Grown-Up Christmas Lists

My girls love them some Christmas music! I can easily see them growing up into "those people" who start listening to festive tunes in October (no offense intended to any others who number among them!). Well, this year, they discovered the 24/7 Christmas radio station and now that's all they want to listen to when we're in the car. Since it's at least December now, I've largely obliged them, even if it means occasionally having to sit through such holiday classics as WHAM!'s "Last Christmas", Madonna's version of "Santa Baby" or Band Aid's "Do They Know It's Christmas Time?" (good intentions, awfully patronizing lyrics).

The other day, as Ruth and I were on our way downtown, one of the various covers of "My Grown-Up Christmas List" was playing. When I was younger, I always thought the song was rather sappy, but as the years go on, I find it is more likely to bring legitimate tears to my eyes. This year, it brings to mind Aleppo. It reminds me of the little boy we know whose cancer is progressing, despite many medical interventions, and the 6 kids (among others) who will spend this Christmas without their mother. It calls up broken marriages, children who feel rejected by their peers, people stuck outside in the midst of our recent barrage of snow. There is perhaps no time of year where we feel more keenly the strange juxtaposition of joy and brokenness in a single season. Christmas is about rejoicing, yes. We are celebrating the end of the long wait for the promised Messiah to enter our world and bring justice and peace to reign. But at the same time, we are still very much in a period of waiting for the risen Messiah to come a second time and finally do away with all the tyranny that yet remains in this world.

So Ruth and I are on our way to a wedding (rejoicing!) and I'm contemplating grown-up Christmas lists (brokenness), and she asks me what the song is about. I explain to her that little kids ask to get toys and candy for Christmas, but as we get older, it often becomes more important to us to experience true happiness and peace that we don't get by having stuff. Ruth's response was one of those 6-year-old answers that sometimes surprises us parents with its thoughtfulness: "But Santa can't give you those things. Only God can!"

She's completely right, of course, and yet how often do we all, 6-year-olds and 36-year-olds and 96-year-olds included, try to fill our brokenness with material things, with breakable human relationships, with amazing experiences, with feel-good Christmas tunes and dreams of Santa down the chimney? But putting shiny tinsel and lots of coloured balls on a dying tree won't make it any less brown come New Year's.

The older we get, the more we get to Christmas with thoughts of the loved one who won't be joining us anymore, the reminder of people suffering in our churches, our city, and around the world (and maybe in our own home). And it's not wrong for there to be sadness mixed in with the Christmas celebrations. Jesus has come into the midst of this world's brokenness to save us, and that is cause for rejoicing. But His work on earth is not yet finished and if anything, the mixed-up sentiments of this season should cause us all the more to long for His return when He will make all things new and finally cross off all those items on our grown-up Christmas lists.

There's a reason that song has been recorded by dozens of artists. In the season of "Joy To The World" and "Jingle Bells" all the way, requests to Santa for no more lives torn apart and peace on earth and friends for everyone resonate deeply with all of us who've seen and experienced the losses of life on earth. But as you sing along with Amy Grant or Kelly Clarkson or Michael Bublé or whichever version might be playing on your station this time, don't make it a list for Santa. Make it a prayer to the only one with the power to actually bring it to pass, to the one, indeed, who has promised to bring it to pass. And that's not the innocence of youth and blind belief touted in the song. It's faith in what is really and truly true. Amen. Come, Lord, Jesus!

The people who walked in darkness have seen a great light;

   Those who live in the land of deep darkness, on them has light shone.

You have multiplied the nation; you have increased its joy;

   They rejoice before you as with joy at the harvest, 

   As they are glad when they divide the spoil.

For the yoke of his burden and the staff for his shoulder,

   The rod of his oppressor, you have broken as on the day of Midian.

For every boot of the tramping warrior in battle tumult

   And every garment rolled in blood

   Will be burned as fuel for the fire.

For to us a child is born, 

   To us a son is given;

And the government shall be upon his shoulder,

   And his name shall be called 

Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,

   Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

Of the increase of his government and of peace

   There will be no end,

On the throne of David and over his kingdom,

   To establish it and to uphold it

With justice and with righteousness 

   From this time forth and forevermore.

