducks in a row before they will swim away from shore (I'll be the first to admit to this sort of tendency!), then the author of Ecclesiastes has a message for you (and me): WE DO NOT IN CONTROL THE OUTCOME! Argh... frustrating, I know! But true, nonetheless. All outcomes of all things ever done are ultimately in God's hands, and, as we've already seen, he doesn't generally tell us what is going to happen in advance. Rather, he invites us to trust him, and leave the end up to him. We are to live responsibly, in so far as we CAN see (there are other passages in the book that speak of careful action), but there is a point at which we may fall into the trap Ecclesiastes speaks of here, and spend all our days trying desperately to determine which way the wind is going to blow and whether the clouds are coming, and therefore DOING nothing. And if we sow nothing, there will be nothing to reap. We are called to be a people who live by faith in God's sovereign care, and with such a firm hand holding us up, to accept some amount of risk. After all, we don't know what disaster may occur (under God's full control) that may remove all chances for action.

If we will accept the risk, wisdom has another word for us. Because we are not God and can never know, with 100% certainty, what the end result of any action will be, the wisdom of Ecclesiastes invites us to live life broadly and generously. The wise person will not set all his hopes on one set of actions, hoard all his things in one spot or throw all his energy into making just one disciple. Instead, he will diversify his investments, so to speak. Like the sower in Jesus' parable in Matthew 13, we are called to spread God's word to as many people as possible, because we cannot know who will be hard soil and who will receive it with joy. Like the sower in 2 Corinthians 9, we are called to give generously and freely, though some of our gifts may not prosper, for whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, but whoever sows bountifully will also reap bountifully. Of course, we are mere humans. We do not have infinite seed for sowing, and there are also investment opportunities that are obviously worthless. But within the boundaries of the fields we have been given, with the wisdom God gives us, we are to sow generously, leaving the outcome to the God who reaps where he does not sow and gathers where he scattered no seed.

The other day we were waiting at a stoplight and a panhandler rolled his wheelchair over to our window. Instantly, we start the debate in our minds, "Does it REALLY help him if we give him some change? What if he uses it to buy alcohol or drugs or other harmful things--we don't want to be enablers. And the 50 cents we have on us could probably be used to better effect if given to a good program..." Well yes, there is wisdom in giving with care. We want our money to be used as well as possible. But on the other hand, Ecclesiastes offers a place for not over-thinking everything. Who am I to judge how some stranger will use the money I give (especially when he appears lucid)? Do I need to have such a mental debate over a quarter cup of coffee's worth of change? What if I just decide to sow a little seed on the edges of my field and let trust God with the outcome? There is a place for deep thought and carefulness. But do we also have a place for broad generosity and swiftness in our actions?

Wisdom trusts God and lives actively. And wisdom trusts God and lives generously. For all us wind-searchers and cloud-watchers, Ecclesiastes invites us to take our trust off of our own control and wisdom and to place it where it ultimately belongs: in God's control and in the wisdom of the Holy Spirit that is available to all who ask for it in faith.

Community Matters (Meditations on Ecclesiastes)

"It is not good for the man to be alone." Right from the beginning of the world, God declares the very not-goodness of a human in isolation. It was not enough for Adam to have animals to care for and land to cultivate. He was created in the image of a God who lives in community in the Trinity; he needed another human being--a helper and companion. And nothing has changed since.

You may think I'm about to talk about marriage, but I'm not--at least not specifically. Though the first human relationship at creation was a married couple, the not-goodness of man being alone does not merely speak to marriage. It speaks to a broader in-born need for community that runs throughout the Bible. And in a book that deals with living life wisely in the midst of toil and trouble, Ecclesiastes does not fail to mention the importance of living in community with others.

"Again, I saw vanity under the sun: one person who has no other, either son or brother, yet there is no end to all his toil, and his eyes are never satisfied with riches, so that he never asks, 'For whom am I toiling and depriving myself of pleasure?' This also is vanity and an unhappy business. 
Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him--a threefold cord is not easily broken." (Eccl. 4:7-12)

In a world where there is so much futility and evil and death, we gain immeasurable riches by living our lives in community with others. Ecclesiastes gives us 5 things we gain by living in community:

1) Community is a place for service. 'For whom am I toiling and depriving myself of pleasure?' This also is vanity and an unhappy business. If I am merely working toward my own ends, for my own gain, I end up gaining nothing, and my toiling is a very unhappy business. When we live in community with others, we gain ample opportunities to serve, to work for the gain of others, to be last so that others might be first. And this brings joy and happiness to our work. I can enjoy the labour of making bread well enough, but the real joy in that labour comes in seeing others benefit from it as they enjoy the eating. What's more, even when the labour itself is hard and unpleasant, or seems to yield little fruit, there is a blessing in the simple grace of being in it with another, having someone to commiserate, to weep with you in the failure, to laugh with you over the futility.

2) Community is a place for increased fruit. Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. One person working by himself can only do so much. As soon as another person joins him, the amount of work done more than doubles. If you have a group of people working together toward the same end, the potential for fruit grows exponentially. We have seen this here in Liberty Village, and it is true in any community. The Body of Christ is more fruitful when each member is working together with the others toward a common goal for the glory of God.

3) Community is a place for help. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! When we are all on our own, and we fall into sin or error or difficult circumstances, we have no one to help us up. We need others around us who will pick us up when we fall, who will help carry our burdens and point us to the gospel. And we need to be help for others in their time of need, as well.

4) Community is an place for comfort. Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? The picture Ecclesiastes gives us is one of travellers sleeping outside on a cold night--they are warmer when they share body heat than when each sleeps by himself. And it is the same in this cold, dark world. Where life is full of feelings of futility, intense trials and mundane ones, weariness and uncertainty, we desperately need the warmth of community to provide comfort for the weary and hope for the downcast.

5) Community is a place for protection. And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him--a threefold cord is not easily broken. Life is not like the movies, where one guy routinely beats down 20 attackers in his own strength. Left to ourselves, one attacker can be enough to destroy us. But there is safety in numbers. In a world where wisdom is not always clear, where sin trips us up, where the church gets persecuted and Satan is always on the prowl, we do not do well to try and fight alone. We need the protection of the community, those who will stand with us on the day of battle, and still be standing with us when it is all over.

Are you trying to live your life on your own, serving your own ends, working by yourself, pulling yourself up, seeking comfort through your own means, trying to fight multiple attackers off by yourself? It is not good for a human to be alone! Even where living in community is hard, where it requires confession and forgiveness, when it means we have to give up some of our preferences to serve others, where we can't live on our own timetable, the benefits far outweigh the risks! God has made us for community, so let us be intentional about living in it.

