From the Archives: Legal Inconsistencies

While I'm on the subject of abortion, here's one from the archives from when we lived in Kentucky. The law in Ontario is the same, though:

Legal Inconsistencies

(from October 2005)

Yes, I know it's Saturday, but I thought I'd be a little unpredictable and post something today. I was doing a little research yesterday as I'm working on getting our wills together, and came across this little part of Kentucky's Intestate Succession Law (the rules on who gets your stuff in what order if you don't leave a will or all your named beneficiaries are dead) that caught my attention:

"A child of a decedent, born within 10 months after the decedent's death, is still eligible to inherit from the decedent. For intestate succession purposes, the child is considered to have been alive at the time of the decedent's death."

Did you catch that? If a guy gets his wife pregnant and is killed in a car crash that very night (the child then being born 9 months after his death, within the 10 month limitation), estate law says the child was alive and his heir at the time of his death (read: at the time of the child's conception). Hmmm... sounds like that newly conceived embryo is human after all. How then do we go about making a law that it's fine to murder said human? Do I sense a little inconsistency here? (And if any pro-abortion person found out they had been the child in such circumstances, wouldn't they want to collect that inheritance?)

Mercy, Sacrifice, Truth and the Abortion Debate

"But you must remember, beloved, the predictions of the apostles of our Lord Jesus Christ. They said to you, 'In the last time there will be scoffers, following their own ungodly passions.' It is these who cause divisions, worldly people, devoid of the Spirit. But you, beloved, building yourselves up in your most holy faith and praying in the Holy Spirit, keep yourselves in the love of God, waiting for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ that leads to eternal life. And have mercy on those who doubt;  save others by snatching them out of the fire; to others show mercy with fear, hating even the garment stained by the flesh." (Jude 17-23)


Yesterday, the Canadian parliament defeated a private member motion asking for a committee that would reexamine the current Criminal Code definition of "human being", which presently states that one is only a human being once they have fully exited the mother's body (in a living state, no less). Arguing that this definition, which is based on a 400-year-old British law, is no longer in line with modern medical and scientific knowledge, MP (similar to House Rep) Stephen Woodworth laid out Motion 312 last spring, and it came to a vote last night. Unfortunately, slightly more than two-thirds of Parliament are not interested in even being open to the fact that the definition might be wrong, and attempted to shut down the abortion debate in Canada by voting against this needed study (yes, those do exist!) However, the debate is far from over... it is encouraging that just shy of a third of our MPs do support such an examination, including the Status of Women minister (who is now receiving a lot of flack from pro-abortion activists who view her vote as a "slap in the face to the women of Canada"), the House leader (who happens to be our MP) and a few other cabinet ministers. As well, another motion was put forward yesterday asking Parliament to condemn sex-selective abortions (Motion 408--keep an eye on it). Even if the first motion was defeated, it seems to have mobilized the pro-life base in Canada to a greater extent than I've seen before. I am hopeful (and prayerful) that these are the first little birthing pains in Canadian legislation to grant the right of life to all Canadian infants, regardless of their gender, mental or physical ability, developmental stage or convenience.

As this has all been going down, I've been doing quite a bit of thinking about abortion, those who defend it, and those who rightly see it as the murder of an innocent human being. And I've been a little disturbed to see some of the same sinful roots of abortion lurking in my own flesh--lack of mercy, love of self and suppression of the truth. Now before I fill in these points, please hear what I'm not saying. I am NOT blaming the non-passage of this motion on anyone other than those who actively seek to defend murder. We pro-lifers are not perfect; we share some of the same sin struggles, but we are not to blame for the continuation of this evil. I am also NOT advocating moral equivalency here. Even though Jesus says that if you hate your brother you have murdered him in your heart, a hateful thought and actual, physical murder are still two very different things! Both are enough to separate you from a holy God forever, apart from the grace of that same Jesus, but murder is clearly recognized in the Bible as being more hateful to God as calling your brother a bad name (one deserves death in the Old Testament, the other a sincere apology). And finally, I am NOT saying that if you find these same sins in your own flesh, you should pile onto your shoulders the full weight of condemnation and go away depressed, thinking yourself just as bad and dead and without hope as the most hardened of criminals. Conviction of sin, yes. But if you are in Christ, there is no longer any condemnation for you, and these thoughts should be seen as just a little push toward greater Christlikeness. That's how I am viewing them. The Father of Lies left me for dead, but I've been rescued by God and mercifully adopted into His family, so that now I want to be more and more pleasing to my heavenly Father, even while I already have His full approval in Christ. So when I see sin, no matter how small, I want to root it out. All that said, here are three areas where I see my own propensity to sin:

Unextended Mercy 
One of the arguments that abortion proponents use against pro-lifers is that they are only pro-life to a point. They convince a woman that she shouldn't murder her child, but that's where they stop. They get an affirmation for life and promptly abandon the woman. They save the child and hang the mother out to dry. Now the rare militant "pro-lifer" (though I wouldn't call them pro-life) has been known to exist, but I've never met one.  I do, however, personally know several people who have not only rescued an infant from death, but have opened their homes, their wallets, their hearts and their souls to the baby's mother. I've known families who have given up their comfort to provide a place in their own home for a near stranger to live, caring for her for 9 months, providing for her needs, and caring for both her and her child after the birth. I know multiple families who have taken in orphans and the fatherless, at great cost to their own resources (both financial and emotional). Just this week, some friends joyfully brought home two international orphans to add to the three local children they've already adopted. These are just ordinary people, but in the Spirit's power they are doing extraordinary things to bring homes, care and hope to the lonely, the abandoned, the broken.

