“The great thing, if one can, is to stop regarding all the unpleasant things as interruptions of one’s ‘own’ or ‘real’ life. The truth is, of course, that what one calls the interruptions are precisely one’s real life – the life God is sending one day by day; what one calls one’s ‘real life’ is a phantom of one’s own imagination. This is at least what I see at moments of insight: but it’s hard to remember it all the time."
-C.S. Lewis (via Joanne Kerr's blog)
"This is the soul's worship, to subject itself thus to God. You who often will worship God by hearing, and praying, and receiving sacraments, and yet afterwards will be froward [contrary or in a bad mood] and discontented -- know that God does not regard such worship, he will have the soul's worship, in this subjecting of the soul unto God. Note this, I beseech you: in active obedience we worship God by doing what pleases God, but by passive obedience we do as well worship God by being pleased with what God does."
-Jeremiah Burroughs
Friday, March 30, 2012
Thursday, March 29, 2012
A Prayer for Contentment
I recommend memorizing this Psalm, so it's available for your prayers whether you have your Bible with you or not. It's one of my go-to Psalms for trials and temptations to be discontent.
Psalm 103
English Standard Version (ESV)
Of David.
103 Bless the Lord, O my soul,
and all that is within me,
bless his holy name!
2 Bless the Lord, O my soul,
and forget not all his benefits,
3 who forgives all your iniquity,
who heals all your diseases,
4 who redeems your life from the pit,
who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy,
5 who satisfies you with good
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.
6 The Lord works righteousness
and justice for all who are oppressed.
7 He made known his ways to Moses,
his acts to the people of Israel.
8 The Lord is merciful and gracious,
slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.
9 He will not always chide,
nor will he keep his anger forever.
10 He does not deal with us according to our sins,
nor repay us according to our iniquities.
11 For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him;
12 as far as the east is from the west,
so far does he remove our transgressions from us.
13 As a father shows compassion to his children,
so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him.
14 For he knows our frame;
he remembers that we are dust.
15 As for man, his days are like grass;
he flourishes like a flower of the field;
16 for the wind passes over it, and it is gone,
and its place knows it no more.
17 But the steadfast love of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear him,
and his righteousness to children's children,
18 to those who keep his covenant
and remember to do his commandments.
19 The Lord has established his throne in the heavens,
and his kingdom rules over all.
20 Bless the Lord, O you his angels,
you mighty ones who do his word,
obeying the voice of his word!
21 Bless the Lord, all his hosts,
his ministers, who do his will!
22 Bless the Lord, all his works,
in all places of his dominion.
Bless the Lord, O my soul!
Psalm 103
English Standard Version (ESV)
Of David.
103 Bless the Lord, O my soul,
and all that is within me,
bless his holy name!
2 Bless the Lord, O my soul,
and forget not all his benefits,
3 who forgives all your iniquity,
who heals all your diseases,
4 who redeems your life from the pit,
who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy,
5 who satisfies you with good
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.
and all that is within me,
bless his holy name!
2 Bless the Lord, O my soul,
and forget not all his benefits,
3 who forgives all your iniquity,
who heals all your diseases,
4 who redeems your life from the pit,
who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy,
5 who satisfies you with good
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.
6 The Lord works righteousness
and justice for all who are oppressed.
7 He made known his ways to Moses,
his acts to the people of Israel.
8 The Lord is merciful and gracious,
slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.
9 He will not always chide,
nor will he keep his anger forever.
10 He does not deal with us according to our sins,
nor repay us according to our iniquities.
11 For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him;
12 as far as the east is from the west,
so far does he remove our transgressions from us.
13 As a father shows compassion to his children,
so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him.
14 For he knows our frame;
he remembers that we are dust.
and justice for all who are oppressed.
7 He made known his ways to Moses,
his acts to the people of Israel.
8 The Lord is merciful and gracious,
slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.
9 He will not always chide,
nor will he keep his anger forever.
10 He does not deal with us according to our sins,
nor repay us according to our iniquities.
11 For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him;
12 as far as the east is from the west,
so far does he remove our transgressions from us.
13 As a father shows compassion to his children,
so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him.
14 For he knows our frame;
he remembers that we are dust.
15 As for man, his days are like grass;
he flourishes like a flower of the field;
16 for the wind passes over it, and it is gone,
and its place knows it no more.
17 But the steadfast love of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear him,
and his righteousness to children's children,
18 to those who keep his covenant
and remember to do his commandments.
19 The Lord has established his throne in the heavens,
and his kingdom rules over all.
he flourishes like a flower of the field;
16 for the wind passes over it, and it is gone,
and its place knows it no more.
17 But the steadfast love of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear him,
and his righteousness to children's children,
18 to those who keep his covenant
and remember to do his commandments.
19 The Lord has established his throne in the heavens,
and his kingdom rules over all.
20 Bless the Lord, O you his angels,
you mighty ones who do his word,
obeying the voice of his word!
21 Bless the Lord, all his hosts,
his ministers, who do his will!
22 Bless the Lord, all his works,
in all places of his dominion.
Bless the Lord, O my soul!
you mighty ones who do his word,
obeying the voice of his word!
21 Bless the Lord, all his hosts,
his ministers, who do his will!
22 Bless the Lord, all his works,
in all places of his dominion.
Bless the Lord, O my soul!
