Hope and Help For the Trials of Motherhood: Part 4

A Mother's Peace


"Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you." (1 Peter 5:6,7)


Motherhood is full of anxieties. We start off waking up multiple times a night just to make sure that the newborn is still breathing. Then we try our very best to guard them against harm by installing all kinds of child safety locks (often more effective at keeping parents out than kids!) and by guiding their every move at the playground. If they go off to public school (or any other activity away from home), we may anxiously await their safe return at the end of the day. We fear the teenage years, we fear the learner's permit, we fear that they might meet the right person, we fear that they might never meet the right person. And in between, we worry daily about all kinds of minute details of their lives and ours.


But not only does humbling ourselves under God's mighty hand mean that we are content with the circumstances He is currently placing into our lives, it also means that we are not anxious about the circumstances that He may, or may not, bring into our lives in the future, whether that future is later today or 20 years from now. We are not seeking to control our circumstances on our own by continually mulling over the possibilities, by rehearsing a thousand different ways to deal with the unknown future, by trying to pull ourselves through the scary situations of the present by the strength of our own fear. Temptations to anxiety are ever-present, but we must fight those temptations if we are to submit ourselves to God's rule in our lives.


Just as with contentment, it would be easy to write a whole book on anxiety (and it's been done, I'm sure). But I want to keep this manageable, so I'm going to focus on 1 Peter 5:6-7 here.


Peter gives us two things as the antidote to anxiety in this passage: one of doing, and one of knowing.


1) DO: In the first part of verse 7, Peter tells us to cast our anxieties on the Lord. We are not strong enough to carry the weight of fear and anxiety, but God is. And He is not only able to carry our burdens, He WANTS them. He tells us over and over again in Scripture to give our load to Him. The future is not ours to control (and if you think about it honestly, do you really want to live in a future controlled by sinful man?). We don't know what's really best for our lives, but God does. So the safest place for the future and all our anxieties about it is in God's hands. "Cast your burden on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved" (Psalm 55:22). Note also, that we are not to reluctantly hand over our burdens, we're not to quietly slide them over to God when no one is looking to see that we're really not in control. Peter (quoting David) tells us to CAST them! Use all your strength, all your will, all the Spirit's power at work within you, and toss that anxiety toward God and as far away from you as possible!


And what does it look like for us to cast our burdens on the Lord? It looks like prayer. Whether it is concerted prayer alone in the quiet of your room for an hour, or (more likely for the mother of young children) a fairly quick prayer offered up in the middle of running after a child or washing the dishes, perhaps the same prayer offered up 20 times over the course of the day, pray all your anxieties to God. In fact, don't wait for a quiet opportunity (though when you do have time for quiet, pray long and hard). When you feel anxiety creeping in, don't carry it around, don't wallow in it, don't even entertain it. Take that anxiety to the Lord and cast it on Him immediately! It only grows bigger and harder to cast the longer you hang on to it.


And Paul tells us, in Philippians 4, that the prayer we offer against anxiety is not only to be a prayer of petition and supplication for help and peace; it is to be a prayer of thanksgiving. Just as we remind ourselves of God's mercies when we're tempted to discontentment, we need to remind ourselves of God's mercies when we're tempted to fear and anxiety. 


And why?


2) KNOW: Peter tells us in the second part of verse 7 that we do this because we know that He cares for us. I think the majority of my anxieties come from not believing that God loves me and is working for my good. I fear that He will send terrible things to me as punishment because I don't fully believe that Christ took all the punishment for me at the cross. But the Bible is very clear that God DOES love us, that our punishment HAS been dealt with, and that God ONLY gives steadfast love and mercy to His children all the time.  


And sometimes I don't take my "small" anxieties to the Lord because I assume he cares about me, but only really about the big things - my salvation, decisions about who to marry, or a big move, or a life-threatening illness. I assume that such a big God couldn't possibly care less about whether I get a nice meal together for company, or whether my child catches a cold, or whether the car repairs are more expensive than I was expecting, or whether I have enough hours in this day to finish my "to do" list. I don't take those worry-producing thoughts to God, because I don't think He cares enough. 