Enjoy the Toil! (Meditations on Ecclesiastes)

Now that we've been in the doldrums of Ecclesiastes for a month, I thought it high time to examine the joy that is to be found in this little book... because it is there! Weaving through the futility, oppression, evil and death of the book, there is a strong thread of rejoicing. Over and over again, and sometimes even after the bleakest of statements, the author of Ecclesiastes commands us to "eat and drink and find enjoyment in [our] toil. This also is from the hand of God, for apart from him who can eat or who can have enjoyment?" "There is nothing better than to be joyful and to do good as long as they live; also that everyone should eat and drink and take pleasure in all his toil--this is God's gift to man."

We live in a world broken by sin, and we feel the weight of it. But at the same time, even in the midst of difficulty and sorrow, we are to find joy in the life we have been given by our good God. Ecclesiastes gives us several reasons to rejoice in this life we have been given:

1) Pleasure and joy are a gift from God. God created this world good, and he lavishes good gifts on us. There are so many things in creation that really have no other function than bringing joy. God didn't have to give us light by way of a sun that creates beauty merely by its rising and setting. He didn't have to create the cocoa bean, or the coffee bean, or grapes that ferment into something pleasing. We could still get along in a world that had no colour, no music, no fleecy-soft inner coat pockets (one I've been enjoying recently). But that is not the world God has given us. He has filled this world with more pleasures than I could list, and he does it so we will rejoice in the goodness of our Creator and give him glory.

2) God's sovereignty gives us freedom to enjoy life. Often I cease to enjoy the good gifts God has given me because I become consumed by stress and anxiety over details of my life that I cannot control. I become a slave to worry. Rather than enjoying the present pleasures, I am wrapped up in thinking about tomorrow, trying to manage the rest of my life in my head. And I defend this with the excuse that if I can figure everything out for the future, then I will really be able to relax and rejoice. But this is a lie. Ecclesiastes reminds us over and over again that this life is not under our control. Our lives, and every detail of them, are firmly in God's hands. This, of course, does not negate any responsibility on our part to be wise and good stewards of what God has given us, but it does mean that we must not spend our time in worry over tomorrow. Tomorrow will take care of itself. If we really believe that our lives are fully in the hand of our very good God (who is so good that he gives us all things richly to enjoy though we do not deserve it), then we gain the great freedom of really enjoying the life we've been given today, even when there are storm clouds on the horizon.

3) Enjoy all the life you have been given because it is short. "Light is sweet, and it is pleasant for the eyes to see the sun. If a person lives many years, let him rejoice in them all; but let him remember that the days of darkness will be many." (Eccl. 11:8) Moses puts it this way in Psalm 90: "The years of our life are seventy, or even by reason of strength eighty; yet their span is but toil and trouble; they are soon gone, and we fly away. So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom. Satisfy us in the morning with your steadfast love, that we may rejoice and be glad all our days." This is part of why Ecclesiastes regularly reminds us not only to rejoice in "pleasant" things, but also in the work that God has given us to do, despite that fact that so often it really feels like toil, because we recognize that having work to do means we still have the gift of life.

4) Rejoicing keeps us happily occupied. You're familiar with the phrase "time flies when you're having fun." Ecclesiastes says that isn't too far from the truth. Speaking of the man who rejoices in the life God has given him, it says, "For he will not much remember the days of his life because God keeps him occupied with joy in his heart." (Eccl. 5:20) Are you in the midst of difficulty and toil, wondering when it will ever end? Pay attention to all the things you've been given to enjoy, not least of which is the offer of salvation from sin, futility and death through Jesus' death on the cross in your place, and thank God for them. For while a heart of thankfulness does not remove the ache of living in a world stained by sin, it directs our attention off of the hardship we are facing, and toward the good God who has our whole life and all its details in His generous hands, and who graciously gives us so many things to enjoy, though we deserve none of them! And you may well find that the difficulty and toil passes far more quickly than when you focus only on the things you need deliverance from.

Yes, we must be careful not to find our ultimate joy in earthly things that can be taken away at any given time (Eccl. 11:8). Yes, we enjoy life only within the boundaries that God has set for us, recognizing that the day will come when we will have to answer to a Holy God for all we have done (Eccl. 11:9). But we ARE to enjoy what God has given, and thank Him for it.

We are sinners deserving of death, and yet we have been offered life and everything good through Jesus' death on the cross in our place! So we cannot merely be a people who ask hard questions and grieve oppression and futility. Yes, there are times to weep and mourn. But even in the midst of our mourning, may we be a grateful people. May there be a strong thread of rejoicing even in the middle of our pain and grief. May we not forget that God blesses us daily with many good things to enjoy, and that even in the worst circumstances, we have life, and salvation in Jesus. "He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?" (Romans 8:32)

Tears of the Oppressed (Meditations on Ecclesiastes)

"Again I saw all the oppressions that are done under the sun. And behold, the tears of the oppressed, and they had no one to comfort them! On the side of their oppressors there was power, and there was no one to comfort them. And I thought the dead who are already dead more fortunate than the living who are still alive. But better than both is he who has not yet been and has not seen the evil deeds that are done under the sun." (Ecclesiastes 4: 1-3)

Really? Is anyone allowed to say such a thing?! No wonder some of us feel uncomfortable with Ecclesiastes! Here is a book, inspired by God, that appears to claim it better to be dead, and indeed, to never have even been alive, than to have seen and experienced the evil that goes on under the sun. Where is the hope here?

In fact, the author of Ecclesiastes doesn't really offer any right now. There is terrible oppression done on this earth, injustices that in this life go continually unpunished (Eccl. 3:16-17). But we want to find the hope NOW. As Christians, we want Ecclesiastes to jump to the gospel, to hold up the coming judgement and offer salvation. Better off dead? Seriously?

In thinking through this troubling passage, I was really struck by Derek Kidner's question in his commentary:

If [the author]'s gloom strikes us as excessive at this point, we may need to ask whether our more cheerful outlook springs from hope and not complacency. While we, as Christians, see further ahead than he allowed himself to look, it is no reason to spare ourselves the realities of the present.

Are we shocked by the darkness of Ecclesiastes because we truly understand the hope of resurrection and future justice offered in the gospel, or, if we are honest, is it because we are not willing to go to the dark places in this world? Is it because we aren't ready to really look at the evils and oppressions that go on under the sun, and really care, really mourn, really weep with those who weep. To my shame, I have to admit that far too often, my lack of groaning is not because I'm so full of hope, but because I'm too lazy or comfortable to care. I'm apathetic. I don't look at the sufferings in this world with the grief of the God who created a beautiful world that was "very good" and then, in looking at the wickedness of man, "was sorry that he had made man on the earth, and it grieved him to his heart" (Genesis 6:6).

Do we care about the unspeakable horrors going on at this very moment around the world? Do we care that young girls are forced into prostitution at any age, let alone at ages when our own daughters are still playing with dolls? Does it grieve us that infants the world over are slaughtered just because their parents and or their governments don't want to deal with them? Does it matter to us that children are conscripted into violent armies, that slumlords, orphanage owners and relief workers grab for themselves many of the donations given for the poorest of the poor under their "care"? And what about our own Christian brothers and sisters in other nations who are tortured, enslaved, imprisoned and killed because their persecutors hate what they believe? What about the spiritual oppression and darkness in our own comfortable land?