So my question for myself is this: which category do I fit into? Do I only care about the helpless baby or am I full of mercy for the woman in crisis as well? I mean, pregnancy is a bit of a crisis even when you were hoping and expecting that you would have that child. Pregnancy is NEVER a convenience (though it can bring great blessing). Add to the normal inconvenience the fact that you didn't want to be pregnant and may not have any support system--may, in fact, have an extremely unsupportive environment, or that you've been told that your infant will suffer from life-long disabilities that will require incredible amounts of work on your part, and you need MERCY! But if a woman came to me and confessed that she was considering aborting her child, would I respond with grace? Would she see the judgement in my eyes before I even opened my mouth to plead mercy for her child? Would I be willing to give up my own convenience and comfort to commit to months and years of being her support? Would I be willing to love her even if she went ahead with the abortion? Do I love people that much? Do I love my God, and His image in all humans that much? Lord, may I not cling to my own "rights" so much that I fail to truly care for the widow and the orphan!

Disproportionately Desired Freedom
Abortion is an extreme example of a parent being so consumed with their own life and freedom that they fail to allow another human being to interfere with it. Children change lifestyles and create havoc and uncertainty. The surest way to avoid such change and chaos is to not have them, even at the cost of doing away with them before they see the light of day. But even for those of us who are fully committed to bearing to term each and every little human that God places in our wombs, we regularly confront the temptation to pursue our own freedom and desires at cost to our little ones. How often am I impatient with my children because their schoolwork is beginning to eat into my "me-time"? How often do I grumble about the mountains of laundry that I have to do when I'd rather be sleeping? How often do I mentally shut the kids out because my book is really interesting (and this is the one time this week I might have time to read it!)? How often do I give in to thinking of all the things I could buy if I didn't have to put money into their clothes and food? How often do I yell at them in anger because they've embarrassed me in public? Yes, I let them live, but am I willing to be poured out in service that they might be built up? Last week, I was having a particularly difficult time joyfully serving my kids when I wanted to be doing other (less-important) things, and then I read this verse: "But I do not account my life of any value nor as precious to myself, if only I may finish my course and the ministry that I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God." (Acts 20:24) Am I so committed to the advance of the gospel of God's grace in my home (and elsewhere), that I don't count my life as precious to myself? Now I repeat my caution here: as Kevin DeYoung puts it in his new book The Hole in Our Holiness(which is really good!), "Judging from the Lord's outrage [in the OT], sacrificing your children to Molech was probably worse than losing your patience with them." Abortion and mild impatience are not the same thing. Nor do I think pouring yourself out for your children means that you serve them hand and foot 24/7, never take a break and bow at their every command (not in the least!). But I am so often unwilling to really care for them when I'd rather be doing something else. Lord, grow me in selfless love for those you've put into my care!


Truth Burial
The defeat of Motion 312 is a stunning example of Romans 1:18. It is an active suppression of the truth to refuse to even examine whether that "thing" in a woman's womb might possibly be human 2 seconds before it is born. Current medical and scientific knowledge clearly point to the fact that a human fetus is, in fact, human from the very earliest stages of development. Some of those who called for the defeat of this motion even publicly stated this to be true. But they do not want this knowledge to affect our laws, because that would mean that abortion is the killing of a human, and thus immoral and illegal. It is perhaps ironic that when it came to redefining marriage, the Canadian parliament was all for it (because a change in the definition would bring about a legal result they desired), but now that a new definition for human beings would affect the law in a way that many MPs are afraid of, they are unwilling to even discuss whether the current definition might be wrong. They are guilty of bending and twisting the law to their own ends, and this is deplorable. 

But as I discussed this with our kids the other day, it occurred to me how often we bend the law to justify our own actions. No, we don't do it to condone murder or gross sexual immorality, but have you ever fudged the truth just a little so you didn't look bad, and convinced your conscience that it wasn't really a lie? How tempting it is when watching an entertaining movie that grates just a little on my conscience to make up a list of reasons why I shouldn't turn it off! How frequently my pride causes me to refuse to serve in unpleasant ways by convincing me that I'm not well-suited to the task! Lord, may I not sear my conscience by suppressing even little truths to suit my own sinful purposes!

I want to fight the desires of my flesh even in these "small" things, being at the same time thankful for the grace given me to gather the courage to call my MP and the prime minister this week (I don't like phoning people I don't know, much less elected officials), and the grace to pray more consistently for the changing of hearts and laws in our nation. May we all grow in the delight of living to the pleasure of our Heavenly Father, and may He grant us the Spirit's power to do so!