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Preparing for Contentment
It's been a hard morning (and it's only half over)! When I wrote my original post on contentment, I was having a good day. It was easy (well, easier) to remember what is true. Isn't that always the way things go? But what's helped me this morning to fight for contentment is that a few days ago when I wasn't needing to fight so hard, I wrote down what was true, and what to do about it. So today I reread my own post, and now I'm seeking to implement what I knew to be true just the other day, but today am tempted to doubt.
Do you prepare for temptations to discontentment (or any other sin) when you're not currently facing them? Jeremiah Burroughs has helpful counsel for fighting sin before you fight it:
"Did God give you more prosperity before? It was to prepare you for afflictions. We should look at all our outward prosperity as a preparation for afflictions. If you had done so, then it would not have been so difficult for you to endure afflictions now. If when you had great wealth, you made use of this mercy of God to prepare you for your afflicted estate, then the change of your estate would not be so grievous. Every Christian should say: 'Have I wealth now? I should prepare for poverty. Have I health now? I should prepare for sickness. Have I liberty? Let me prepare myself for imprisonment. How do I know what God may call me to? Have I comfort and peace now in my conscience, does God shine upon me? While I have this let me prepare for God's withdrawing from me. Am I delivered from temptations? Let me prepare now for the time of temptations.' If you would do so, the change of your condition would not be so grievous to you. Sailors who are in a calm prepare for storms; would they say, 'If we never had calms we could bear storms, but we have had calms so many years or weeks together, that this is grievous'? In your calm you are to prepare for storms, and the storm will be less."
"Four things on earth are small, but they are exceedingly wise: the ants are a people not strong, yet they provide their food in the summer..." (Proverbs 30:24-25)
Do you prepare for temptations to discontentment (or any other sin) when you're not currently facing them? Jeremiah Burroughs has helpful counsel for fighting sin before you fight it:
"Did God give you more prosperity before? It was to prepare you for afflictions. We should look at all our outward prosperity as a preparation for afflictions. If you had done so, then it would not have been so difficult for you to endure afflictions now. If when you had great wealth, you made use of this mercy of God to prepare you for your afflicted estate, then the change of your estate would not be so grievous. Every Christian should say: 'Have I wealth now? I should prepare for poverty. Have I health now? I should prepare for sickness. Have I liberty? Let me prepare myself for imprisonment. How do I know what God may call me to? Have I comfort and peace now in my conscience, does God shine upon me? While I have this let me prepare for God's withdrawing from me. Am I delivered from temptations? Let me prepare now for the time of temptations.' If you would do so, the change of your condition would not be so grievous to you. Sailors who are in a calm prepare for storms; would they say, 'If we never had calms we could bear storms, but we have had calms so many years or weeks together, that this is grievous'? In your calm you are to prepare for storms, and the storm will be less.""Four things on earth are small, but they are exceedingly wise: the ants are a people not strong, yet they provide their food in the summer..." (Proverbs 30:24-25)
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
On Contentment
"You know what he said to Martha: 'O Martha, thou cumberest thyself about many things, but there is one thing necessary.' Before, the soul sought after this and that, but now it says, I see that it is not necessary for me to be rich, but it is necessary for me to make my peace with God; it is not necessary that I should have honour and preferment, but it is necessary that I should have God as my portion, and have my part in Jesus Christ, it is necessary that my soul should be saved in the day of Jesus Christ. The other things are pretty fine indeed, and I should be glad if God would give me them, a fine house, and income, and clothes, and advancement for my wife and children: these are comfortable things, but they are not the necessary things; I may have these and yet perish for ever, but the other is absolutely necessary. No matter how poor I am, I may have what is absolutely necessary...When the heart of a man has nothing to do, but to be busy about creature-comforts, every little thing troubles him; but when the heart is taken up with the weighty things of eternity, with the great things of eternal life, the things of here below that disquieted it before are things now of no consequence to him in comparison with the other - how things fall out here is not much regarded by him, if the one thing that is necessary is provided for."
- Jeremiah Burroughs (The Rare Jewel of Christian Contentment)
- Jeremiah Burroughs (The Rare Jewel of Christian Contentment)
Monday, March 26, 2012
Hope and Help For the Trials of Motherhood: Part 3
A Mother's Contentment
"Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you..." (1 Peter 5:6)
I've been sick for the past week and a half, and that means that not only have I felt physically unwell, but the mess in the house has grown, the ironing pile is quickly becoming insurmountable, our diet has been a little less healthy, the kids have been in front of the TV a lot more than usual, and my overall mood has been... well, let's just say I haven't been a continual picture of joy and contentment. In fact, even when I'm not sick, and things at home are a little more under control, I am very quick to complain about the small discomforts of life (whether I do it out loud, or more usually, just in the secret of my own heart).
Of any area that Peter discusses in 1 Peter 5, contentment is the one I struggle with most. And yet, it is a key component of joyfully bearing up under the trials of motherhood. It is a key component of glorifying God in the midst of difficulty before a watching world. Peter tells us to humble ourselves under the mighty hand of God, to submit ourselves humbly to His rule. And a big part of our submission to God's will for our lives is to accept His sovereign plan for every moment of our days with contentment, even when His will for us at any given moment or season is hard. If God knows what is ultimately good for my soul (and He does! -Psalm 84:11) and always does what is good for my soul (and He does! -Romans 8:28), then who am I, mere mortal who can't see any farther ahead than the present moment, to complain and revolt against His good plan for me?