"But what can I do?" we often ask. Ecclesiastes itself acknowledges that oppression and evil are out of our control. We can deal with it in one form, in one place, at one time, and it's just starting somewhere else. Until the day that Jesus returns, there will always be poor, oppressed people in this sinful world. But I may not use this as an excuse to cease caring, to ignore. There ARE practical things that can be done for some of these issues. And even if there really is no practical way that I can help, there is ALWAYS one practical way that I can help. I can PRAY. I can join with Ecclesiastes and with the psalmist and with the martyred saints before the throne of God and groan on behalf of the oppressed. I can weep and mourn and plead on their behalf before the throne of the only One who has the power to end the pain, to comfort the victims, and to judge their oppressors.

Yes, ultimately we do not mourn as those who have no hope. In the end, God will bring every deed into judgement, with every secret thing, whether good or evil (Eccl. 12:14). We do know that there is a Jesus who sets the captives free. But we may not use this hope as an excuse to ignore the darkness of this present age. If we want to follow the whole counsel of God, as revealed in the entirety of the Bible, we must also have a place for deep grief over the ravages of sin, over the terrible evils that plague masses of people made in the image of God. We must be willing to go with Solomon to the depths of human suffering and mourn it. We have a God who didn't just sit back, looking from a distance at our misery, saying, "Don't want to go there." We have a God who entered right in to a world burdened by sin and oppression, lived in the midst of it, wept under the weight of it, and then died a horrible death to deal with it once and for all.

We must not merely be a people of hope, but also a hopeful people who care, who act, who pray to the God of all mercy and comfort on behalf of those who have no earthly hope. May we be a people who weep with the tears of the oppressed.

Achieving Eternity (Meditations on Ecclesiastes)

Do you want to live forever? Regardless of whether you believe it is possible or not, most of us live our lives in pursuit of this goal. We do our best at our work, we strive to realize our dreams, we do great things, we try to make the world a better place, we want to be good friends or good parents... And while we do these things in part because it makes us happy, most of us would have to honestly say that we also do them because we want our achievements, our memory, our good works, our descendants to live on after us. We seek eternity by means of works that will last long after we are gone. We may be dead and in the ground, but our memory will live on in the hearts of those that knew us or benefit from the things we accomplished.

Ecclesiastes is a book about seeking eternity. Though it only mentions the word once, the idea is present in virtually every chapter of the book. Its characters, including its author, are people who seek wisdom and knowledge, or who build great architectural edifices, or who attain high political offices, or who are very religious and want to do great things for God. Some of them are incredibly innovative. Others have large families given to them to care for. There are men and women, kings and lay people, young people and old people, wise people and foolish people, wealthy nobility and the humble poor. And the vast majority of them are seeking eternity by means of a life well-lived, whatever that may mean to each of them. Sound like any world you know?

Of course, this is also no surprise, because Ecclesiastes tells us that God "has put eternity into man's heart". We are created with a desire for immortality imprinted on our very being. Elsewhere in the Bible, we are told that man was made to live forever. But he has been thwarted by sin and is now universally condemned to death. We who are made with eternity in our hearts now have a 100% chance of dying. But this death sentence does not stop us from seeking the immortality we should have had. You will rarely meet a person who could care less about how they will be remembered. Even those who do great evil are often seeking a name for themselves. Better to be infamous for the rest of human history for some terrible deed than to lie forgotten in an unmarked grave with the vast majority of the human race.

The problem with achieving eternity via long-standing accomplishments (however noble) or via a good name is that we have no guarantee that anything we do in this life will outlive us. You can spend your days toiling to build up your business and have no guarantee that the person who takes over after you won't run it into the ground. You can be a mother who pours her life into her children, giving them every chance at success, teaching them with all wisdom and insight to live a life of godliness and you have no guarantee that they will live on after you as godly, successful people. You can't even guarantee that they will outlive you! And even if we could guarantee good results, "there is no remembrance of former things, nor will there be any remembrance of later things yet to be among those who come after." So, "what does man gain by all the toil at which he toils under the sun?" (Eccl. 1:2, 11). Death comes for us all (another prominent theme in Ecclesiastes), and regardless of what we have done or how often our name is mentioned 500 years from now, we will be forgotten. Think about the handful of names you know from history (out of the billions who have ever lived), and then think about how much deconstruction, reconstruction, reanalysis and "new discoveries!" are part of our knowledge about history. We don't even know those people for who they really, really were.

No, we have no hope of achieving immortality for ourselves, no matter how hard we try. We who are made with eternity in our hearts are doomed to be lost and forgotten to the running sands of time. BUT, "whatever God does endures forever; nothing can be added to it, nor anything taken from it" (Eccl. 3:14). God who put eternity in our hearts also only does that which lasts forever. This means that the only way we will ever live on forever is through participating in God's enduring work. And he invites us into it! In fact, he offers us an exchange: he will take our broken, half-hearted, mediocre, forgettable work, as well as the best, most pleasing achievements we have to offer (which are still just as perishable as we are); and in its place, he will give us the perfect, everlasting, finished work of his son, Jesus. When we admit that we cannot make eternity for ourselves, and instead put all our trust and hope in God's finished and enduring work at the cross of Jesus, then, and only then, do we gain unending life. "And this is eternal life, that they may know you the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent." (John 17:3)

This may mean that we live a life that will be forgotten by mankind. It may mean living in a way that doesn't seem very successful to others, and even at many times to ourselves. But it is our only sure hope for eternity, and that makes it a life worth living.

Hard Answers (Meditations on Ecclesiastes)

And the pain falls like a curtain

On the things I once called certain

And I have to say the words I fear the most

I just don't know

And the questions without answers

Come and paralyze the dancer

So I stand here on the stage afraid to move

Afraid to fall, oh, but fall I must

On the truth that my life has been formed from the dust

God is God and I am not

I can only see a part of the picture He's painting

God is God and I am man

So I'll never understand it all

For only God is God.

-Steven Curtis Chapman

These words just about sum up one of the major themes of Ecclesiastes.

"God has put eternity into man's heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end... Then I saw all the work of God, that man cannot find out the work that is done under the sun. However much man may toil in seeking, he will not find it out. Even though a wise man claims to know, he cannot find it out... As you do not know the way the spirit comes to the bones in the womb of a woman with child, so you do not know the work of God who makes everything." (Eccl. 3:11, 8:17, 11:5)

The Bible allows us to ask our hard questions, but it does not promise easy answers, at least not in this life under the sun. In fact there are many times that all it leaves us with is "God knows." Ecclesiastes is a book that asks lots of difficult questions and has very little in the way of succinct, satisfying answers. At first, this seems enormously frustrating. How can God leave us hanging like that?