The zeal of the LORD of hosts will do this.

Isaiah 9:1-9

The Effective Word

When was the last time your words translated into a direct and perfect action? You know, like the time you said, "Go clean up your toys," and the room transformed immediately into a spotless sanctuary? Or when you commanded winter to be done once-and-for-all and flowers instantly began to sprout from the ground? Or when I said I planned to be back to regular blogging in the fall and well, we all know how that turned out. Okay, so maybe those things are a little unrealistic. But even if we limit effective words to the real world, have you kept your word every time you said you'd make a deadline? Kept every promise made to your kids? Experienced complete obedience to commands given to those under your authority?

Yes, there are times when our words are effective, even seemingly perfectly so. But we are so accustomed to the failure of words, even those with the best of intentions, that it easily distorts our view of God's words. How quick we are to doubt His promises, to hold on to anxiety despite the relentless refrain of His unfailing care for us, to pray the weary prayers of the hopeless instead of the confident prayers of beloved children, or to fail to pray at all, not seeing the point in holding God to His word, assuming Him to be just as unreliable as we sometimes are.

But God's words are not like ours. God says, "Let there be light," and it is so. As Tim Keller points out in his new book on prayer, when we say, "Let's turn on the lights," we still have to take the action of flipping a switch to make our words effective. But God's words and His actions are one and the same. His words are active and powerful in and of themselves. He says, "Let there be sun, moon and stars," and doesn't need to send out a construction team to make it happen.

The voice of the Lord is over the waters;
    the God of glory thunders,
    the Lord, over many waters.

The voice of the Lord is powerful;
    the voice of the Lord is full of majesty.

The voice of the Lord breaks the cedars;

    the Lord breaks the cedars of Lebanon.

He makes Lebanon to skip like a calf,

    and Sirion like a young wild ox.

The voice of the Lord flashes forth flames of fire.

The voice of the Lord shakes the wilderness;

    the Lord shakes the wilderness of Kadesh.

The voice of the Lord makes the deer give birth

    and strips the forests bare,

    and in his temple all cry, “Glory!” (Psalm 29)

God's word goes out and accomplishes the purposes for which He sent it. Every. Last. Time. In fact, if God's words equal His actions, then from the moment He speaks, things are springing up into being, even when we do not perceive it. Yes, God often uses agents to carry out His purposes, but even then, the accomplishment is by His word and not because the agents had any special power in themselves.

And if we really get this, it will change the way we think, the way we pray, the way we live. If God's words and actions are equivalent, then every word of God must prove true. Then when He says that He will not leave or forsake you, it's already done. He says, "I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand," and it is so, whether you are feeling it right now or not. He cries out on the cross that "it is finished" and our sin is fully paid for. Done. No take-backs. He promises that the ends of the earth will be filled with His glory and we can be sure that He is active toward that end at this very moment. This is why we can pray confidently when we are praying God's promises back to Him, because if He said it, it is being fulfilled. And if God's words are God's actions, then we can live confidently, too, fully dependent on his reliable promises to save, uphold, protect, provide, guide and complete in us the good work He has begun. In the face of such truth, there is nothing left to do but to "ascribe to the LORD the glory due his name" and "worship the LORD in the splendour of holiness".

I'm not always as good as my word (so no promises on the timing of future posts!). You're not going to live up to every promise you make. And neither of us can turn on the lights just by opening our mouths. But we have a God who speaks and things are. Will that change how you pray and act today?

Prayerful Resolutions, Resolute Prayers

What kind of resolutions have you made this year? Are you the type to make radical, practically unattainable goals that you'll give up 3 weeks from now, or do you fit the profile of the disciplined person who sets attainable goals and won't rest until they are met? Most of us fit into one of these two camps, at least at some point in our lives. I'm typically the latter type: I figure out what I think I can reasonably pull off, and then make sure it gets done (no excuses!). So last year was one of the first years I didn't really make any firm resolutions. Between the puppies, the possibility of a big move, and the scheduling of a major surgery for Nathan, I didn't have any idea what I might be able to accomplish. With the whole year up in the air, I didn't feel the desire to make any goals I didn't know I could keep. No resolutions--I just had a number of big prayers!