Several years ago, our family was encountering some rather large trials, including the loss of my husband's job due to a serious injury, and I was having trouble joyfully submitting to God's gracious (but very hard) plan for our lives. It was at that time that I read through the excellent book The Rare Jewel of Christian Contentment by Jeremiah Burroughs, a wise Puritan preacher. This little book has been the most helpful source on godly contentment I have ever come across, and if you haven't read it (or haven't read it recently) and are struggling with being content in your circumstances, it is a MUST read. It was through reading this book that I began to find victory in being content in the major trials that we have encountered since that time.
But I still struggle to be content in the small trials of daily life. I struggle to be content when someone in the house is sick, or when a kid wets the bed the night after I got ALL the laundry caught up, or when two kids are at each others' throats, or when the cost of food goes up, or when our one tiny bathroom is occupied by a slow child... again. I don't want to submit to God's plan for me in those moments... I want to whine, to immerse myself in the "if onlys", to raise my fist to heaven and say, "I know better!"
Burroughs defines Christian contentment as "that sweet, inward, quiet, gracious frame of spirit, which freely submits to and delights in God's wise and fatherly disposal in every condition." And if we have that, no trial is too big or too small to joyfully persevere through!
But how do we get that? Well, Burroughs wrote a whole book on it! But here are a few helpful counsels:
1) Remember God's mercies! If we are constantly fixing our minds on what is good and excellent and praiseworthy (Phil. 4:8,9), there is no room for complaining. If you are struggling to be content, make a list of God's mercies in that circumstance (and in general, too). You are bound to come up with several, because we serve a merciful God! And write them down, so you can come back to them again and again when you're having trouble remembering. This has been an enormously helpful exercise for me in big trials, and I want to start doing it more in small trials, too.
2) Remember God's discipline! If you are in Christ, you are God's child! And God's discipline of us through circumstances is proof that we are His! God disciplines those He loves, because He wants us to become more like Christ, and just as any wise parent knows, children don't grow in maturity unless they are disciplined out of their immaturity and sin. So see this circumstance as an opportunity to submit to God's discipline, so that it will in time yield the peaceful fruit of righteousness (Heb. 12:11). And be thankful that He loves you enough to discipline you!
3) Remember what you really deserve! Our sin condemns us to hell... that is what we deserve. But God has sent his precious son Jesus to die on a cross and take all the punishment for our sins so that we can be children of Holy God, have power to overcome sin in the flesh, and have eternal life. So anything short of hell that we are given is God's mercy to us (see #1). How can we complain about a laundry pile or a broken toilet or whiny children when we have already been given Christ?!
4) Remember what is important! The momentary trials of this life are passing away. Our hope is in the weight of eternal glory that is being prepared for us (2 Cor. 4). How much housework you get done on a given day, whether you are able to afford that new gadget that would really make your life easier, whether you ever own your own home or are perpetual renters, whether the baby is way overdue, or won't sleep through the night on schedule, whether the new book gets torn or the new toy breaks, or the dog (or toddler) uses your carpet as a bathroom... these things will not really matter at the end of this life. So they do not really matter now. What will really matter in the end is whether we've submitted to God's rule for our lives and sought to live faithfully in whatever he has called us to. And what will matter even more than that is that Jesus has already lived a righteous, joyful, faithful life in our place, and we stand before God wearing that righteousness!
5) Remember to pray! Humbly bring your complaints to God in prayer! I'll address this more thoroughly in Part 4, but suffice it to say that the contented heart is not in opposition to the heart that cries out to God with prayers and supplications. Being content does not mean we just grin and bear it. It doesn't mean we don't ask for help (see Part 2) or that we don't take practical steps to change circumstances under our control. But it does mean that rather than complaining to ourselves or others, we run to our Heavenly Father and pour out our burdened heart before Him. We bring our petitions with thanksgiving for God's mercies, but we also plead with Him for new mercies to persevere and grow and have joy in today's trials. The Psalms are full of these kinds of prayers, so if you don't know what to say, pray the Psalms.
6) Remember our Brother who understands our weakness! The book of Hebrews tell us that Jesus has been tempted in every way, just as we are. He understands our trials! He understands our pain! He's been tempted to discontentment! We don't serve a high priest who can't really sympathize with us... he's been in our shoes! The God who calls us to contentment has Himself, in His humanity in Christ, been tempted to discontentment! There's a lot of comfort there! But He was without sin! He didn't give in! And the same power that works in Him is now working in you by His Spirit, that you might fight temptation and live in contentment!
6) Remember to sing! Listen to music that lifts your soul to Christ! If I am having trouble being content, I am always helped by putting on some gospel-centred music and singing along. It helps remind me of God's truth, and it's easy to listen to music while I do the housework or play with the kids. And singing God's praises is also an excellent way to lift your soul out of discontentment. (Psalm 66, among others)
7) Remember what is coming! The end of 1 Peter 5:6 says that "at the proper time he may exalt you." Our hope in any trial is that exaltation and glory are coming! Even if they never come in this life in any very tangible way, they are certainly coming to us on that day when Christ returns. So whether we see exaltation now, or on that day, we have a sure hope that one day we will have no more pain, no more sin, no more tempting circumstances, and God will wipe the tears from every eye! (Rev. 21:4) Amen. Come, Lord Jesus!
Being content does not mean that we ignore the trials of life, that we pretend they aren't hard, even excruciating, that we put on that happy face and wander through life in a daze of denial. But it does mean that we're striving to remember God's tender mercies, to bring our complaints to him in humble prayer, and to be thankful for all his goodness to us, even in the midst of, even through, trial.
I thought it would be helpful for me, and maybe for you, too, if I spend the rest of the week posting quotes and/or verses related to contentment. I need the reminder!