By way of answering that question, the author of Ecclesiastes reminds us, first, that we are mere creatures, formed from the dust and destined to return to it. We are a finite people who exist in time and space, with a limited capacity for knowledge. We are not God, and don't have the ability to comprehend all that God has planned, even if he were to explain it to us. And God has made things that way, at least in part, so we would know our place as creatures and not seek to elevate ourselves to the level of gods.

But this truth of our "earthiness" does not leave us floating around in a universe with no gravity and nothing to cling to. The Preacher also answers that all things are firmly in God's hands and he will do exactly as he pleases, at exactly the right time. We need not fear what he does not yet answer; we need only trust the One who will put all things right in the end: Though a sinner does evil a hundred times and prolongs his life, yet I know that it will be well with those who fear God, because they fear before him. But it will not be well with the wicked, neither will he prolong his days like a shadow, because he does not fear before God. (8:12,13)

There are glimmers of hope in Ecclesiastes (not lying--they're there!), but as in much of the Old Testament, the author offers only a misty portrait of the hope to come. Life after death is assured, but in a shadowy form with little detail. And here is where the faint traces of future hope need the rest of biblical revelation to be fleshed out. While many of our specific questions still go unanswered in the New Testament, the most important answer we could ever need has been given once and for all at the cross and empty tomb of Jesus. It is at the cross that God declares for all time that whatever trials you may meet with in this life, you need not face eternal punishment in the next if you are trusting in Jesus' death on your behalf. It is at the empty tomb that the hope of our own future resurrection is sealed. Romans 8 puts meat on the bones of Ecclesiastes: "For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us... And not only the creation, but we ourselves who have the firstfruits of the Spirit groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope, we were saved." (Romans 8:18-25)

But in the meantime, we wait, and find that many of the questions we ask about the seeming futility of our work, the pain in our own lives and the injustice and oppression that abound in the world--those questions go unanswered for now.

Ecclesiastes reminds us that we make a serious mistake if we call hurting people to Jesus with the promise that he will fix everything: that he will make their marriage better, make their kids behave, help them find satisfaction in their work, keep them from tragedy, and answer every question they could ever ask. We make a serious mistake if we expect Jesus to do the same for us. Jesus doesn't PROMISE those things. He doesn't promise easy answers. But he DOES promise to be with you in the hard times of your marriage, to be with you when your kids don't listen, to be with you when you'd rather be anywhere but where you are right now, to be with you when the bottom drops out and you're in a free fall. He promises that even when we don't understand, don't have the answers, and everything we do seems futile, there is nothing in all creation that can separate us from God's love if we are clinging to him. He promises that HE knows the answers, and he IS working all things for our good and his glory, even when we can't see it. He promises that one day we will see him face to face, and God will wipe every weary tear from our eyes. And while these may not be the easy answers we're looking for, they are the only answers that can carry us through both the happy and the sad times, through the easy questions and the hard ones.

"Oh, the depths of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are his judgements and how inscrutable his ways! 'For who has known the mind of the Lord, and who has been his counselor? Who has given a gift to him that he might be repaid?' For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be glory forever. Amen." (Romans 11:33-36)

Hard Questions (Meditations on Ecclesiastes)

"I'm not a perfect parent, but I've worked hard to faithfully love my kids and teach them God's truth. So why, oh why, are they in the trouble they're in right now?" "Years of labour to build up this business, and it's all wiped out in a sudden market crash! Lord, why? Was all my toil for nothing?" "All day long on the news, all I see is people around the world being oppressed, and their oppressors are laughing all the way to the bank! Where is justice?" "Christians around the world are being slaughtered for their faith, and the West is silent. How long, O Lord, how long?" Or maybe it's as mundane as, "I'm not even done with the laundry for 2 seconds and someone falls face first into the mud. Will the cycle never end?!"

Futility. It's all around us. And if we're really honest, these are the kinds of cries that plague us, even if we really believe that God is good, and in control, and trustworthy. But if we're also really honest, many of us feel some level of guilt about asking such questions. I mean, if I was a good Christian, I wouldn't ask those kinds of questions--I would just trust God and rejoice always, right? I saw an interview once with a well-known Christian who had just suffered terribly tragic circumstances, but who was testifying that he was given such faith that the question "Why?" never even crossed his mind. And I felt guilty because I've never faced anything like he had, and yet I've asked hard questions about the pain in this world.

But Ecclesiastes is a book that calls us to question our doubts about our questions, because it is a book FULL of hard questions, of groaning under the seeming futility of life, of weariness in the face of life's difficulties. Right from the get-go, we are faced with the outburst, "Vanity of vanities, says the Preacher, vanity of vanities! All is vanity. What does a man gain by all the toil at which he toils under the sun?" Not very comforting, eh?

We like the book of Proverbs because it seems to present a neatly ordered, logical universe where the hard-working prosper, the wise stay out of trouble, and the godly man enjoys a good life. We struggle with Ecclesiastes because it takes us to a world where children are trained up in the way they should go, and lo and behold, they depart from it! It is a world where the hard-working may lose everything in a single sweep of God's hand, where the wise live in wisdom and still die like the rest of mankind, where our toil is futile and we cry out with the Psalmist, "Why do the wicked proper? How long, O LORD?" This is a world where even the people of God come up against seeming absurdity, futility, vanity.

Like Job and the Psalms, Ecclesiastes shows us that God is not afraid of our hard questions and our groaning. In fact, he is so interested in our hard questions that he's written them up in his book. If we were afraid to ask, it's right there on the page, begging for answers.

Here's the thing: The Bible never calls us to be stoics, leaving all those earthly, human emotions stuffed in the back of the closet (with the awkward cousin, no doubt), while we piously repeat our mantra, "All things work together for good... all things work together for good..." and pull ourselves forward to a better day. It also never calls us to the happy-happy-joy-joy kind of "faith" that always responds immediately to job loss, illness, war, oppression or death with a "Hallelujah! Life is great!"

We are called to praise God in all circumstances, yes. Job DID fall down and worship even when his property and family were wiped out (Job 1:20-22). And all things DO work together for good for those who love God and are called according to his purpose (Romans 8:28). But we live in a once-perfect world horribly distorted by sin, terribly twisted by futility. And we FEEL it. So often, we spout Romans 8:28 at ourselves and others in pain without the context. We skip the part Paul didn't--a creation full of suffering that groans, that feels futile, that longs. And we also groan inwardly as we wait for creation to be made new. We hope, yes, but often it is a groaning hope.