 

"Now to him who is able to keep you from stumbling and to present you blameless before the presence of his glory with great joy, to the only God, our Savior, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, dominion, and authority, before all time and now and forever. Amen." (Jude 24-25)

Birthday Praise

On Saturday, my youngest daughter turned 2. Amidst the birthday celebrations and the wondering where the time went (!), I've also been thinking about the circumstances that followed her birth.

She was born happy and healthy following a relatively quick and uneventful labour (despite the fact that I was a full 2 weeks overdue). For the first week and a half, recovery was as expected, she was growing, and we were adjusting to dealing with 4 kids (actually, I think I still am!). 10 days after she was born, we had the privilege of attending the wedding of a young couple from our church, one that we'd been anticipating for quite a while. We got everyone dressed in their wedding best, including the baby, and headed off for a day of rejoicing. Everyone stayed quiet for the ceremony (not a small feat), and we were enjoying the post-wedding festivities, when all of a sudden, with no real warning, I suddenly began haemorrhaging. Halfway through the reception, we landed in the ER. Not exactly the way I had planned to spend the day (or the next few days, either). We were in tailspin mode. But while I was in the hospital recovering, in the midst of my weakness and anxiety, I spent some time making a list of all the reasons I had to be thankful in these circumstances, and found that my heart was quickly turned from anxiety to praise. I recently came across this list, and thought that in honour of my daughter's birthday, I'd post it here to publicly thank the Lord for His mercies toward us, both in the circumstances and in the people He positioned to serve us. This is verbatim, with the exception of a couple explanatory notes in italics which I've added.

Things To Be Thankful For in the Present "Crisis"

• that we are not directly financially responsible for all the tests and hospital stay, or for all the hospital visits, surgeries and testing of the past 2 years (Remember this when things are not so expedient as we would like!)
• that Nathan is now working for an understanding and flexible boss (no need for doctor's notes or the like)... when I had a few miscarriages prior to this pregnancy, a former boss had insinuating that Nathan was lying about it to get out of a day's work
• that Ruth is allowed to stay with me so that I can continue breastfeeding without hassle
• that Ruth is staying so calm and sleeping so much in the midst of the upheaval
• that our church family has been so quick to respond with help, both last night--though for some it meant missing part of a long-anticipated wedding celebration--and with childcare all day today and tomorrow if necessary (Joanne Kerr, Dale Belvedere, Colombe Graham, Lydia Ninaber, among others)
• that our kids were able to attend church this morning even though we weren't, and that God is sustaining us even though we have been unable to attend for several weeks now
• that the haemorrhaging began halfway through the reception rather than earlier in the day, so that we could at least enjoy the ceremony, some fellowship afterwards, and half the reception
• that there was a postpartum nurse at the reception who was quick to help
• that our church family has been quick to pray for us
• that God has sustained and grown our marriage in sickness and in health (as well as for richer and for poorer and in joy and in sorrow!)
• that triage was quiet last night so we could get an ER bed quickly, even if we had a wait a while for the doctor
• that we did not have to spend the whole night in emerg, but were able to get a room, and even a room to ourselves where Nathan had a hospital bed to sleep on
• that the ultrasound gave a conclusive result of retained placenta, so that treatment could start and other possible options be ruled out
• that Nathan thought to grab my wedding favour so that I could enjoy a tasty treat today
• that the nurses and doctors have been so kind and cheerful (without singing loud songs in the morning!)
• that the OBGYN on call today was the same one who delivered Ruth, so that I am being cared for by someone familiar
• that when I passed out last night, there was a nurse, rather than the hard floor, to catch me... on a previous trip to the ER, it WAS the hard floor
• that we can enjoy laughter in the midst of difficulty
• that God has kept me content and free of anxiety in a scary situation
• that my bleeding is under control, even if the cause has not yet been cured
• that my haemoglobin count had risen so high by the end of the pregnancy that it was able to drop 30 points in 12 hours and still be within reasonable range, and thus a blood transfusion is avoided (had it remained low like it was in June and July, I would have been in trouble!)
• that iron supplements (and all other necessary medical treatments) are even available to me
• that I can get up and move around without dizziness or pain, despite the large blood loss
• that all the bleeding, passing out, testing, bloodwork, waiting, even potential surgery, are the aftermath of the birth of a healthy baby, rather than the result of a fruitless pregnancy
• that the continued anguish of "labour pains", even as I stare at our beautiful baby girl, are a vivid reminder not only of the curse of sin, but of the hope of a glorious new birth to come, that will be the end of our earthly labour pains!

"Great and amazing are your deeds, 

     O LORD God the Almighty!

Just and true are your ways, 

     O King of the nations!

Who will not fear, O Lord, 

     and glorify your name?

For you alone are holy.

    All nations will come and worship you, 

for your righteous acts have been revealed."

Revelation 15:3-4

And happy birthday, Ruthie!