And now to tackle that ironing pile!
"Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you..." (1 Peter 5:6)
I've been sick for the past week and a half, and that means that not only have I felt physically unwell, but the mess in the house has grown, the ironing pile is quickly becoming insurmountable, our diet has been a little less healthy, the kids have been in front of the TV a lot more than usual, and my overall mood has been... well, let's just say I haven't been a continual picture of joy and contentment. In fact, even when I'm not sick, and things at home are a little more under control, I am very quick to complain about the small discomforts of life (whether I do it out loud, or more usually, just in the secret of my own heart).
Of any area that Peter discusses in 1 Peter 5, contentment is the one I struggle with most. And yet, it is a key component of joyfully bearing up under the trials of motherhood. It is a key component of glorifying God in the midst of difficulty before a watching world. Peter tells us to humble ourselves under the mighty hand of God, to submit ourselves humbly to His rule. And a big part of our submission to God's will for our lives is to accept His sovereign plan for every moment of our days with contentment, even when His will for us at any given moment or season is hard. If God knows what is ultimately good for my soul (and He does! -Psalm 84:11) and always does what is good for my soul (and He does! -Romans 8:28), then who am I, mere mortal who can't see any farther ahead than the present moment, to complain and revolt against His good plan for me?
Several years ago, our family was encountering some rather large trials, including the loss of my husband's job due to a serious injury, and I was having trouble joyfully submitting to God's gracious (but very hard) plan for our lives. It was at that time that I read through the excellent book The Rare Jewel of Christian Contentment by Jeremiah Burroughs, a wise Puritan preacher. This little book has been the most helpful source on godly contentment I have ever come across, and if you haven't read it (or haven't read it recently) and are struggling with being content in your circumstances, it is a MUST read. It was through reading this book that I began to find victory in being content in the major trials that we have encountered since that time.
But I still struggle to be content in the small trials of daily life. I struggle to be content when someone in the house is sick, or when a kid wets the bed the night after I got ALL the laundry caught up, or when two kids are at each others' throats, or when the cost of food goes up, or when our one tiny bathroom is occupied by a slow child... again. I don't want to submit to God's plan for me in those moments... I want to whine, to immerse myself in the "if onlys", to raise my fist to heaven and say, "I know better!"
Burroughs defines Christian contentment as "that sweet, inward, quiet, gracious frame of spirit, which freely submits to and delights in God's wise and fatherly disposal in every condition." And if we have that, no trial is too big or too small to joyfully persevere through!
But how do we get that? Well, Burroughs wrote a whole book on it! But here are a few helpful counsels:
1) Remember God's mercies! If we are constantly fixing our minds on what is good and excellent and praiseworthy (Phil. 4:8,9), there is no room for complaining. If you are struggling to be content, make a list of God's mercies in that circumstance (and in general, too). You are bound to come up with several, because we serve a merciful God! And write them down, so you can come back to them again and again when you're having trouble remembering. This has been an enormously helpful exercise for me in big trials, and I want to start doing it more in small trials, too.
2) Remember God's discipline! If you are in Christ, you are God's child! And God's discipline of us through circumstances is proof that we are His! God disciplines those He loves, because He wants us to become more like Christ, and just as any wise parent knows, children don't grow in maturity unless they are disciplined out of their immaturity and sin. So see this circumstance as an opportunity to submit to God's discipline, so that it will in time yield the peaceful fruit of righteousness (Heb. 12:11). And be thankful that He loves you enough to discipline you!
3) Remember what you really deserve! Our sin condemns us to hell... that is what we deserve. But God has sent his precious son Jesus to die on a cross and take all the punishment for our sins so that we can be children of Holy God, have power to overcome sin in the flesh, and have eternal life. So anything short of hell that we are given is God's mercy to us (see #1). How can we complain about a laundry pile or a broken toilet or whiny children when we have already been given Christ?!
4) Remember what is important! The momentary trials of this life are passing away. Our hope is in the weight of eternal glory that is being prepared for us (2 Cor. 4). How much housework you get done on a given day, whether you are able to afford that new gadget that would really make your life easier, whether you ever own your own home or are perpetual renters, whether the baby is way overdue, or won't sleep through the night on schedule, whether the new book gets torn or the new toy breaks, or the dog (or toddler) uses your carpet as a bathroom... these things will not really matter at the end of this life. So they do not really matter now. What will really matter in the end is whether we've submitted to God's rule for our lives and sought to live faithfully in whatever he has called us to. And what will matter even more than that is that Jesus has already lived a righteous, joyful, faithful life in our place, and we stand before God wearing that righteousness!
5) Remember to pray! Humbly bring your complaints to God in prayer! I'll address this more thoroughly in Part 4, but suffice it to say that the contented heart is not in opposition to the heart that cries out to God with prayers and supplications. Being content does not mean we just grin and bear it. It doesn't mean we don't ask for help (see Part 2) or that we don't take practical steps to change circumstances under our control. But it does mean that rather than complaining to ourselves or others, we run to our Heavenly Father and pour out our burdened heart before Him. We bring our petitions with thanksgiving for God's mercies, but we also plead with Him for new mercies to persevere and grow and have joy in today's trials. The Psalms are full of these kinds of prayers, so if you don't know what to say, pray the Psalms.