Paul himself was given a thorn, and while he says he is content with it, that did not come until he had PLEADED with the Lord 3 times to remove it (2 Cor. 12:7-10). Jesus himself, very God of very God, as he was in agony on the cross, cried out and groaned under the weight of his suffering. He wasn't just making a neat theological point about the end of Psalm 22 when he screamed out, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" (Mark 15:34) Even our martyred brothers and sisters who stand before the very throne of God in heaven are crying out, "How long before you will judge and avenge our blood on those who dwell on the earth?" (Rev. 6:10)

Yes, there's a way to ask hard questions with a bitter and angry spirit that challenges the goodness and wisdom of God, that thinks it knows better. And yes, we must avoid that. But there is a questioning and a weeping that is very much a part of biblical Christianity. It is a groaning that presses on in faith even when the answers aren't quick in coming. It is a mourning that sits and weeps with those who weep, rather than offering platitudes, or demanding that they just trust God and get over it. It is a faith that leaves room for people to ask hard questions about the meaning of life and the absurdities of suffering without panicking that God can't handle the heat.

Is there room in your Bible for hard questions?

Dealing With the Awkward Cousin (Meditations on Ecclesiastes)

Solomon must have been an interesting guy. Of the 3 Old Testament books attributed to him, there's exactly 1 we're all pretty comfortable with... Proverbs, brilliant book of timeless wisdom and insight into human life and nature. But then there are those other two, the ones about which we may be tempted to wonder how they ever made it into the Bible. We've got Song of Solomon on the one hand, a very personal poem about love, sex and physical beauty. And then on the other hand, there's Ecclesiastes, a book about the apparent meaninglessness of life. At face value, it's an pretty pessimistic look at reality, and one that for most of my life, I have to admit, I've always been a little puzzled by. In fact, while it's certainly not universal (my husband and brother-in-law both count Ecclesiastes as very instrumental in their coming to follow Jesus), my guess is that many of us struggle with the existence of this little book. Maybe it's because there are parts of it that seem to contradict other parts of the Bible. Maybe it's because of the continual refrain that everything under the sun is futile, which seems just a little negative for a book inspired by God. For me, I think the most troubling thing about the thoughts in Ecclesiastes is that there are so many questions in it that really resonate with me when life is difficult, and this makes me exceedingly uncomfortable because these are very questions I feel guilty about asking, the ones I would never dare to approach God with.

But whatever I may feel about it, Ecclesiastes IS part of God's holy word, so I can't just ignore it. If this book belongs to God's revelation of himself to us, than I cannot just shut it up in the closet, like that awkward cousin at the family reunion that everyone just pretends doesn't exist. If it is God's word to me, than it has important things to say, and I shut my ears at my own peril.

So, all that being said, I recently decided it was time to really dig into this book, even if it makes me squirm. And what I'm finding as I read and study it is that, just as in all Scripture, there is much wealth to be mined here, things I wish I had had a better grasp of long before now. So over the next few weeks, I plan to post a few meditations on this troubling, puzzling, abundantly rich Old Testament book. If you want to study further, there are some good commentaries out there. The main ones I'm using are both accessible to lay people:

The Message of Ecclesiastes by Derek Kidner (not technical at all)
Proverbs, Ecclesiastes and Song of Solomon by Duane A. Garrett (more detailed, technicalities mostly limited to footnotes)

These commentaries come to the book from slightly different points of view, so they are helpful together.

Stay tuned to help me deal with that awkward cousin!

All Sufficiency

Lately I've become rather uncomfortably aware of the fact that I don't have a whole lot to offer. Time seems to run pretty short these days, what with full days of school that are often followed by evening events. Energy is running even shorter as I pour most of what I have into schooling the kids on the one end and on the other, working toward the growth and development of Liberty Grace Church. Money? Well, we're in the middle of fundraising, and while we're encouraged by the generosity of many and have yet to really truly be in need, we're not exactly sitting on a mountain of cash either. Then there's wisdom needed for new seasons of parenting older kids, and sanity sorely lacking for Round 4 of potty training.

So I regularly need this little reminder from 2 Corinthians 9. It speaks specifically to financial matters, but applies to all of life:

Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly; whoever sows bountifully will also reap bountifully. Each one should give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work.

I'm not the one who needs to have lots to offer. It's God's abundant, sufficient, gracious provision in all things that enables me to do the good work he has called me to, and not just to do it, but to abound in it, and cheerfully, too! So that I can honestly say with Paul (in 2 Cor. 12:), "I will most gladly spend and be spent for your souls!" on behalf of my husband, my kids, my church community, and the many around me who do not know the good news about Jesus.

Seasons

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:

a time to be born, and a time to die;

a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;

a time to kill, and a time to heal;

a time to break down, and a time to build up;

a time to weep, and a time to laugh;

a time to mourn, and a time to dance...

a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

a time for war and a time for peace.

(Ecclesiastes 3:1-8)

I love the changing of the seasons. As we head into fall weather, I am enjoying the cool, crisp nights and seeing the trees start to change into bright bursts of fiery colour. I doubt there will be any smell of woodstove here among the condos, so I'll have to imagine that one (does anyone make woodstove-scented candles?). But at least there will be hydro savings now that open windows are enough to cool this place down. And hey, pulling out the fall clothes is not unlike getting a new wardrobe, right?

I've always said that I would never want to live in a place that where the weather was constant. Summer and blue skies and beaches are great for a while, but I would actually miss having snow from time to time. Of course, one could argue that if I love having 4 seasons, Ontario is not the best choice of locale, but, well, here we are. And it is NOT always winter (though it feels like it, come late March).

If you've been following this blog, you may have noticed that it's been a bit quiet here lately. Okay, it's been completely silent. And that's largely due to the fact that we're changing seasons around here--new church planting season, new parenting season, new school year. The funny thing is that as much as I love going through the annual changing of the seasons, I'm not such a fan of new seasons when it comes to the story of my life. There are many times that I wish I could just plop myself down in a particular season of life and stay there, at least for a good long while. Or, I wish that I could fast-forward through several seasons until I get to one that seems a little more comfortable.  Changing seasons involves new ways of doing things, a reordering of priorities, new tasks, old tasks to which I now need to say "no" or "not so much", and the acceptance that there are good and pleasant things that I will not ever have in the same form again. (Granted, there are also things to which I say a hearty, "Good-bye, and may we never meet again!") And it often seems like I'm just settling into a routine, just beginning to feel like I've got this one under control, when I'm sent spinning into another season with new demands for which I feel completely under-equipped. Do you ever feel this way?

But in the midst of changing seasons, I am more than thankful for an unchanging God! When things feel confusing or out of control, I'm thankful that we have a God who always knows what is coming and always has it under perfect control. When I have to lay aside projects or hobbies or blogging for a time because a new season is more demanding of me, I am thankful that our God never runs out of time or energy to do everything He wants to accomplish in my life and in our world. When I feel completely under-equipped to handle the rigours of a new stage of life, I am thankful that God's power is made perfect in my weakness. And I am thankful that in all the seasons of life, I never need to worry that any of these truths about God will change and somehow leave me hanging.