Coming into 2014, as I reflect on things I'd like to see by year's end, there are several things that come to mind. But this year, despite our greater stability (and lack of crazy puppy mess), I am realizing that none of my serious desires for this year's life and work are things that I can "pull off". None of them are dependent solely on my effort and discipline. I can't manufacture the money we need to continue on here; I can't make anyone decide that Jesus is worth following; I can invest in relationships, but they are always a two-way street and I don't control the other lane. And I even screw up my lane sometimes! But God has control over all of these things. God can provide; God can save; God can prosper friendships. So I guess this year, I'm left once again with no great resolutions, and several big prayers.

As I think about this, though, it occurs to me that really, it's quite a silly distinction. Do we have any resolutions that we can really accomplish on our own? Do we really have control over our year, even when it starts off looking stable and predictable? And even if the year does go the way we had hoped, even if we lose the weight, never go near the sugar, read all those books, learn that new skill, share the gospel with as many people as we'd vowed, give more money away than we had resolved, if it's all by our own striving, who gets the glory? What does it really matter in the end?

Importunity

"And he told them a parable to the effect that they ought always to pray and not lose heart. He said, 'In a certain city there was a judge who neither feared God nor respected man. And there was a widow in that city who kept coming to him and saying, "Give me justice against my adversary." For a while he refused, but afterward he said to himself, "Though I neither fear God nor respect man, yet because this widow keeps bothering me, I will give her justice, so that she will not beat me down by her continual coming."' And the Lord said, 'Hear what the unrighteous judge says. And will not God give justice to his elect, who cry to him day and night? Will he delay long over them? I tell you, he will give justice to them speedily. Nevertheless, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on earth?'" (Luke 18:1-8)

Persevering in prayer is hard.

As we've had several needs and concerns around us lately--some urgent, others not so much--I've become very aware of my own tendency to pray persistently about a particular issue for several days, maybe even a few weeks, and then to slowly drop off until before I know it, I'm seldom bringing it before God at all.

Sometimes it's because I start to doubt God's goodness and think maybe he doesn't care anymore, as if the One who sent his own Son into our world to die in my place and grant me his righteousness won't also graciously give me all other things that I need.

Sometimes it's because I start to doubt God's power, as if the One who created worlds with a word and breathes new life into bodies so dead they're decomposing can't possibly do anything about this difficult situation.

Other times, it's because I assume that today's "not yet" is tomorrow's "no", so I'd best just not bother God with this request anymore. After all, when my kids ask me for somthing over and over again till the cows come home, it makes me want to scream. Of course, sometimes that also makes me like the unrighteous judge who wants to give them what they want just to get them off my back. And if God is so much more merciful than that, why should I think he'll hold me off forever? In fact, if Jesus himself commands persistence in prayer, then any doubts I might have about whether God would rather I just shut it must be stilled.

And yes, sometimes it's just because I get bored. I get tired of asking again and again and again. And if I've already believed any of those other lies, even in the slightest, my resolve to press on gets very weak.

Jesus didn't tell his disciples to keep knocking and knocking and knocking on his Father's door because it was the natural and easy response. He told them never to give up because our tendency is so often precisely the opposite. But persistence comes with a promise. God does hear, he does care, he has all power, and he will give justice speedily.

"You have many other weapons to use with God in prayer, but our Saviour bids you not neglect this master, all-conquering instrument of importunity [that's bold persistence for modern English speakers]! God will be more easily moved than this unjust judge if only you are as importunate as this widow was. If you are sure it is a right thing for which you are asking, plead now! Plead at noon! Plead at night! Plead on--with cries and tears spread out your case! Put your arguments in order! Back up your pleas with reasons! Urge the precious blood of Jesus! Set the wounds of Christ before the Father's eyes! Bring out the atoning sacrifice--point to Calvary--enlist the crowned Prince, the Priest who stands at the right hand of God! And resolve in your very soul that if Zion does not flourish, if souls are not saved, if your family is not blessed, if your own zeal is not revived, you will die with the plea upon your lips and with the importunate wish upon your spirits!" -C.H. Spurgeon

Asking Big, Seeing Small

We have some big requests for our Heavenly Father right now. We're heading into several months of seriously reduced income due to my husband Nathan's upcoming knee surgery and recovery time, at the same time as we see some very large expenses on the horizon. We have some mountains that need to be moved. We are going to need miraculous provision. And so we've been praying for some very large things lately.