But the Bible tells believers that God is our father. A parent cares about the "minutia" of their child's day. If I love my kids, I'm not just thinking about where they'll go to school, or who they'll marry, or whether they will trust the Lord. I don't just leave them to tend to all the other details. I make sure they have matching clothes to wear, that they have good food to eat for each and every meal and all the snacks in between. If they stub their toe, I kiss it better, even if it's just a little toe. I brush their hair and cut it when it gets too long. I teach them their letters. I make sure their math worksheets get done. If I skipped one of these activities for just one day, would it kill them? No. But I love them, and desire their comfort and their good, so I care for their little needs all day long. And when I am walking in the Spirit, I am doing all these things not begrudgingly, but with love and pleasure. 


Well that is how God the Father treats us, only He is completely perfect and holy, so he ALWAYS cares for EVERY detail with love and pleasure.  Matthew 6:25-34 tells us that we aren't to worry about little things like food and clothes because God even cares for what the birds eat and the flowers wear, and how much more His children!


When we are tempted to believe that God doesn't care for us, we need to meditate on Scripture. This is the God who controls our past, present and future:


"The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love;he will exult over you with loud singing." (Zephaniah 3:17)  


"For you are a people holy to the Lord your God. The Lord your God has chosen you to be a people for his treasured possession, out of all the peoples who are on the face of the earth. It was not because you were more in number than any other people that the Lord set his love on you and chose you, for you were the fewest of all peoples, but it is because the Lord loves you and is keeping the oath that he swore to your fathers, that the Lord has brought you out with a mighty hand and redeemed you from the house of slavery, from the hand of Pharaoh king of Egypt." (Deuteronomy 7:6-8)


"But let all who take refuge in you rejoice;
    let them ever sing for joy,and spread your protection over them,
    that those who love your name may exult in you. 
For you bless the righteous, O Lord;
    you cover him with favor as with a shield." (Psalm 5:11-12)



"All the paths of the Lord are steadfast love and faithfulness,
    for those who keep his covenant and his testimonies." (Psalm 25:10)


"How precious is your steadfast love, O God.
    The children of mankind take refuge in the shadow of your wings." (Psalm 36:7)


"But I will sing of your strength;
    I will sing aloud of your steadfast love in the morning.
For you have been to me a fortress 
    and a refuge in the day of my distress.
O my Strength, I will sing praises to you,
    for you, O God, are my fortress,
    the God who shows me steadfast love." (Psalm 59:16-17)


"For I am the Lord your God,
    the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.
I give Egypt as your ransom,
    Cush and Seba in exchange for you.
Because you are precious in my eyes,
    and honored, and I love you,
I give men in return for you,
    peoples in exchange for your life.
Fear not, for I am with you;
    I will bring your offspring from the east,
    and from the west I will gather you." (Isaiah 43:3-5)


"For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers,³⁹ nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Romans 8:38-39)


Are you tempted to be anxious today? I know I have been! Let us together remember to cast those anxieties on God, and to rest in His unending care for our every moment. 
            

Two Last Quotes on Contentment

“The great thing, if one can, is to stop regarding all the unpleasant things as interruptions of one’s ‘own’ or ‘real’ life. The truth is, of course, that what one calls the interruptions are precisely one’s real life – the life God is sending one day by day; what one calls one’s ‘real life’ is a phantom of one’s own imagination. This is at least what I see at moments of insight: but it’s hard to remember it all the time."


-C.S. Lewis (via Joanne Kerr's blog)

"This is the soul's worship, to subject itself thus to God. You who often will worship God by hearing, and praying, and receiving sacraments, and yet afterwards will be froward [contrary or in a bad mood] and discontented -- know that God does not regard such worship, he will have the soul's worship, in this subjecting of the soul unto God. Note this, I beseech you: in active obedience we worship God by doing what pleases God, but by passive obedience we do as well worship God by being pleased with what God does." 

-Jeremiah Burroughs

A Prayer for Contentment

I recommend memorizing this Psalm, so it's available for your prayers whether you have your Bible with you or not. It's one of my go-to Psalms for trials and temptations to be discontent. 

Psalm 103

English Standard Version (ESV)

Of David.

103 Bless the Lord, O my soul,
    and all that is within me,
    bless his holy name!
² Bless the Lord, O my soul,
    and forget not all his benefits,
³ who forgives all your iniquity,
    who heals all your diseases,
⁴ who redeems your life from the pit,
    who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy,
⁵ who satisfies you with good
    so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.