Of old you laid the foundation of the earth,

and the heavens are the work of your hands.

They will perish, but you will remain;

they will all wear out like a garment.

You will change them like a robe, and they will pass away,

but you are the same, and your years have no end.

(Psalm 102:25-27)

Fall is here and winter is coming. But even if the beauty of fall is short and the deadness of winter is long, whether the season is fun or challenging or downright agonizing, I can lean confidently on the unchanging nature of God until he brings me into the unchanging beauty of eternity.

Limited: It's Why We Need Him

It's kind of funny to me how often I get to thinking and writing about something here on the blog, and within short order, seem to get the "opportunity" to really practise what I preach. Maybe I should just spend my time writing about how exciting and happy and easy life always is... except that would be a lie :) No, I should just be thankful that God doesn't just let me say good and true things about him, but also gives me chances to really believe it practically.

So anyway, I've been writing about limitations, and how we have so many and how frustrating they can be, but also about how encouraging it is that we have an unlimited God who cares for us, and a God who became limited in order to identify with our limitations and to save us. And so, of course, this past week I have been stretched to my limits. And to be perfectly honest, I haven't fared so well with them. When I'm tired to the verge of insanity and experiencing anxiety symptoms again after several months of relief, it's hard to maintain hope and peace and joy in Christ's work on my behalf and God's good care for me. When I'm struggling to find strength to complete basic housecleaning and dog-walking tasks along with the rest of my to-dos, I'll admit that it really is far easier and more "natural" to wish Nathan had two fully-functioning knees and could sweep or walk the dog or lug our suitcases up and down the stairs than to rejoice in the suffering (albeit light and momentary) that I've been granted. Tears have been cried, impatient words have been uttered, resentments have had to be repented for.

And in the midst of all this, I've often been reminded of the truth that was already going to be Part Three of this brief little series on limitations: we are limited, and it shows us our desperate need for God. I've been studying 2 Corinthians for the last several months, and this truth is stated over and over again in that book. Our limitations (and trials) are meant to drive us to God, who is the only one who can really accomplish what needs to be done anyway.

For we do not want you to be unaware, brothers, of the affliction we experienced in Asia. For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead.

For we are the aroma of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing,  to one a fragrance from death to death, to the other a fragrance from life to life. Who is sufficient for these things?... Such is the confidence that we have through Christ toward God.  Not that we are sufficient in ourselves to claim anything as coming from us, but our sufficiency is from God, who has made us sufficient to be ministers of a new covenant, not of the letter but of the Spirit. For the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life.

For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ. But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us.

So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.*

When I am confident in my ability to handle anything, to do everything, even to react with joy and grace when my limitations do show up, I am confident in myself, relying on myself, thinking the power belongs to me and giving myself the credit.

But when I reach my limits, and I mean really reach my limits, there is nothing left in ME to rely on. All I have left is God's limitless strength, sufficiency and power. But that's exactly where my reliance needs to be--even when I do seem to be puttering along just fine on my own. We have a God whose power is enough to raise the dead, whose sufficiency has no bounds, whose strength is infinite. And he invites us to rest our weak, powerless, insufficient selves in him.

It's been a week of being stretched to my limits. But if it forces me to put my trust outside of myself into the one place my trust really belongs--the power of my limitless Heavenly Father--then there's cause for joy and room for grace.


*(2 Corinthians 1:8,9; 2:15,16; 3:4-6; 4:6,7; 12:7-10)

Limited: It's What He Became

My last post was supposed to be Part One, and this was supposed to post shortly thereafter. But due to some limitations, it's now going on two weeks since my first post. This one doesn't require reading the other, but if you'd like to read Part One, it is here.
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I don't know about you, but I'm not usually a big fan of my limitations. If it were up to me, I think I'd gladly trade the need to eat and sleep for the chance to complete 10 lifetimes of work in one (just the need though... I'd take the occasional nap and have gourmet meals just for fun).  I'd top up my IQ, get the most education possible, and have an unlimited cash flow. Heat wouldn't slow me down and cold wouldn't keep me indoors. Yep, if I could order things "my way", I'd do away with the limitations that keep me from accomplishing the things I want. And of course, it would all be in the interest of mankind in general, right? I mean, some of my ambitions are pretty noble. Well, okay, having things easy wouldn't be too bad for me either.

Of course, there's only one who is not limited, only one who can actually do everything he plans, only one who has the infinite power and goodness to do what is truly best for mankind and the world at large, and that is God. 

That's why I find it pretty shocking to think that God actually made a choice to take on limitations, to live on this earth for 33 years in a human body. He didn't have to; he chose to be limited. The God who is present everywhere came to us as a newborn infant, weighing a mere few kilograms, completely helpless and totally dependent on his mother to provide milk, clean cloths and a warm, dry spot to sleep. The God who knows all things had to learn that those funny wiggling things in front of his face were actually his own fingers. The God whose hands supply the food for all living creatures was himself hungry. The God who created trees and clay and stone had no permanent home in which to lay his weary head. The God who is eternal experienced death on a cross.

Why? Why would anyone, let alone God, choose to take on those very limitations that I so often despise?Because in order for us limited people to be saved out of limitless rebellion, he had to become like us. In order to put himself in our place as a perfect sacrifice for sins, he had to first put himself in our place as a human, and humans are limited.

"Since therefore the children share in flesh and blood, he himself likewise partook of the same things, that through death he might destroy the one who has the power of death, that is, the devil, and deliver all those who through fear of death were subject to lifelong slavery.  For surely it is not angels that he helps, but he helps the offspring of Abraham.  Therefore he had to be made like his brothers in every respect, so that he might become a merciful and faithful high priest in the service of God, to make propitiation for the sins of the people. For because he himself has suffered when tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted." (Hebrews 2:14-18)

The glorious thing about all this is not only that I have a God who became limited for a time in order to free me from death into limitless life (though that were enough!), but I also have a God who understands experiencially what it is to be limited. He doesn't shake his head at my desperate need for sleep in the midst of the legitimate needs of my kids; he's had to go way to rest at times when people were clamouring for healing. He doesn't condemn me when my intellectual limitations just don't allow me to grasp the solution to a problem; he had to spend time learning to tie a sandal and read a book. When I really want to serve in 10 different ministries but am not physically able to be in all those places at the same time, he doesn't look at me and say, "Boy, she sure needs to grow in service!" (though I do). He also had to turn down opportunities because he needed to be somewhere else.

And this encourages me to be faithful in what I can do, by the grace of God, rather than just be frustrated with what I can't (Hebrews 3:1-6, 4:14-16). This encourages me to rest in Christ's perfect record of work rather than putting my self-worth in 10 lifetimes worth of unceasing, unlimited labour (Hebrews 4).

He chose to become limited so that I don't need to be limitless!