And we believe that God is fully able to provide exactly what we need, though when my mom told us that they were praying that God would answer our needs in such a way that there could be no doubt in our minds that it was His doing, I confess that I wasn't sure whether I liked that idea or not! Big answers have a way of keeping you in suspense till the last minute!

At any rate, on Tuesday, I took 5 puppies to the vet for their shots--the last step before they were ready to leave our house (!!!). Nevermind about how I managed to get them all there and back without losing one (or my mind)... I was anticipating a bill close to $400, because that is what the vet's office quoted me when I called about pricing several weeks ago. And I wasn't worried about that because we had built the cost of the shots into the puppy price. So when I went to the desk at the end, and the receptionist informed me that the bill was $152, I thought I'd misheard because I was too busy trying to make sure the dogs didn't run away while I searched for my credit card. I didn't check again until I had everyone back in the van, and there it was at the bottom of the receipt: $152. I ran through the charges and everything appeared to be in order, at which point I realized that we'd just made a little over $200 extra on these pupppies.

Now I can think of lots of things to do with $200! But it occurred to me on the way home that this was an answer to our prayer. $200 is not much in the face of thousands of dollars, but it is far more than nothing. And lots of 200s eventually add up to thousands. And then I thought: What if we don't need something astounding and "miraculous" so that we'll know that God has answered? What if we need instead to learn to see God's working in the small things? What if a really cheap vet bill is not just our lucky day, but the loving provision of our Father? What if coming away from Costco for $20 less than expected is not just my ability to be frugal, but one of many little answers of our good God to our big request?

It's hard to explain away a sudden $100,000 windfall. We know it is God at work when the cancer just disappears without treatment, or the rebellious child turns into a bold missionary overnight. We are good at praising God for the spectacular, the extraordinary. And we should ask in faith for huge things that only God can do, if it will bring Him glory.

But Lord, give us hearts that not only praise you when the mountain is cast headlong into the sea, but also eyes that see You moving the mountain one inch at a time and hearts that thank you for each tiny step along the way!

Loving My Children as Individuals

In the messiness and mundanity of motherhood, I can easily become very aware of my kids' disobedience, weaknesses and annoying habits, and slowly begin to resent them and their intrusion into my life. I begin to deal with them as if they were people to be dealt with, rather than to be loved and welcomed. But God's Word is very clear that children are a blessing and a heritage from the Lord. They are people created in His image, formed under His watchful care, carried by His sovereign hand from birth to death, and arrows to be sent into the future where we cannot go. And just as we are loved by our heavenly Father, we are to love the children He has put into our care.

Just as it takes exercise to have a healthy body that runs well, we do well to exercise our minds toward love for our children. On Saturday, Nathan took the kids out for the morning, and I was able to have some quiet time (two words that often seem illusive to mothers!) to pray for them. This reminded me of two things that I have found enormously helpful in helping me to see my kids and love them for the image-bearing individual people that they are:

1) Praying for them as individuals
Most of the time, I tend to pray for my kids as a group, even if I list them by name. This is not wrong--we pray for all kinds of people by the group that they belong to. But I have found that on the occasions that I break down "my kids" into individual people and pray specifically for each one with his/her own characteristics, areas for thankfulness, areas of concern and desires for their specific walk with God and their specific futures, I come away from that time more thankful for them and more ready to love them as they are, with all their weaknesses and strengths. And indeed, praying for them like this is a way of loving them. (And it is far more than just an exercise!)