6) Remember our Brother who understands our weakness! The book of Hebrews tell us that Jesus has been tempted in every way, just as we are. He understands our trials! He understands our pain! He's been tempted to discontentment! We don't serve a high priest who can't really sympathize with us... he's been in our shoes! The God who calls us to contentment has Himself, in His humanity in Christ, been tempted to discontentment! There's a lot of comfort there! But He was without sin! He didn't give in! And the same power that works in Him is now working in you by His Spirit, that you might fight temptation and live in contentment!
6) Remember to sing! Listen to music that lifts your soul to Christ! If I am having trouble being content, I am always helped by putting on some gospel-centred music and singing along. It helps remind me of God's truth, and it's easy to listen to music while I do the housework or play with the kids. And singing God's praises is also an excellent way to lift your soul out of discontentment. (Psalm 66, among others)
7) Remember what is coming! The end of 1 Peter 5:6 says that "at the proper time he may exalt you." Our hope in any trial is that exaltation and glory are coming! Even if they never come in this life in any very tangible way, they are certainly coming to us on that day when Christ returns. So whether we see exaltation now, or on that day, we have a sure hope that one day we will have no more pain, no more sin, no more tempting circumstances, and God will wipe the tears from every eye! (Rev. 21:4) Amen. Come, Lord Jesus!
Being content does not mean that we ignore the trials of life, that we pretend they aren't hard, even excruciating, that we put on that happy face and wander through life in a daze of denial. But it does mean that we're striving to remember God's tender mercies, to bring our complaints to him in humble prayer, and to be thankful for all his goodness to us, even in the midst of, even through, trial.
I thought it would be helpful for me, and maybe for you, too, if I spend the rest of the week posting quotes and/or verses related to contentment. I need the reminder!
And now to tackle that ironing pile!
Friday, March 23, 2012
Hope and Help for the Trials of Motherhood: Part 2
A Mother's Humility
"Likewise, you who are younger, be subject to the elders. Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for 'God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.'” (1 Peter 5:5)
I like to be in control. And if I'm not in control, I at least like to LOOK like I'm in control.
Do you ever have those days when it feels like life is falling apart and you don't know what to do, but somehow when you leave the house to go somewhere (especially if it's church), this lovely smile magically appears on your face, and without even thinking about it, you answer the question "How are you doing?" with a chipper "Fine!" Been there, done that, many times!
And why? Because even on my worst days, my pride keeps me from wanting to let people know that I'm really NOT in control, that I'm really falling to pieces, that I lack knowledge and wisdom, that I want to throw in the towel and sell my kids up the river. If they really knew what I thought, what I did when no one was around to keep me in line, the things that came out of my mouth when I was frustrated with the kids, or the dog, or the house, or my husband, or the schedule... Well, they might not like me so much. They might not ask me for wisdom. They might start to think I'm not a "good Christian". And wouldn't that just make my whole messy life worse? So I bite my lip, force a smile and pretend that I've got it all together.
But Peter tells us that pride will not get us any help, any grace at all. God OPPOSES the proud. I don't know about you, but I don't want God to be opposed to me! God gives GRACE to the humble. I'm pretty sure that I want grace, that I NEED grace! And if my life feels like it's falling apart, the worst thing I can do is to stand in pride before others and invite God's opposition! I need to be humble and receive God's grace for my messy life.
Peter tells all of us (leaders, followers, fathers, mothers, older, younger) to clothe ourselves in humility toward one another. What does that look like for the mother in times of trial? Well, for starters, she's willing to admit that she DOESN'T have it all together, that she has fears and anxieties, that she's weary, that she's uncertain, that she is concerned for her children, that she doubts God's goodness, that she even doubts God's existence sometimes, that she needs help, needs grace. She needs to make herself vulnerable to other believers, to come to them for help and be fully open and honest about where she's really at.
Admittedly, this is hard. Our pride constantly threatens to get in the way. And we may fear that someone will use our personal struggles as open information and defame or slander us, or just plain use us. But God has commanded humility in his children, and if he has commanded it, he also gives Spirit-power to do it. So pray for humility; pray to leave your fears in God's hands; pray for the Spirit's help. And remember that the most humble man who ever lived was Jesus Christ (Philippians 2:5-11). He was humble even though they did slander him, use him, mock him, crucify him to death on a wooden cross. But he humbled himself for you and for me, that he might bear the punishment for our sins in our place, that we might receive the grace of God. If he humbled himself for us, being very God of very God, how much more should we humble ourselves for his sake! And the same power that then raised him from the dead and gives him glory for all eternity also makes the believer a new person, no longer chained to the sins of pride and vanity and self-rule, but able, by the Spirit, to put to death pride in the flesh and walk in humility toward God and man (Romans 8:1-11). And that same power will also one day raise us and we will share in his glory!
Now, not only will the mother who is humble and asks other believers for help receive future glory, she will also receive grace for life NOW. And the main way this happens is that when other believers know what her struggles are, they have the ability to speak grace into them, to practically help her out, to pray specifically for her, to LOVE her. In fact, our pride may be robbing other believers of opportunities to love us and care for us! Robbing them of joyful service, and robbing ourselves of practical grace for our struggles! I don't want to do that... do you?
I've spent many years trying to pretend I was Supermom, that I didn't need help, that I was in control. It took a heart-breaking, strength-exhausting miscarriage for me to be forced to admit I DID need help. And then it took an scary postpartum haemorrhage (at a wedding, of all places), after which I was weak for a month, to further push me to humble myself... And then several months of stress-related dizzy spells... And after that, I'm still learning! And I want to learn to be humble even when not faced with a major health issues, or major trials of any sort! I want to be humble when I'm struggling with how to relate to a newly-minted preteen, or when I'm trying to remember how to deal with a toddler, when my husband and I disagree on a parenting issue (or anything else!), when the dog is driving me crazy, when it's just been a busy week and I'm tired. And I'm very thankful for the example of many members of our church who continually model a humble attitude, and who meet my humility with much grace.