Limited: It's What We Are

Have you ever had plans to accomplish something, fully convinced it was a manageable workload, set yourself to work... and unexpectedly come straight up against the sheer wall of human limitations? If you've been human for long, it's probably happened to you at least once! Maybe it was a new job that you felt well-qualified for until you really got into it and realized exactly what it was going to require. Maybe it was a reasonable deadline that you were somehow still rushing, and perhaps failing, to meet at the final wire. Perhaps a party you were excited to plan until a week of the flu took you down. Or maybe it is just the 5-minute job of sweeping the kitchen floor that succumbs to your body's desperate cry for sleep.

Last week was one of those weeks when I found myself against that frustrating wall--more than once (and hence, no blog post). Lots to do but limited time. Lots of people to be around, but limited social energy. And even early in the week when I did feel like I had both time and energy for the things I wanted to do, I was limited by flooding and power outages. More than once, I fell into bed exhausted, still thinking about the 2 or 3 other things I really "should have been able to fit in."

My frustration brought to mind a line from a song by Trip Lee:

You may be thinking you're a beast, but believe me,
You still gotta sleep in the evening,
Gotta eat, need heat when it's freezing.

Yes, I like a little hip hop from time to time. And I frequently need to re-listen to that particular song (Limitations--if you have rdio, you can hear it here), because when it comes to filling my to-do list plate, my eyes are often bigger than my stomach. Sometimes it is pride: "Sure I can pull that off! Who couldn't?" Too often, my self-image is warped; I see myself as a beast, able to haul all kinds of loads and bear all kinds of burdens without breaking a sweat, and far too often, I'm actually surprised to discover that I don't hold up. Sometimes, especially lately, it's ignorance, being unaware of what's really realistic in the face of new circumstances. Since Nathan had his surgery 2 months ago, I've had to take on some tasks that used to be his, and I'm still adjusting to the new requirements. For example, I used to run errands once or at most twice a week, and he would run all the little ones in between on his way home from work. Now I run almost all of them, and for a homebody like me, that's a real energy sapper, and affects what else I'm good for on a given day. But I'm still learning to take that into account. And of course, sometimes it's a mixture of pride and ignorance that's very difficult to pull apart...

So many things we wanna get our hands on,
So many heights we wanna reach that we planned on,
And we was thinking that we just missed our chance, homes,
But ain't reaching long enough no matter what we stand on.

The point of the song and, I suppose, of this post, is that we are created as limited, finite beings, and we need to humbly accept this. But we are also created by the limitless, infinite God of wonders:

He has no hunger; never does he sleep or he slumber.
He's never limited; no enemies can ever come up with a victory;
He's got the 1-UP; he runs us.

I need to remember that I'm a human being with limitations; I can't do it all! But I also need to remember that I'm under the care of the all-powerful, never-failing God who always brings his purposes to completion, even on those days when I hit that wall.

Have you not known? Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.

He does not faint or grow weary;

his understanding is unsearchable.
He gives power to the faint,
and to him who has no might he increases strength.
Even youths shall faint and be weary,

and young men shall fall exhausted;
but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength;
they shall mount up with wings like eagles;

they shall run and not be weary;

they shall walk and not faint.

(Isaiah 40:28-31)

I've got a couple more thoughts, but due to the limits of time and space, they'll wait for another day.

Deceived By My Personality Profile?

"You have such a quiet and gentle spirit! I wish it came that naturally to me!"

I can't tell you how many times I've heard that statement, or something like it, in some small group discussion of I Peter 3. And there was a time when I believed it myself. But there came a point, several years back, when I realized that actually, I only have a quiet and gentle exterior. The frequent state of my inner spirit tells an entirely different story.

We have come to accept certain ideas about different personalities, often based on what we observe from the outside, or on what others observe from the outside and tell us about ourselves. Introverts are good listeners, studious, insightful, good writers, hate public speaking, love to serve in the background, but hate change. Extroverts love people, get a rush out of performing in front of a large crowd, make great evangelists, always know what to say, will talk to any stranger without fear, and are up for any adventure at a moment's notice.

Really?

I'm sure there are some people who fit these stereotypes to a T. But I'm not one of them, and neither is my extroverted husband, nor, to tell the truth, anyone else I know personally. Unfortunately, though, we often view ourselves (and others) according to these respective lists, and fail to see areas both of needed growth, and of unexpected strength.

Take listening, for example. I fall into a pretty classic introvert form: quiet (unless I'm with my sisters), studious, shake when I have to talk to a large group, love time alone with a good book. So I must be a good listener, because all introverts are, right? Also, plenty of people have told me that I am, so there's further confirmation. But what is this observation based on? That my mouth stays shut while others are talking? That I nod my head in the right places? Even that I might have a good observation to make at the end? These things may all be true, but if you could see what is often really going on in my head when I'm "listening", it's not so flattering. I can be perfectly quiet, nodding my head in time... and halfway to another galaxy. Or I might be quietly analyzing your first sentence and trying to figure out how to respond, missing pretty much everything else in the course of my analysis. And then there are the times that I hear every word, but just don't like what you say, and won't plan on taking it into account when I have to make that decision. Good listener, eh?

Or take that passage in I Peter 3. It's true that I'm quiet and usually gentle on the outside. But a quiet and gentle spirit is one that does not fear anything that is frightening, that submits peacefully to God's authority and providence. And far too often, beneath my quiet exterior roll waves of anxiety, stress, distraction, frustration and discontentment! No, truth be told, I have a lot of growing to do in listening and heart-quieting!

On the upside though, despite the fact that I'm supposed to love peace and quiet and a little nook away from people, I've discovered that I really love being around people, meeting new people (though I may feel awkward doing it), and taking big risks, as long as I get to take them with others I love. Maybe since I'm an introvert, I should hate living in a condo community with 5,000 of my closest friends, but in reality, I love living here, and find all the people energizing.

I'm not just picking on the introvert stereotype, either. Extroverts have their own hidden struggles and strengths. Just because you like to be around people and talk to them doesn't mean that talking boldly about the gospel with others is second-nature to you. In fact, if you derive energy from pleasant, affirming social interactions, evangelism for you may well require the same amount of effort and Spirit-given power that an introvert needs for the same task. You may love to be around people, but have a very hard time actually LOVING them. Public speaking may still give you butterflies. But on the other hand, just because you are extroverted doesn't mean you can't be skilled at really listening to people and giving them wise counsel. You can be an extroverted prayer warrior, or an extrovert who thinks very deeply about God's word (or both!).

The simple fact is that God has made us much more than binary creatures, either-ors who function in a black and white world with predictable everything. To begin with, we are all sinful, and manage to fight God's standards even in places where, in theory, we should be the most agreeable. Then, we have complicated mental processes, backgrounds, experiences and personality conglomerations that keep us from matching the stereotype and cause us to make decisions and react to things in ways that make sense only to ourselves (if that!). But it's also true that the God who created amazing galaxies yet unknown to us, an insect world that where new species are still being discovered regularly, and natural mechanisms even the most brilliant scientists have yet to reduce to a simple equation is the God who creates human beings in his own image--not exactly mundane or dichromatic--and calls us each to reflect his glorious diversity in our own unique way as we work together with other unique individuals to form the body of Christ.