Lessons From the Laundry Recap

Just for future convenience, here are this week's posts all rolled into one:

This is the song that never ends. It just goes on and on, my friends... Okay, now that I've got that earworm stuck in your head (you can thank me later!), I'm pretty sure that song was really about housework! Unlike many other things I do, housework is the job never done, the job that never even creates true progress. Kids grow up and mature, and the issues and trials you deal with as parents evolve and change. Even though, in the short term, it can feel like you're making no headway, over time the kids turn into adults and your job is largely done. Learning a new skill like cake decorating or playing the piano takes time and effort, but if you work at it, eventually the learning phase is mostly behind you and you have a mastered skill to show for it. But dishes, vacuuming, laundry, ironing, mopping? These are repetitive tasks you do over and over again until you're too old and frail to do them, and even then, they still need to be done by someone. And it's not even as if you make a bed once, and then that one sits there as a monument to your achievement while you go one making other beds. You make that bed only to have it unmade so you can make it again tomorrow. You wash the dishes only to have the very same plate grabbed off the dish rack and covered in food again. You do a load of laundry and before it's even lost its fresh-from-the-dryer warmth, someone has pulled out an outfit and gone and played in the mud.

Now, to be fair, housework does change slightly over time. The day will come when doing the dishes no longer involves trying to get the germ-infested gunk out of the narrow crevices of a sippy cup. And dealing with spit-up stains eventually gives way to dealing with grass stains. But that doesn't offer much hope when you've still got dishes and stains.

I think this is why I find household tasks to be one of the most draining parts of managing the household, more so than parenting, if that's possible :) It's like rolling a heavy rock up a hill, only to have it come rolling back down so you can push it back up again. There's something about working hard at something, all the while knowing that it's all about to be undone, that can easily suck the joy right out of you.

So where is the hope in my housework? When I'm tempted to complain, lash out and/or despair about all the work that keeps getting undone, here are 4 thoughts that help put the joy back into cleaning.

Undone:

Housework reminds me of the futility of the things of this life. "Then I considered all that my hands had done and the toil I had expended in doing it, and behold, all was vanity and a striving after wind, and there was nothing to be gained under the sun." (Eccl. 2:11) That's housework! Yet the Preacher is talking here about things that actually appear to be great achievements (see verses 4-9)! Just like the sweeping that is done only to be done again (parents of toddlers all nod), all of the achievements of man--even the great and noble strides in history--will one day come to an end. Do you know what your great-great-grandparents did on a daily basis? Do you even know their names? In a few generations, it may well be that no one remembers mine either, and even if they do, they probably won't know much at all about me. There is no hope to be had in the things of this life. They are passing away. WE are passing away, just like the grass of the fields: here one day and gone the next. Life is a vapour.

"Wait!" you say. "I thought you were going to help me find JOY in my housework! Now I'm just depressed." But hold on, because I'm getting there. We need to recognize the futility of our life and works, so we don't put our hope in them and make them our idols. If, every time you iron that same shirt AGAIN, you remind yourself that in and of ourselves, all earthly things and works are exactly like that--FUTILE!, it will help keep you from idolatry and push you to find your hope elsewhere. And then what?

Fully Done:

Housework reminds me to rejoice in the finished, completed, never-to-be-undone work of Christ in his perfect life, death and resurrection. The things of this life are futile, and without Christ my works are vain and worse than worthless-damning, even! Nothing I do in this life, whether it's keeping a clean house, or freeing a people Joan-of-Arc style, is enough to earn me God's approval, and without Christ, all my works will be burned up for eternity in the unquenchable fire of God's wrath... Gone and worse than gone. But Christ's daily works and life were so perfect, so sinless, that they were worthy of being on permanent display forever. He lived the only life worth preserving, and he lived it, not only so that he'd be able to take the punishment for my unworthy, futile life and keep me from the fires of hell, emptying the sink of dirty dishes, as it were--though that inspires much praise! He lived that perfect, finished, established life and then gives it to ME as my own record. When God looks at me, He doesn't see all those unfinished dirty dishes in the sink and moan about how He's going to have to wash them up AGAIN. He doesn't even just see an empty sink. When God looks at me, He sees a cupboard full of sparkling white washed-dried-and-neatly-stacked dishware gleaming from every shelf! Oh, if I can only think of this when I see the dirty dishes in my own sink, and instead of complaining, praise the glorious Lamb who gives me his righteousness!

Unseen:

Housework reminds me that even very temporary things can have yet-unseen permanent results. Why do I go on doing the housework, even though it seems so futile? Can you imagine what life would be like for my family if I just decided to quit--no more laundry, no more dishes, never iron another shirt again, and please don't clean that toilet! Sounds heavenly! Except that it would be a disaster. My children would have to wander around in filthy clothes, eating scraps from the garbage on fly-infested plates, while my husband and I tripped our way through the mass of toys, praying we didn't get one of those evil spear-headed Legos underfoot. Keeping the house tidy and well-organized serves my family in numerous ways that are admittedly often unnoticed and taken for granted, but who would want to live in a world without them? In the same way, many of the little things that we do in life, even those that go unnoticed and seem to us to have no visible results, can have a great impact on the lives of others around us, and much of this impact may be of more eternal value than we know. How we serve in the church when nobody sees us, prayers offered on behalf of those we'll never meet on this earth, our tone of voice when we see our 2-year-old dump the box of blocks all over the newly-vacuumed playroom floor... these things have impacts that we're often not aware of. Faithful service is not usually glamourous. Sometimes it involves scrubbing toilets and picking up trash--literally or figuratively. But the unseen effect it has on those around us (and on our own hearts) is well-worth the effort. "So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this slight momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal." (2 Corinthians 4:16-18)