There are many other practical applications of the command to humble ourselves toward one another: joyful service, giving grace rather than condemnation to those who come to you with their struggles, not doing things in order to be noticed, and many more. But I only have so much time and space to write, and as I have been enormously benefited by the grace I've received from God through his people when I've just been humble in admitting my sins and struggles and needs to the other members of Christ's body, I want to use this space to encourage all of us to clothe ourselves in humility by the grace of the Saviour who humbled himself for us, and be mothers who don't have it all under control, who need help, who weep and who fear and who desperately need wisdom, and who receive much grace for all of these things through our fellow believers, as they are given the opportunity to love us. And may God get all the glory for it!
"Likewise, you who are younger, be subject to the elders. Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for 'God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.'” (1 Peter 5:5)
I like to be in control. And if I'm not in control, I at least like to LOOK like I'm in control.
Do you ever have those days when it feels like life is falling apart and you don't know what to do, but somehow when you leave the house to go somewhere (especially if it's church), this lovely smile magically appears on your face, and without even thinking about it, you answer the question "How are you doing?" with a chipper "Fine!" Been there, done that, many times!
And why? Because even on my worst days, my pride keeps me from wanting to let people know that I'm really NOT in control, that I'm really falling to pieces, that I lack knowledge and wisdom, that I want to throw in the towel and sell my kids up the river. If they really knew what I thought, what I did when no one was around to keep me in line, the things that came out of my mouth when I was frustrated with the kids, or the dog, or the house, or my husband, or the schedule... Well, they might not like me so much. They might not ask me for wisdom. They might start to think I'm not a "good Christian". And wouldn't that just make my whole messy life worse? So I bite my lip, force a smile and pretend that I've got it all together.
But Peter tells us that pride will not get us any help, any grace at all. God OPPOSES the proud. I don't know about you, but I don't want God to be opposed to me! God gives GRACE to the humble. I'm pretty sure that I want grace, that I NEED grace! And if my life feels like it's falling apart, the worst thing I can do is to stand in pride before others and invite God's opposition! I need to be humble and receive God's grace for my messy life.Peter tells all of us (leaders, followers, fathers, mothers, older, younger) to clothe ourselves in humility toward one another. What does that look like for the mother in times of trial? Well, for starters, she's willing to admit that she DOESN'T have it all together, that she has fears and anxieties, that she's weary, that she's uncertain, that she is concerned for her children, that she doubts God's goodness, that she even doubts God's existence sometimes, that she needs help, needs grace. She needs to make herself vulnerable to other believers, to come to them for help and be fully open and honest about where she's really at.
Admittedly, this is hard. Our pride constantly threatens to get in the way. And we may fear that someone will use our personal struggles as open information and defame or slander us, or just plain use us. But God has commanded humility in his children, and if he has commanded it, he also gives Spirit-power to do it. So pray for humility; pray to leave your fears in God's hands; pray for the Spirit's help. And remember that the most humble man who ever lived was Jesus Christ (Philippians 2:5-11). He was humble even though they did slander him, use him, mock him, crucify him to death on a wooden cross. But he humbled himself for you and for me, that he might bear the punishment for our sins in our place, that we might receive the grace of God. If he humbled himself for us, being very God of very God, how much more should we humble ourselves for his sake! And the same power that then raised him from the dead and gives him glory for all eternity also makes the believer a new person, no longer chained to the sins of pride and vanity and self-rule, but able, by the Spirit, to put to death pride in the flesh and walk in humility toward God and man (Romans 8:1-11). And that same power will also one day raise us and we will share in his glory!
Now, not only will the mother who is humble and asks other believers for help receive future glory, she will also receive grace for life NOW. And the main way this happens is that when other believers know what her struggles are, they have the ability to speak grace into them, to practically help her out, to pray specifically for her, to LOVE her. In fact, our pride may be robbing other believers of opportunities to love us and care for us! Robbing them of joyful service, and robbing ourselves of practical grace for our struggles! I don't want to do that... do you?
I've spent many years trying to pretend I was Supermom, that I didn't need help, that I was in control. It took a heart-breaking, strength-exhausting miscarriage for me to be forced to admit I DID need help. And then it took an scary postpartum haemorrhage (at a wedding, of all places), after which I was weak for a month, to further push me to humble myself... And then several months of stress-related dizzy spells... And after that, I'm still learning! And I want to learn to be humble even when not faced with a major health issues, or major trials of any sort! I want to be humble when I'm struggling with how to relate to a newly-minted preteen, or when I'm trying to remember how to deal with a toddler, when my husband and I disagree on a parenting issue (or anything else!), when the dog is driving me crazy, when it's just been a busy week and I'm tired. And I'm very thankful for the example of many members of our church who continually model a humble attitude, and who meet my humility with much grace.
There are many other practical applications of the command to humble ourselves toward one another: joyful service, giving grace rather than condemnation to those who come to you with their struggles, not doing things in order to be noticed, and many more. But I only have so much time and space to write, and as I have been enormously benefited by the grace I've received from God through his people when I've just been humble in admitting my sins and struggles and needs to the other members of Christ's body, I want to use this space to encourage all of us to clothe ourselves in humility by the grace of the Saviour who humbled himself for us, and be mothers who don't have it all under control, who need help, who weep and who fear and who desperately need wisdom, and who receive much grace for all of these things through our fellow believers, as they are given the opportunity to love us. And may God get all the glory for it!