2) Doing a character inventory
In order to pray for them as individuals, I need to know them as individuals. I can't pray with specifics if I don't know what their individual traits and needs are--I need to study my kids. There are many ways to do this, some more formal than others, and the particular method of study is a matter of human wisdom (so don't turn it into a law!) One that I have found really helpful is to occasionally set aside a block of time (either early in the morning, after they've gone to bed, or at a time when Nathan can take them out for some daddy time) to do an inventory of each kid. I think through and write down things that I see as their strengths and weaknesses (start with the strengths so that you're encouraged as you go on to the weaknesses, and not disheartened from the beginning!). I list things that they like and things that they don't. I write notes about where I see them in their walk with God (or lack of one). And then I try to think of a few specific ways that I can encourage their strengths, help them in weaknesses and enjoy their "likes" with them. Now that takes a lot of time with 4 kids, and when I say I do this occasionally, I really mean that it doesn't happen nearly as often as I would like! But especially as my kids get older and their characters become more obvious, I want to make it my goal to do a full inventory once a year, and to review it every once in a while for a reminder. Obviously, with very young kids, you'll need a far less detailed method. A list for my relatively non-verbal 2-year-old is going to be a whole lot shorter than the list for my 8-year-old. But even at the age of 2, especially if it's not your first kid, there are likely a few things you can pick out as individual to that child. A really helpful resource for such an inventory (and for other things related to loving your kids) is the book A Mother's Heart by Jean Fleming (Thanks, Joanne Kerr, for giving that to me a few years ago!). Also, it's a good idea to talk through your thoughts or notes with your husband afterward--he may have important insights to add, and may be helped by your observations as well, especially if you're home with the kids far more than he is.

I think the reason that these "exercises" help me love my kids more is that they force me to see them as far more than just "the kids", which is what they can often appear to be when they are running a circus in my home. They help me to see the things in their individual personalities that are precious blessings from God. They encourage me to seek God's help for their weaknesses and for my relationship with each of them. And I become more aware of the ways that they really are growing and changing as the years go by.

What are some things you do to help you love your kids as individuals (or as a group, for that matter)?

Cars, Papers and Living Words

God always provides what we need.

It's a truth I'm still learning to really believe, and it's a truth my kids don't grasp yet either. My oldest daughter, in particular, is very easily gripped by anxiety when she perceives a need or problem (however small) and can't immediately see how she can fix it. This morning I encountered yet another example of this. It's VBS week (which means it's my week to live in the car) and yesterday, she left some papers at a friend's house that she needed to bring today. She realized this as we were heading out the door, already on the verge of being late. Instantly, her world began to fall to pieces. Anguished outbursts like "Mommy, if I don't have those papers, I'm going to FAIL VBS!" and several "But what ifs" were her contribution to the getting-out-the-door conversation. The mood in the car was no better.

So before we started on their memory verse for the day, I pleaded with my daughter to trust that God knows what we need and always provides it. He knows whether she needs those papers today, so she doesn't need to worry about it. I then related to the kids how Mommy and Daddy are often tempted to be anxious and not trust God's goodness and provision for us. Just this week, Nathan's car was hit (thankfully, he wasn't in it and no one was hurt), and the damage was bad enough that we thought it might be totaled. If so, we'd be needing to purchase a new vehicle, and that would cost us more than the old one was worth--money we didn't have. We had a few days to wait for the damage assessment and during that time, worry was an easy option. But both past experience and--more importantly--God's Word tell us that He always cares for our true needs and so, I told the kids, we prayed that God would provide the right provision for our car need. And because God is always faithful, He did. In His kindness and provision, the car is a hair less than totaled, so it will be fixed at no cost of any of us by the insurance, and we don't need a new vehicle. (And of course, had it actually been totaled, we know God would have somehow provided us with a new one... or a job that didn't require a car... or some other answer I don't yet have a category for!) This, I told my daughter, is how God cares for the details of our lives, and so we must not be anxious, but trust and pray.

Then we turned to the memory verse, which "happened" to be Psalm 46:1. "God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble." After repeating it with them once, it occurred to me that such a verse was immediately applicable to my daughter's trouble with the forgotten VBS papers. I was just about to point this out when she piped up, "Hey, Mommy! This verse is exactly about my situation and what you just said! How did the VBS people know to make this the verse for today?!" ....Which gave me the opportunity to say, "That's God's provision for you! He knew you'd have this trouble today, and He knew that this verse would apply. He's already begun to answer our prayer for provision by providing you with His Word today. That's how good He is, that He makes even those little details work together for your good." And then we talked about what it means for God to be our refuge, and an ever-present one at that.

