Hope and Help For the Trials of Motherhood: Part 1

A Mother's Submission

"Likewise, you who are younger, be subject to the elders. Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for 'God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble'.” (1 Peter 5:5)

Several years ago, when I had 3 small children, there were several occasions when men from our church leadership would lovingly point out concern over the rather chaotic nature of our children and our family life, and offer suggestions for how to better lead and care for them. And each time, I would hear them and smile and go on my merry way, thinking, "If your wife tells me the same thing, I might listen. But YOU don't understand how hard it is!" And though it is now several years later, and I'm learning to listen, I'm still growing in humble submission to my leaders.

Peter's first instruction to the church in 1 Peter 5:5 is for the younger* to submit themselves to the elders. Although young people elsewhere in Scripture are commanded to listen to the wisdom of those older than them, in this passage, the word translated "elder"** is the same word used in the first 4 verses of 1 Peter 5, a word referring to the leadership of the church. Since that is the immediate context of this passage, I would argue (and several commentators agree) that Peter is here specifically referring to submission to the leadership of the church. 

So if we are to be submissive to the elders, the first question of importance would be "Do you have elders (or leaders by another name) to whom you can submit?" If you are not a member of a local church, the answer is "no". And as a mother (or believer in general), if you don't have elders to submit to, you are missing out on a very important means of grace for living the Christian life. You can learn a lot by reading your Bible and praying on your own (and we mothers need to feed ourselves spiritually on a very regular basis, even if our feeding can't involve long periods of silence and meditation), but you will not grow well if you don't have godly leaders to follow. You need Biblical teaching from those gifted by the Spirit for the proclamation of God's Word. You need to be led by earthly shepherds so that someone other than you is caring for your soul in practical ways. And you need to care for and be cared for by the other members of the church (more on that next time).

But let's assume that most of you are part of a local church, and agree that it's good to be led by godly leadership. My question for you (and for myself) is: Do you submit to the leaders you have? Are you listening to their teaching, their wisdom, their advice? I mean really LISTENING. Of course, we want to be familiar enough with our Bibles that we can weigh what is taught in church against the teaching of the Word, and make sure that truth is being taught as best we're able. But too often, our temptation is to agree with the pastor on the things we had already decided were true in our own minds, and disregard or gripe about areas we don't agree with, without even giving proper thought as to whether we might be wrong. If you have a leader you believe to be godly, and who is leading you by the principles laid out in 1 Peter 5:2-3, let him speak into your life and seriously consider and pray about what he tells you. And don't stop there! Seek to apply it, too!

I think, as mothers, a common area where we run into temptation is to put ourselves above our pastor is in the whole area of child rearing, just as I was doing in all those conversations I mentioned earlier. We can often hear sermons on mothering, or be given counsel on our parenting, and our first thought about things that prick or convict us is to think, "He's never been a mother. He doesn't really know what it's like. I am a mother, and I know better."  

But God has given us not only the counsel of other mothers, but the wise and Spirit-filled counsel of our leaders, women AND men, to help us see things we might not otherwise have seen, and thereby, to help us grow. And we need to keep in mind that the average pastor has observed and counseled many mothers over the years, and even though he's never been one, he's unlikely to be clueless about the breed. And if we're honest about ourselves, there are MANY times when we feel like WE have no clue about how to be a mother. So we shouldn't just rely on other moms; we need a high regard for the wise teaching of our pastors and other leaders, even though they have never been precisely in our shoes (more on that later, too!) God speaks through the men he ordains, and though they are not infallible, they ARE given the responsibility of caring for our souls, and those of our children, too. And God gives them the grace to do it! So next time your pastor (or husband, for that matter, who is also not a mother, but to whom you are also called to submit) gives you counsel or teaching on your mothering, swallow your pride, pray to be clothed in humility and accept the grace of godly leadership for your daily life. You may find, as I have when I've taken the time to listen, that some very wise and helpful counsel comes to your life as a mother from the leaders God has placed over you.

*A few translations (such as the NIV) have "young men" instead of "younger" or "young people". The Greek uses a masculine adjective, but no noun for "men". While this could still mean "young men", the following context is to the entire church, so I read this as referring to both men and women (the masculine is often used in case where both men and women are involved). Even if I (among others) am wrong, the application can easily be drawn from other scriptures.  

**Also, I promise not to be too technical. My knowledge of Biblical Greek is rudimentary at best, so I rely heavily on commentators, and I know many people don't care too much about the original languages. But there will be a couple cases where the original words are disputed, but important for proper interpretation... And actually, for this passage, I think this is the last time:)