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Hope and Help For the Trials of Motherhood: Part 1
A Mother's Submission
"Likewise, you who are younger, be subject to the elders. Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for 'God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble'.” (1 Peter 5:5)
"Likewise, you who are younger, be subject to the elders. Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for 'God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble'.” (1 Peter 5:5)
Several years ago, when I had 3 small children, there were several occasions when men from our church leadership would lovingly point out concern over the rather chaotic nature of our children and our family life, and offer suggestions for how to better lead and care for them. And each time, I would hear them and smile and go on my merry way, thinking, "If your wife tells me the same thing, I might listen. But YOU don't understand how hard it is!" And though it is now several years later, and I'm learning to listen, I'm still growing in humble submission to my leaders.
Peter's first instruction to the church in 1 Peter 5:5 is for the younger* to submit themselves to the elders. Although young people elsewhere in Scripture are commanded to listen to the wisdom of those older than them, in this passage, the word translated "elder"** is the same word used in the first 4 verses of 1 Peter 5, a word referring to the leadership of the church. Since that is the immediate context of this passage, I would argue (and several commentators agree) that Peter is here specifically referring to submission to the leadership of the church.
Peter's first instruction to the church in 1 Peter 5:5 is for the younger* to submit themselves to the elders. Although young people elsewhere in Scripture are commanded to listen to the wisdom of those older than them, in this passage, the word translated "elder"** is the same word used in the first 4 verses of 1 Peter 5, a word referring to the leadership of the church. Since that is the immediate context of this passage, I would argue (and several commentators agree) that Peter is here specifically referring to submission to the leadership of the church.
So if we are to be submissive to the elders, the first question of importance would be "Do you have elders (or leaders by another name) to whom you can submit?" If you are not a member of a local church, the answer is "no". And as a mother (or believer in general), if you don't have elders to submit to, you are missing out on a very important means of grace for living the Christian life. You can learn a lot by reading your Bible and praying on your own (and we mothers need to feed ourselves spiritually on a very regular basis, even if our feeding can't involve long periods of silence and meditation), but you will not grow well if you don't have godly leaders to follow. You need Biblical teaching from those gifted by the Spirit for the proclamation of God's Word. You need to be led by earthly shepherds so that someone other than you is caring for your soul in practical ways. And you need to care for and be cared for by the other members of the church (more on that next time).
But let's assume that most of you are part of a local church, and agree that it's good to be led by godly leadership. My question for you (and for myself) is: Do you submit to the leaders you have? Are you listening to their teaching, their wisdom, their advice? I mean really LISTENING. Of course, we want to be familiar enough with our Bibles that we can weigh what is taught in church against the teaching of the Word, and make sure that truth is being taught as best we're able. But too often, our temptation is to agree with the pastor on the things we had already decided were true in our own minds, and disregard or gripe about areas we don't agree with, without even giving proper thought as to whether we might be wrong. If you have a leader you believe to be godly, and who is leading you by the principles laid out in 1 Peter 5:2-3, let him speak into your life and seriously consider and pray about what he tells you. And don't stop there! Seek to apply it, too!
I think, as mothers, a common area where we run into temptation is to put ourselves above our pastor is in the whole area of child rearing, just as I was doing in all those conversations I mentioned earlier. We can often hear sermons on mothering, or be given counsel on our parenting, and our first thought about things that prick or convict us is to think, "He's never been a mother. He doesn't really know what it's like. I am a mother, and I know better."
I think, as mothers, a common area where we run into temptation is to put ourselves above our pastor is in the whole area of child rearing, just as I was doing in all those conversations I mentioned earlier. We can often hear sermons on mothering, or be given counsel on our parenting, and our first thought about things that prick or convict us is to think, "He's never been a mother. He doesn't really know what it's like. I am a mother, and I know better."
But God has given us not only the counsel of other mothers, but the wise and Spirit-filled counsel of our leaders, women AND men, to help us see things we might not otherwise have seen, and thereby, to help us grow. And we need to keep in mind that the average pastor has observed and counseled many mothers over the years, and even though he's never been one, he's unlikely to be clueless about the breed. And if we're honest about ourselves, there are MANY times when we feel like WE have no clue about how to be a mother. So we shouldn't just rely on other moms; we need a high regard for the wise teaching of our pastors and other leaders, even though they have never been precisely in our shoes (more on that later, too!) God speaks through the men he ordains, and though they are not infallible, they ARE given the responsibility of caring for our souls, and those of our children, too. And God gives them the grace to do it! So next time your pastor (or husband, for that matter, who is also not a mother, but to whom you are also called to submit) gives you counsel or teaching on your mothering, swallow your pride, pray to be clothed in humility and accept the grace of godly leadership for your daily life. You may find, as I have when I've taken the time to listen, that some very wise and helpful counsel comes to your life as a mother from the leaders God has placed over you.
*A few translations (such as the NIV) have "young men" instead of "younger" or "young people". The Greek uses a masculine adjective, but no noun for "men". While this could still mean "young men", the following context is to the entire church, so I read this as referring to both men and women (the masculine is often used in case where both men and women are involved). Even if I (among others) am wrong, the application can easily be drawn from other scriptures.