She was left in wonder that a seemingly "random" VBS Bible verse could be given by God to speak directly into her day, and I was left praising the God who opens the eyes even of little children to see and hear how His words apply to their lives (and mine!).

Thank you, Lord, for not only allowing my daugher to hear your Word regularly from infancy, but also for granting her the faith-building experience of seeing your Word come alive to her in the midst of her very present 8-year-old troubles. May we all grow in trusting your good and gracious provision for our lives, not only in fixed cars or found papers, but also especially in your living Word to your people!

The Glorious God Who Hears

I was reflecting this morning on Paige Benton Brown's conference message from 1 Kings 8 and in rereading the passage, was struck by these words: 


"But will God indeed dwell on the earth? Behold, heaven and the highest heaven cannot contain you; how much less this house that I have built! Yet have regard to the prayer of your servant and to his plea, O Lord my God, listening to the cry and to the prayer that your servant prays before you this day, that your eyes may be open night and day toward this house, the place of which you have said, 'My name shall be there,' that you may listen to the prayer that your servant offers toward this place. And listen to the plea of your servant and of your people Israel, when they pray toward this place. And listen in heaven your dwelling place, and when you hear, forgive... If there is famine in the land, if there is pestilence or blight or mildew or locust or caterpillar, if their enemy besieges them in the land at their gates, whatever plague, whatever sickness there is, whatever prayer, whatever plea is made by any man or by all your people Israel, each knowing the affliction of his own heart and stretching out his hands toward this house, then hear in heaven your dwelling place and forgive and act and render to each whose heart you know, according to all his ways ( for you, you only, know the hearts of all the children of mankind), that they may fear you all the days that they live in the land that you gave to our fathers." (1 Kings 8:27-30, 37-40)


God cannot be contained by even the highest heaven; He is all-glorious, all-holy, all-knowing. And yet, He has regard for the prayers of His people, not only to forgive (glorious truth!), but also to hear and act on the many and varying afflictions, however small, that His people lift up with humble hands toward Him, and all to the praise of His glorious grace! It reminded me of Hebrews 4:14-16:


"Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need."


What an encouragement to pray! Through Christ then, let us come before this glorious and lofty God, who hears and forgives His people!

Lord of the Fleas

Every year, the week before Easter, our church has a special week devoted to prayer and specific Bible study. Every year, there is spiritual growth in the church as a result of that week. And every year, that week is full of multiple difficulties and trials.

This year was no different. It was the week that the kids were all at each other's throats, with a particularly nasty brand of infighting. It was the week that the schedule did not go as planned (not that this doesn't happen often, but it was particularly noticeable this time). And it was the culmination of the weeks of mystery bugs.

A few weeks before, the weather had warmed up to almost summer temperatures (well, actual summer temperatures for Ontario). The kids were outside a lot, playing in the newly growing grass. And they were getting some bug bites, of which I thought nothing, because I'd seen some mosquitoes out for an early spring rendezvous. But then the weather got colder and rainier and the kids were inside. They were still getting bug bites, and so were we. And as the tallies started ramping up to 10-15 new bites on at least one of us every day, the anxiety started creeping in. My first thought was "fleas", because we have a dog, and because the bites were consistent with flea bites. But I couldn't find evidence of fleas anywhere, and they're usually not too hard to spot. So then we started thinking "bed bugs"... Uggghh! You know that creepy-crawly feeling you get when you think hard enough about little biting bugs? Well, we were feeling it all the time. We searched the beds, the mattresses, the couch... to no avail. There were no visible bugs in the house, and yet "they" were eating us alive.

So by the beginning of the Week of Prayer, as I was writing on anxiety, I was being forced to actively implement the things I was writing about. My prayers went something like this: "Lord, something is eating us, and we can't figure it out, and if it's bed bugs, I don't even want to think about the cost and effort to get rid of them, not to mention the fact that I'll probably have the creepy-crawlies for the rest of my life! Please help me to cast these anxieties on you, knowing that you are the Lord of even the tiniest, unseen bug. And Lord, please give us wisdom to know how to proceed! Please show us what is biting us! And whether you do that or not, you are the God who brought the gnats and flies in to Egypt and back out again, so you are able to command these mystery bugs to move out. I fully believe you are able to cast them out of this house, but if it takes me lots of work and money, help me to be content in your sovereign care for me."