Fully Seen:

Housework reminds me to hope in the future establishment of all things, my work included, in the new heavens and new earth. When I'm picking up a pile of blocks for the 15th time in a day, my soul cries out with the psalmist, "Establish the works of my hands!" (Psalm 90:17) I may not see it now, and I may not see it in 30 years, but the day is coming when that which is unseen will be revealed, and we will all see the permanent results of our labour. Though there will be things done for self that will be burned up, the work that we've done in the name of Christ and to his glory--even work we thought was of little lasting value, like washing the windows--is being built into the permanent temple of God, as an established display of His glory worked through simple, unworthy servants. And when He does away with death and establishes His dwelling with us for all eternity in a new earth, He will glorify Himself by giving us permanent, never-to-be-seen-as-futile-again joyful work in His kingdom. Yes, we are only given one life to life, and it will soon be past, but what is done for Christ WILL last--be it serving the poor or mopping the kitchen floor! "Therefore, my beloved brothers (and sisters), be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labour is not in vain!" (1 Corinthians 15:58)


Maybe it doesn't make ironing any more fun (I'm not sure that even adding a circus could do that!), but if I can use my futile, soon-to-be-redone housework to remind me of these hope-giving, joy-inspiring truths, that pile of ironing and that sink full of dishes will push me on to a lasting delight in God, what He's done for me in Christ, what He is doing with me in this life to bless my family and others around me, and what He will establish through me for His eternal glory. And that's of such lasting value that it's worth doing that laundry one more time just to grasp it!

Fully Seen (Lessons From the Laundry)

We've talked about the futility of this life, the glorious hope of Christ's finished work, and the unseen effects of our labour on others. Now, fourth and finally, we can rejoice in the midst of the tedium of managing our homes because:

Housework reminds me to hope in the future establishment of all things, my work included, in the new heavens and new earth.

When I'm picking up a pile of Duplos for the 15th time in a day, my soul cries out with the psalmist, "Establish the works of my hands!" (Psalm 90:17) I may not see it now, and I may not see it in 30 years, but the day is coming when that which is unseen will be revealed, and we will all see the permanent results of our labour. Though there will be things done for self that will be burned up, the work that we've done in the name of Christ and to his glory--even work we thought was of little lasting value, like washing the windows--is being built into the permanent temple of God, as an established display of His glory worked through simple, unworthy servants. And when He does away with death and establishes His dwelling with us for all eternity in a new earth, He will glorify Himself by giving us permanent, never-to-be-seen-as-futile-again, joyful work in His kingdom. Yes, we are only given one life to life, and it will soon be past, but what is done for Christ WILL last, be it serving the poor or mopping the kitchen floor! "Therefore, my beloved brothers (and sisters), be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labour is not in vain!" (1 Corinthians 15:58)

Maybe it doesn't make ironing any more fun (I'm not sure that even adding a circus could do that!), but if I can use my futile, soon-to-be-redone housework to remind me of these hope-giving, joy-inspiring truths, that pile of ironing and that sink full of dishes will push me on to a lasting delight in God, what He's done for me in Christ, what He is doing with me in this life to bless my family and others around me, and what He will establish through me for His eternal glory. And that's of such lasting value that it's worth doing that laundry one more time just to grasp it!

Unseen (Lessons From the Laundry)

If you're just joining us now, we're talking about the frustration of repetitive housework and how to use it to our hope and joy. If you haven't already read them, I suggest you start with the intro, then Part 1 and Part 2. Otherwise, here's reminder #3 from the laundry pile:

Housework reminds me that even very temporary things can have yet-unseen permanent results.

Why do I go on doing the housework, even though it seems so futile? Can you imagine what life would be like for my family if I just decided to quit--no more laundry, no more dishes, never iron another shirt again, and please don't clean that toilet! Sounds heavenly! Except that it would be a disaster. My children would have to wander around in filthy clothes, eating scraps from the garbage on fly-infested plates, while my husband and I tripped our way through the mass of toys, praying we didn't get one of those evil spear-headed Legos underfoot. Keeping the house tidy and well-organized serves my family in numerous ways that are admittedly often unnoticed and taken for granted, but who would want to live in a world without them? In the same way, many of the little things that we do in life, even those that go unnoticed and seem to us to have no visible results, can have a great impact on the lives of others around us, and much of this impact may be of more eternal value than we know. How we serve in the church when nobody sees us, prayers offered on behalf of those we'll never meet on this earth, our tone of voice when we see our 2-year-old dump the box of blocks all over the newly-vacuumed playroom floor... these things have impacts that we're often not aware of. Faithful service is not usually glamourous. Sometimes it involves scrubbing toilets and picking up trash--literally or figuratively. But the unseen effect it has on those around us (and on our own hearts) is well-worth the effort. "So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this slight momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal." (2 Corinthians 4:16-18)

Fully Done (Lessons From the Laundry)

I didn't leave you in a very hopeful place yesterday, so you'll be glad to know that today we're looking up. Here's the second thing that keeping house can bring to our minds:

Housework reminds me to rejoice in the finished, completed, never-to-be-undone work of Christ in his perfect life, death and resurrection.