It takes humility to admit that an extrovert might be able to teach me how to listen. It may not be easy for an extrovert to go to a godly introvert for encouragement in evangelism. But I don't just want to be a classic introvert. I want to be like Jesus. And that takes consistent growth in ALL areas of my life, the encouragement and admonishment of even the most "unlikely" people, and the eye-opening grace of the Holy Spirit to see my sin for what it is--"positive" exterior actions aside--and to see areas where I've been given strengths outside my "profile" that I can use to build up the body of Christ.

Where are you missing your sin or God's grace in your life because of a label you've been given?

Room For All

"The evangelical culture ties together faithfulness with extroversion. The emphasis is on community, on participating in more and more programs and events, on meeting more and more people. It's a constant tension for many introverts that they're not living that out. And in a religious world, there's more at stake when you feel that tension. It doesn't feel like 'I'm not doing as well as I'd like.' It feels like 'God isn't pleased with me.'"

- Adam McHugh (1), as quoted in Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking by Susan Cain

Is there room in the church for introverts? This is one of the questions Susan Cain asks in her fascinating--and fairly helpful--book Quiet. (She's not just picking on the church--she asks the same about the business and education worlds.) Cain writes about the difficulty fitting in and flourishing that introverts may find in all the community- and interaction-oriented activities in the typical evangelical church and concludes that we have "taken the Extrovert Ideal to its logical extreme... If you don't love Jesus out loud, then it must not be real love. It's not enough to forge your own spiritual connection to the divine; it must be displayed publicly. Is it any wonder that introverts... start to question their own hearts?" (emphasis hers).

So, is there room in the church for introverts? Yes, yes, and yes again for good measure! It is true that some things done in church services and meetings make introverts feel uncomfortable (a common example is the "greet your neighbour" moment). And yes, some of these things may be done with little thought given to how introverts, or new people, or people with disabilities or others might react. But the simple fact of the matter is that there are many parts of being a Christian that are biblically commanded that make introverts feel uncomfortable. Show hospitality to strangers; do not neglect the assembly of believers; we believe and so we also speak; be very bold...  Does that mean God loves extroverts more? By no means! There are plenty of biblical commandments that introverts may find more simple, while the extrovert sitting next to them is squirming(2): be slow to speak (and quick to hear, though McHugh has written a good post on the stereotype of introverts as good listeners and extroverts as poor ones), let no corrupting talk come out of your mouth, but only what is useful for building others up, pray, meditate on God's word day and night... And then there are those that are hard for all of us, like "bless those who persecute you".

The truth is that God's standards are not all easy for anyone to follow, whether you are an introvert or an extrovert, a child or an adult, a man or a woman, rural or urban, Chinese, German, Canadian or Rwandan. There are parts of God's character that some of us find easier to follow than others, but each of us will come across points that make us uncomfortable, that require serious effort. In fact, we will all encounter areas in following Jesus that require nothing less than the power of God's spirit working through us to accomplish, our own personal offering being nothing but weakness and insufficiency!

That is how I have sometimes felt about participating in church gatherings. Some days that's hard for me--I feel the nagging temptation to stay home and be quiet. And yes, there's a good time and a place for quiet, for sure. But one of the defining characteristics of a follower of Jesus is that he is no longer his own, no longer independent. God makes him a member of Jesus' body, to work together with other Christians as members of the same body. That's pretty intense and intimate imagery for an introvert! That's getting into my space just a little more than I'd like! And that's why I need God's grace to live this way, just like the stereotypical extrovert needs God's grace to sit still and meditate on God's Word for a while, even though friends are calling on her to come be social.

Furthermore, whether it is "comfortable" or not, loving Jesus out loud is part of truly loving Jesus. James says that faith without works is dead, and the Bible is full of exhortations to speak God's truth and declare God's praise. If no one else on the planet ever sees you act or speak in a way that demonstrates love for Jesus, you should question your heart, just as you might be questioned on your love for your spouse if you never did or said anything public to show it. However, "public faith" doesn't mean you have to be standing up on the pew, shouting for all the world to hear. Yes, it might make you uncomfortable nonetheless. But Christianity isn't about being comfortable--not in this life anyway. We worship a crucified Jesus and he was NOT comfortable on that cross! But he went there so we didn't have to take the punishment for all the times we are too afraid to love Jesus out loud, for all the times we don't pray, don't invite that lonely person over when we feel the Spirit nudging us, don't shut up and really listen. And he gives us his spirit so that we can have grace and power to live like he did, even when it doesn't suit our personality profile or our dreams.

I know for a fact that there are aspects of Christianity that make plenty of extroverts feel like God isn't pleased with them, like they're not living up to His standards. But the point is that none of us can meet them all. That's why we need Jesus--because we are weak, imperfect people who can't do it on our own. (In fact, the only people Jesus said he didn't come for were the self-righteous, who think they can please God in their own strength.) As my husband likes to say, we don't need a crutch; we need a stretcher! It's also why we need the church--we need the strength of our brothers and sisters to help our weaknesses and they need us for the same reason.

And this is where God gets the glory: when he takes weak, sinful, needy people, gives them Jesus' record of perfection--whereby we also gain his eternal pleasure and affirmation--and puts all our different personalities, giftings, backgrounds and, yes, weaknesses together in one body called the Church, and then shows the power of his Spirit when he works through these same people to transform the world. It's not about me and my temperament needs. It's about him and his glory. So come in, all you introverts! Join us, all you extroverts! Follow Jesus, all you men, women, boys and girls! And bring them in from the four corners of the earth!

"Here there is not Greek and Jew, circumcised and uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave, free [introvert, extrovert]; but Christ is all, and in all." (Colossians 3:11)


A couple questions to consider:
-Are there things we do in our churches that unnecessarily cause certain kinds of people discomfort? Is there a more accommodating way we could accomplish the same goal? Are we showing appreciation for the quieter servants among us?

-Are there things that God has asked us to do that I am avoiding because it doesn't suit my "natural inclinations" or temperament?

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Notes:
1) As described by Cain, I think Adam McHugh comes across as fairly negative toward the Church and its expectations of introverts. However, in his own personal writings, he is much more balanced, and offers both critique of the church's dealings with introverts AND honest, helpful encouragement to introverts who need to grow in the way they function in the church community.

2) The whole discussion of introverts and extroverts is unfortunately based largely on stereotypes. I'd like to explore this a little more in another post, but for the time being, when I use the terms "introvert" and "extrovert", I'm using them according to standard (western) cultural usage. You may or may not fit the stereotype.