By mid week, I was starting to feel desperate. I mean, anxiety is hard enough to deal with when you know all the variables and they're just beyond your control. But it's far more difficult when you are not in control AND you have no idea what is going on. And yet, even then, we must fight to cast those anxieties on the one who IS in control and knows perfectly well what is going on, and what the outcome will be.

Now I know that God does not always answer our prayers in the way that we would like, or in the way we deem best. And in those cases, He still has our best in view, and knows we need something other than we have asked for. But I am writing this blog post because sometimes He does answer our prayers swiftly and just as we have asked, in ways so clear that it cannot be coincidence and must be the work of our caring and powerful Father, and I am so compelled to greater faith in His mighty care for us, even in the small things, that it must be shared.

On Wednesday morning, I was so tired of the itching and the kids' complaining and the uncertainty of the source of all this that my prayer was simply, "Lord, show us the bugs and/or march every last one of them out of this house and far away! Just order them to go!" And I believed He could do it, but I admit that I was expecting to be taught some patience and hard work instead.

Well, Wednesday afternoon, as I was doing the laundry, I noticed that the dog's bed was significantly dirtier than it had been the previous day, so I figured I should throw it in the wash. Now I had checked the bedding several times before and seen nothing, but as I lifted the blankets out... yep, there they were - those dirty little creatures, jumping around all over the place. And while many people might be horrified at the sight of a bunch of fleas making a home in the dog bed, I was actually relieved to see them. Mystery solved! And I was ready to take anything easier to deal with than bed bugs. So we did a bunch of laundry and vacuuming, and quarantined the dog outside because right at that moment, we didn't feel up to dealing with a bath, and didn't have the necessary supplies on hand anyway.

Since the weather was reasonably nice, she ended up staying outside for a couple days before we got around to bathing her. But we finally decided we'd better just get it done. So we brought her back in and soaped her up and then ran her coat through with a flea comb, expecting from the number of bugs we'd found in her bed that she'd be horribly infested. But we did not find a single one. Or a single egg. She was completely free of any sign of fleas. And from that weekend on, the bites stopped. I was fairly diligent about the laundry and vacuuming for another week or so, but even that dropped back to its normal schedule, and they haven't returned. And I have no explanation for it other than that God commanded those bugs to leave, and out they went.

So I just want to testify to the fact that God is in control even of the movements and lives of tiny, annoying, biting bugs, and that He cares not only for our major life decisions and great crises, but also for just how long a bunch of relatively insignificant and certainly invisible fleas will be allowed to bother your family. He is also fully able to answer prayers for miracles with the miraculous. So may we be spurred on to pray more often, with more faith, even about more insignificant things.

Hope and Help For the Trials of Motherhood: Part 4

A Mother's Peace


"Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you." (1 Peter 5:6,7)


Motherhood is full of anxieties. We start off waking up multiple times a night just to make sure that the newborn is still breathing. Then we try our very best to guard them against harm by installing all kinds of child safety locks (often more effective at keeping parents out than kids!) and by guiding their every move at the playground. If they go off to public school (or any other activity away from home), we may anxiously await their safe return at the end of the day. We fear the teenage years, we fear the learner's permit, we fear that they might meet the right person, we fear that they might never meet the right person. And in between, we worry daily about all kinds of minute details of their lives and ours.


But not only does humbling ourselves under God's mighty hand mean that we are content with the circumstances He is currently placing into our lives, it also means that we are not anxious about the circumstances that He may, or may not, bring into our lives in the future, whether that future is later today or 20 years from now. We are not seeking to control our circumstances on our own by continually mulling over the possibilities, by rehearsing a thousand different ways to deal with the unknown future, by trying to pull ourselves through the scary situations of the present by the strength of our own fear. Temptations to anxiety are ever-present, but we must fight those temptations if we are to submit ourselves to God's rule in our lives.


Just as with contentment, it would be easy to write a whole book on anxiety (and it's been done, I'm sure). But I want to keep this manageable, so I'm going to focus on 1 Peter 5:6-7 here.