The things of this life are futile, and without Christ my works are vain and worse than worthless--damning, even! Nothing I do in this life, whether it's keeping a clean house, or freeing a people Joan-of-Arc style, is enough to earn me God's approval, and without Christ, all my works will be burned up for eternity in the unquenchable fire of God's wrath... Gone and worse than gone. But Christ's daily works and life were so perfect, so sinless, that they were worthy of being on permanent display forever. He lived the only life worth preserving, and he lived it, not only so that he'd be able to take the punishment for my unworthy, futile life and keep me from the fires of hell, emptying the sink of dirty dishes, as it were--though that inspires much praise! He lived that perfect, finished, established life and then gives it to ME as my own record. When God looks at me, He doesn't see all those unfinished dirty dishes in the sink and moan about how He's going to have to wash them up AGAIN. He doesn't even just see an empty sink. When God looks at me, He sees a cupboard full of sparkling white washed-dried-and-neatly-stacked dishware gleaming from every shelf! Oh, if I can only think of this when I see the dirty dishes in my own sink, and instead of complaining, praise the glorious Lamb who gives me his righteousness!

Now that's joy-inspiring! And there's more to come!

Undone (Lessons From the Laundry)

Yesterday I promised to fill you in on some things I'm learning from doing those never-ending repetitive tasks involved in keeping house. Here's the first one:

Housework reminds me of the futility of the things of this life.

"Then I considered all that my hands had done and the toil I had expended in doing it, and behold, all was vanity and a striving after wind, and there was nothing to be gained under the sun." (Eccl. 2:11) That's housework! Yet the Preacher is talking here about things that actually appear to be great achievements (see verses 4-9)! Just like the sweeping that is done only to be done again (parents of toddlers all nod), all of the achievements of man--even the great and noble strides in history--will one day come to an end. Do you know what your great-great-grandparents did on a daily basis? Do you even know their names? In a few generations, it may well be that no one remembers mine either, and even if they do, they probably won't know much at all about me. There is no hope to be had in the things of this life. They are passing away. WE are passing away, just like the grass of the fields: here one day and gone the next. Life is a vapour.

"Wait!" you say. "I thought you were going to help me find JOY in my housework! Now I'm just depressed." But hold on, because I'm getting there. We need to recognize the futility of our life and works, so we don't put our hope in them and make them our idols. If, every time you iron that same shirt AGAIN, you remind yourself that in and of ourselves, all earthly things and works are exactly like that--FUTILE!, it will help keep you from idolatry and push you to find your hope elsewhere. And then what? Tell you tomorrow :)

Lessons From the Laundry

This is the song that never ends. It just goes on and on, my friends... Okay, now that I've got that earworm stuck in your head (you can thank me later!)... this is what housework seems like to me. Unlike many other things I do, housework is the job never done, the job that never even creates true progress. Kids grow up and mature, and the issues and trials you deal with as parents evolve and change. Even though, in the short term, it can feel like you're making no headway, over time the kids turn into adults and your job is largely done. Learning a new skill like cake decorating or playing the piano takes time and effort, but if you work at it, eventually the learning phase is mostly behind you and you have a mastered skill to show for it. But dishes, vacuuming, laundry, ironing, mopping? These are repetitive tasks you do over and over again until you're too old and frail to do them, and even then, they still need to be done by someone. And it's not even as if you make a bed once, and then that one sits there as a monument to your achievement while you go one making other beds. You make that bed only to have it unmade so you can make it again tomorrow. You wash the dishes only to have the very same plate grabbed off the dish rack and covered in food again. You do a load of laundry and before it's even lost its fresh-from-the-dryer warmth, someone has pulled out an outfit and gone and played in the mud.

Now, to be fair, housework does change slightly over time. The day will come when doing the dishes no longer involves trying to get the germ-infested gunk out of the narrow crevices of a sippy cup. And dealing with spit-up stains eventually gives way to dealing with grass stains. But that doesn't offer much hope when you've still got dishes and stains.

I think this is why I find household tasks to be one of the most draining parts of managing the household, often more so than parenting, if that's possible :) It's like rolling a heavy rock up a hill, only to have it come rolling back down so you can push it back up again. There's something about working hard at something, all the while knowing that it's all about to be undone, that can easily suck the joy right out of you.

So where is the hope in my housework? When I'm tempted to complain, lash out and/or despair about all the work that keeps getting undone, I have some thoughts that help put the joy back into cleaning. But to keep them in bite-sized chunks, I'll share them with you over the next 4 days!

I Am What I Am

I've spent much of my life trying to live up to my own standard of who and what I want to be, and who and what I think I should be. Whether it was trying to get twiggy legs as a teenager (a physical impossibility for my body type) or trying to mimic the writing style of my favourite authors or stressing myself out by keeping house in the most idealistic way possible because that's how I've always envisioned it or trying to match my expectations of house rules for the kids to what others around me consider acceptable for their homes, I have taken up a lot of time, thought and effort with striving to fit a mold.