**Also, I promise not to be too technical. My knowledge of Biblical Greek is rudimentary at best, so I rely heavily on commentators, and I know many people don't care too much about the original languages. But there will be a couple cases where the original words are disputed, but important for proper interpretation... And actually, for this passage, I think this is the last time:)
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Hope and Help For the Trials of Motherhood
An Introduction
"5 Likewise, you who are younger, be subject to the elders. Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”
For many years now, 1 Peter 5:5-11 has been a favourite passage of mine in times of difficulty. The apostle Peter knew much about suffering, but also much about Christ's glory revealed (1 Peter 5:1), and in the letter of 1 Peter, God uses him to both instruct his church on how to suffer well, and to encourage his church in the midst of suffering with the hope of the Gospel. The whole book is wonderful, but this little passage at the end of the letter is crammed full of wise commands and precious promises! I was reading it again the other day, and was once again struck by how applicable every single verse here is to the mother in trial (something I've been thinking about a fair bit recently because of several discussions with friends on that topic). Even if you're not a mother, you certainly have trials in life, so this will apply to you to, just with different details in application. So I thought it might be helpful to write out some of my thoughts on this over the course of a few blog posts (doing it in smaller chunks means it's more likely to get done!). This post will serve as a brief introduction, and then I'll work my way through it over the next several weeks. Here, for your benefit, is the passage:
"5 Likewise, you who are younger, be subject to the elders. Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”
6 Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, 7 casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. 8 Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. 9 Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. 10 And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. 11 To him be the dominion forever and ever. Amen."
Motherhood is Hard
Any mother can attest to this, whether they've been a mother for 40 years, or only a few hours. In fact, any pregnant woman can already tell you that motherhood has its share of difficulty! Whether it's vicious morning sickness, birth pains, sleepless nights, exhausting days, defiant toddlers, fighting siblings, endless laundry and food prep, sickness, financial burdens, or the mother's own sin and failure resting heavily on her mind, motherhood is full of pain. This is a direct result of the curse of sin (Genesis 3:16), and every mother since Eve is no stranger to suffering. Even the best of days are not really carefree. And the temptation is to run away, to hide in solitude, to wallow in self-pity, to gossip about the failures of others to make you feel better about your own, or to just fall into despair and pray that age 18 will come soon and those trouble-making kids will leave you alone (not that motherhood ends at 18). But God's hope for every mother is much more than a life of enduring, grinding existence until her sad life is done and she goes to her grave. Much more! And 1 Peter 5 gives us wisdom to walk in and hope to cling to, so that we can be joy-filled, humble, confident, loving, serving mothers who glorify our God and Saviour.
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Return to the Blogosphere
Well, it's been a LONG time! I've had the odd post on my old blog (still about 4 years old), but the past several years have just been too, well, BUSY! But a revisit to the blog for the one-time purpose of entering a contest got me thinking about blogging again, and after much encouragement from my husband, and positive feedback from a few others, I hope to be back to blogging at least semi-regularly (I am not committing to a regular timetable just yet... we'll see how I keep up with things). A lot has changed in the last 6 years: we now live back near Toronto, where we are members at Sovereign Grace Church Toronto, we have a total of four kids - two girls and two boys, and I'm now homeschooling the oldest 2. I'm no longer in my 20s, though I still think of myself as far younger than most 20-somethings see me, and well, God is still good.
My main reasons for blogging again, other than being submissive to my husband :), are to be a little more disciplined in getting my thoughts written down, because I really do think best on paper (or screen, in this case), and also to hopefully encourage younger women (among others) with the little insights God has been gracious to give me over the years, as Titus 2:3-5 lays out. To the "older women" among you: yes, I know I'm still young! But I am thankful for the many things God has taught me over the last 10 years of marriage and parenting, and I hope it will be helpful, especially to those just starting out on those intertwined journeys! If you find any wisdom here, any encouragement for your soul, any helpful challenge, any grace at all, turn your thanksgiving and praise to the only wise God who gave it!
My first blogging "project" is to do a little walk-through of I Peter 5:5-11, especially as it applies to mothering. But as I am a mother, and have hungry children in my house, that will have to wait.
Well, it's been a LONG time! I've had the odd post on my old blog (still about 4 years old), but the past several years have just been too, well, BUSY! But a revisit to the blog for the one-time purpose of entering a contest got me thinking about blogging again, and after much encouragement from my husband, and positive feedback from a few others, I hope to be back to blogging at least semi-regularly (I am not committing to a regular timetable just yet... we'll see how I keep up with things). A lot has changed in the last 6 years: we now live back near Toronto, where we are members at Sovereign Grace Church Toronto, we have a total of four kids - two girls and two boys, and I'm now homeschooling the oldest 2. I'm no longer in my 20s, though I still think of myself as far younger than most 20-somethings see me, and well, God is still good.
My main reasons for blogging again, other than being submissive to my husband :), are to be a little more disciplined in getting my thoughts written down, because I really do think best on paper (or screen, in this case), and also to hopefully encourage younger women (among others) with the little insights God has been gracious to give me over the years, as Titus 2:3-5 lays out. To the "older women" among you: yes, I know I'm still young! But I am thankful for the many things God has taught me over the last 10 years of marriage and parenting, and I hope it will be helpful, especially to those just starting out on those intertwined journeys! If you find any wisdom here, any encouragement for your soul, any helpful challenge, any grace at all, turn your thanksgiving and praise to the only wise God who gave it!
My first blogging "project" is to do a little walk-through of I Peter 5:5-11, especially as it applies to mothering. But as I am a mother, and have hungry children in my house, that will have to wait.
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