⁶ The Lord works righteousness
    and justice for all who are oppressed.
⁷ He made known his ways to Moses,
    his acts to the people of Israel.
⁸ The Lord is merciful and gracious,
    slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.
⁹ He will not always chide,
    nor will he keep his anger forever.
¹⁰ He does not deal with us according to our sins,
    nor repay us according to our iniquities.
¹¹ For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
    so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him;
¹² as far as the east is from the west,
    so far does he remove our transgressions from us.
¹³ As a father shows compassion to his children,
    so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him.
¹⁴ For he knows our frame;
    he remembers that we are dust.

¹⁵ As for man, his days are like grass;
    he flourishes like a flower of the field;
¹⁶ for the wind passes over it, and it is gone,
    and its place knows it no more.
¹⁷ But the steadfast love of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear him,
    and his righteousness to children's children,
¹⁸ to those who keep his covenant
    and remember to do his commandments.
¹⁹ The Lord has established his throne in the heavens,
    and his kingdom rules over all.

²⁰ Bless the Lord, O you his angels,
    you mighty ones who do his word,
    obeying the voice of his word!
²¹ Bless the Lord, all his hosts,
    his ministers, who do his will!
²² Bless the Lord, all his works,
    in all places of his dominion.
Bless the Lord, O my soul!

Preparing for Contentment

It's been a hard morning (and it's only half over)! When I wrote my original post on contentment, I was having a good day. It was easy (well, easier) to remember what is true. Isn't that always the way things go? But what's helped me this morning to fight for contentment is that a few days ago when I wasn't needing to fight so hard, I wrote down what was true, and what to do about it. So today I reread my own post, and now I'm seeking to implement what I knew to be true just the other day, but today am tempted to doubt.

Do you prepare for temptations to discontentment (or any other sin) when you're not currently facing them? Jeremiah Burroughs has helpful counsel for fighting sin before you fight it:

"Did God give you more prosperity before? It was to prepare you for afflictions. We should look at all our outward prosperity as a preparation for afflictions. If you had done so, then it would not have been so difficult for you to endure afflictions now. If when you had great wealth, you made use of this mercy of God to prepare you for your afflicted estate, then the change of your estate would not be so grievous. Every Christian should say: 'Have I wealth now? I should prepare for poverty. Have I health now? I should prepare for sickness. Have I liberty? Let me prepare myself for imprisonment. How do I know what God may call me to? Have I comfort and peace now in my conscience, does God shine upon me? While I have this let me prepare for God's withdrawing from me. Am I delivered from temptations? Let me prepare now for the time of temptations.' If you would do so, the change of your condition would not be so grievous to you. Sailors who are in a calm prepare for storms; would they say, 'If we never had calms we could bear storms, but we have had calms so many years or weeks together, that this is grievous'? In your calm you are to prepare for storms, and the storm will be less."

"Four things on earth are small, but they are exceedingly wise: the ants are a people not strong, yet they provide their food in the summer..." (Proverbs 30:24-25)

On Contentment

"You know what he said to Martha: 'O Martha, thou cumberest thyself about many things, but there is one thing necessary.' Before, the soul sought after this and that, but now it says, I see that it is not necessary for me to be rich, but it is necessary for me to make my peace with God; it is not necessary that I should have honour and preferment, but it is necessary that I should have God as my portion, and have my part in Jesus Christ, it is necessary that my soul should be saved in the day of Jesus Christ. The other things are pretty fine indeed, and I should be glad if God would give me them, a fine house, and income, and clothes, and advancement for my wife and children: these are comfortable things, but they are not the necessary things; I may have these and yet perish for ever, but the other is absolutely necessary. No matter how poor I am, I may have what is absolutely necessary...When the heart of a man has nothing to do, but to be busy about creature-comforts, every little thing troubles him; but when the heart is taken up with the weighty things of eternity, with the great things of eternal life, the things of here below that disquieted it before are things now of no consequence to him in comparison with the other - how things fall out here is not much regarded by him, if the one thing that is necessary is provided for."

- Jeremiah Burroughs (The Rare Jewel of Christian Contentment)