But all that leads to is frustration and stress. Trying to fit myself into a predefined earthly mold--my own or my friends' or my society's--requires bending and twisting and crushing. It often requires me to be something I'm not, and places on my back the heavy burden of conformance to legalistic, man-made standards I'm not meant to carry.

And so it has introduced great freedom into my life to begin to realize that the only mold I'm meant to fit is God's, and that while He has a common mold for all human beings as far as standards of righteousness go, within that mold He has fashioned a unique shape for each and every individual person in determining gifts, abilities, limitations, culture, family background, styles and aesthetic preferences. There's that saying we sometimes use to describe unique people--"They broke the mold when they made you." But actually, it's true of each of us, and something to rejoice in. Our unique personalities reflect the diversity and creativity of our God, and together they contribute to a beautiful symphony, each instrument playing its unique but complementary part.

I'm not talking here about justifying actual sin by saying, "That's just the way I am!" I'm not talking about refusing to seek growth in skills and understanding, or about not trying new things. I'm not referring to an individualism that avoids making peace with others by compromising on mere preferences and instead upholds its own personal ideals as the objective standard of all. It's not about being non-conformist for the sole purpose of bucking the status quo. Nor is this an excuse to keep from serving in ways that are necessary, but somewhat unpleasant to me.

I'm just saying that I am who God has made me to be, and I can't change that, nor should I. Within the boundaries of God's holy standards, I am free to be me, to enjoy the things that I enjoy, to operate according to my own styles and methods, without worrying about earning a certain status or respectability in the eyes of mortal man. I don't need to be the uber-blogger: that woman who manages witty and helpful daily posts for her international readership while holding down the fort at home with her 6 children (though I should strive to write as best as I can). I don't need to be the woman who decorates her home like a magazine picture, whose quiet, extremely tidy children are making their own clothes by the time they are 5 (my kids are fun and loud and Nathan is a better decorator than I am). I don't need to like art galleries (though I can joyfully go to one if it brings pleasure to friends and loved ones), or peanut butter and jelly sandwiches (though I'll eat one without complaint if that's what I'm served). To be honest, my coolness factor and ability to balance a lot of plates are quite a bit lower than what I'd like to think. But that's okay. I am what I am. And by the grace of God, I'll continue to be what He made me to be.

Nathan and I were thinking about this the other night when we went out for a date. After we walked around the mall a bit, spending a little time in Toys R Us, we went to a local pub for dinner, and then took a trip to Superstore in search of some Hagen Daas to round off the evening, but ended up finding some deals and taking care of some Christmas shopping as well. While we were heading to the toy department, having a fun, relaxing time together, Nathan turned to me and said, "Is this sort of lame for a date?" He was thinking of what society has labeled a romantic evening. But we both agreed that even if our date night had taken us Christmas shopping in a big box store, we were enjoying each other, being unashamedly ourselves with each other, and having a great time. In fact, it's not the first time we've done that sort of date. We seem to find ourselves there regularly. And that's okay. If that's what facilitates conversation, allows us to be relaxed, and is our idea of a good time, then it won't be the last time, either. There's no verse in the Bible that says, "And when you date the wife of thy youth, you shall spend the fruits of thy labour upon good foods and drink, with offerings of the flowers of the fields on thy arms. And you shall then procede to a house of fine films and partake in that most pleasant digression" (KJV). Nor does it say, "The only acceptable date is a thrifty coffee and a heart-to-heart conversation" (NLT). Neither will you find, "Pizza and a boardgame at home is where it's at" (The Message). There are no biblical prescriptions for how often or how long dates should be. In fact, the word "date" does not occur in the Bible (unless it refers to the calendar-variety). If Jim and Michelle bond by going to the symphony, that's a good date night for them. If Dave and Amy enjoy each other's company most when they're sitting in an ice cream parlour, they might be fat and happy, but at least they'll be happily married :) We like to eat and wander. That doesn't mean we never branch out and try something different. It just means we don't have to feel like our dates are lame or unacceptable if they don't look like anyone else's. We're free to be Nathan and Sarah, the people and couple God has made us to be. And that's freeing!

This has all kinds of implications for all areas of life, both for us personally (how I manage the home, the parenting methods we employ--our kids are unique individuals, too!, schooling options, what we do with our free time and money, etc.) It also has implications for how I treat others, because they are free to be who God has made them to be as much as I am, and they don't have to fit into my idea of a good mold in order for me to love them, serve them, befriend them or share Christ with them.

Our ultimate identity is not in what we like or dislike, how much we are able to handle in a day without bursting into tears, whether or not we think public school is a good place to send our kids, or how many idiosyncrasies we have. Our ultimate identity is in Christ, and in Christ, I am free to stop striving for man's approval, and joyfully be the Sarah Fullerton God created.

Off the Grid/On the Bookshelf

Well, it's been back-to-school week here after a nice long weekend up at the cottage. We had a great time hanging out with an old friend of mine and her new husband (and the kids thoroughly enjoyed playing with her daughter), and also getting to know a few members of my brother-in-law-to-be's upcoming wedding party. There were about 20 people up there on Saturday (thankful for a larger space and great weather!) and various somewhat smaller amounts on Friday and Sunday, which was a lot of fun, but not exactly the best environment for burying yourself in a book (unless you're an introvert like me, in which case, you at least try to steal a few quiet minutes in a corner by yourself with your nose in a good read)! I can't complain: it was great to have some deep and very encouraging conversations, eat some tasty food, spend time oscillating between cool swims and the warm sunshine of the dock or deck and--as often happens--come home more tired than when I left :)

In the calmer, less-populated hours of the weekend, I did manage to dig into a couple books. Here's what has been on my nightstand (or in my suitcase) over the last few weeks:

Acts: Having finished Genesis, I started reading through Acts, mainly for the purpose of reading through the many sermons there and seeing how the apostles connected the stories and people of the Old Testament (some of whom I'd just read about) to the gospel of Jesus Christ in the New Testament. Of course, I'm also thinking about the early church and God's activity there. Perhaps more on that later, if I can clear out my blogging backlog!

Rescuing Ambition by Dave Harvey: Is ambition a bad word in your mind? Or do you spend a lot of time pursuing your own ends (whatever they may be)? Do you ever struggle with your own mixed motives in the things you do? My answer to all of those questions was "yes", so I figured it would be a good idea to read this book that's been sitting around our house for a year or so. And I was right--this very readable, often humorous and very insightful book works its way through defining sinful ambition, godly ambition, the risks and rewards involved in ambition, what to do when ambition fails, how to be ambitious for your local church and a few other relevant topics, all with practical illustrations and in a gospel-centred manner. I feel like I've come away with at least the head knowledge to better discern between self-centred and God-centred ambition in my own life, and with a greater desire to be willing to risk whatever necessary to see God's glory spread in my home, my local area and across the world. I highly recommend this one!

The Heart of Anger: Practical Help for the Prevention and Cure of Anger in Childrenby Lou Priolo: I'm not terribly far into this Biblical-counseling book on how to deal with angry children (and their parents!), but it's already been a great help in seeing areas in my parenting where I've been wrong and/or need to grow, and given me some ideas of how to help and instruct my angry child(ren). This book is intensely practical, easy to understand, and contains a lot of wisdom on growing in godly relationships. This book deals very frankly with parental sin and children's sin, and seeks to facilitate specific growth and change. It is also very clear that these changes are only possible (but in fact, ARE possible) by God's grace. A friend with a similarly-temperamented child recommended this book to me years ago, and I wish I'd heeded her recommendation and read it sooner. At any rate, I am reading it now, and so far, would readily recommend it to anyone concerned about their, or their children's, anger.

Deadlineby Randy Alcorn: Yes, I'm reading the first book of Alcorn's trilogy after I read the third one. They are not so heavily connected that you need to read them in order, and I had the other one before I got this one. The storyline of this murder mystery is very interesting, and I'm pretty gripped. The book is about a journalist investigating the murder of his friends, one of whom was something of an abortion-promoting doctor (but did the pro-lifers do it??), and there are several moving sections in it about the ravages of abortion, as well as hope for those who've been involved in abortions. It also deals with the issue of journalistic integrity. I will be honest: there are a few short sections that I've found a bit, well, tedious, for lack of a better word. One of the subplots of the book is the other friend's experience in heaven, and there are sections in which he is instructed on life in heaven by his angelic guardian. Some of these (especially earlier on in the book) seem to me to be a bit too didactic and slow-paced for the murder mystery genre. Also, having read several other Alcorn books, including his non-fiction Heaven (which I recommend), the heavenly sections here are often repeats of similar things in the other books. I personally thought the writing in Deception (with its more sporadic, less speculative heavenly scenes) flowed better than in this book, and kept the suspense up to a page-turner level. Just being honest! But on the whole, it's a very good book, it fills in some of the back stories of characters from Deception, and if you're not familiar with Alcorn's writings on heaven, you may find quite a bit here to think about--it's not just white robes, harps and sitting endlessly on the clouds :)

Charlie And The Chocolate Factory Cd (Unabridged)by Roald Dahl: Okay, I haven't read this one recently. But we DID listen to it on audiobook on the way to and from the cottage. Dahl can be a little cynical and the parents in his books are often nitwits, which may not have the best influence on impressionable grade-schoolers who are already tempted to think their parents aren't quite with it. But in this book, gluttony, greed, laziness and bad manners are shown to be the destructive things that they are, whether practiced by children or adults, and the humble, generous child and his family get the final rewards (oops... retroactive spoiler alert if you didn't already read this as a kid!). Some moral lessons worth discussing with the kids include the negative appearance and effects of disrespectful behaviour and disdain for authority. Also, Dahl's caricatures and dry wit are hilarious, and while our older two kids love this book, it was Nathan and I who laughed out loud more often than they did.

Now that we're back in school mode, I anticipate that the majority of my reading will be school-related, and of little interest to the general public. But I am hoping to dig into the two commentaries on Exodus that just arrived in the mail today, as well as The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God, The Hole in Our Holiness: Filling the Gap between Gospel Passion and the Pursuit of Godlinessand           Dominionin the coming months. Stay tuned.