Peter gives us two things as the antidote to anxiety in this passage: one of doing, and one of knowing.


1) DO: In the first part of verse 7, Peter tells us to cast our anxieties on the Lord. We are not strong enough to carry the weight of fear and anxiety, but God is. And He is not only able to carry our burdens, He WANTS them. He tells us over and over again in Scripture to give our load to Him. The future is not ours to control (and if you think about it honestly, do you really want to live in a future controlled by sinful man?). We don't know what's really best for our lives, but God does. So the safest place for the future and all our anxieties about it is in God's hands. "Cast your burden on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved" (Psalm 55:22). Note also, that we are not to reluctantly hand over our burdens, we're not to quietly slide them over to God when no one is looking to see that we're really not in control. Peter (quoting David) tells us to CAST them! Use all your strength, all your will, all the Spirit's power at work within you, and toss that anxiety toward God and as far away from you as possible!


And what does it look like for us to cast our burdens on the Lord? It looks like prayer. Whether it is concerted prayer alone in the quiet of your room for an hour, or (more likely for the mother of young children) a fairly quick prayer offered up in the middle of running after a child or washing the dishes, perhaps the same prayer offered up 20 times over the course of the day, pray all your anxieties to God. In fact, don't wait for a quiet opportunity (though when you do have time for quiet, pray long and hard). When you feel anxiety creeping in, don't carry it around, don't wallow in it, don't even entertain it. Take that anxiety to the Lord and cast it on Him immediately! It only grows bigger and harder to cast the longer you hang on to it.


And Paul tells us, in Philippians 4, that the prayer we offer against anxiety is not only to be a prayer of petition and supplication for help and peace; it is to be a prayer of thanksgiving. Just as we remind ourselves of God's mercies when we're tempted to discontentment, we need to remind ourselves of God's mercies when we're tempted to fear and anxiety. 


And why?


2) KNOW: Peter tells us in the second part of verse 7 that we do this because we know that He cares for us. I think the majority of my anxieties come from not believing that God loves me and is working for my good. I fear that He will send terrible things to me as punishment because I don't fully believe that Christ took all the punishment for me at the cross. But the Bible is very clear that God DOES love us, that our punishment HAS been dealt with, and that God ONLY gives steadfast love and mercy to His children all the time.  


And sometimes I don't take my "small" anxieties to the Lord because I assume he cares about me, but only really about the big things - my salvation, decisions about who to marry, or a big move, or a life-threatening illness. I assume that such a big God couldn't possibly care less about whether I get a nice meal together for company, or whether my child catches a cold, or whether the car repairs are more expensive than I was expecting, or whether I have enough hours in this day to finish my "to do" list. I don't take those worry-producing thoughts to God, because I don't think He cares enough. 


But the Bible tells believers that God is our father. A parent cares about the "minutia" of their child's day. If I love my kids, I'm not just thinking about where they'll go to school, or who they'll marry, or whether they will trust the Lord. I don't just leave them to tend to all the other details. I make sure they have matching clothes to wear, that they have good food to eat for each and every meal and all the snacks in between. If they stub their toe, I kiss it better, even if it's just a little toe. I brush their hair and cut it when it gets too long. I teach them their letters. I make sure their math worksheets get done. If I skipped one of these activities for just one day, would it kill them? No. But I love them, and desire their comfort and their good, so I care for their little needs all day long. And when I am walking in the Spirit, I am doing all these things not begrudgingly, but with love and pleasure. 


Well that is how God the Father treats us, only He is completely perfect and holy, so he ALWAYS cares for EVERY detail with love and pleasure.  Matthew 6:25-34 tells us that we aren't to worry about little things like food and clothes because God even cares for what the birds eat and the flowers wear, and how much more His children!


When we are tempted to believe that God doesn't care for us, we need to meditate on Scripture. This is the God who controls our past, present and future:


"The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love;he will exult over you with loud singing." (Zephaniah 3:17)  


"For you are a people holy to the Lord your God. The Lord your God has chosen you to be a people for his treasured possession, out of all the peoples who are on the face of the earth. It was not because you were more in number than any other people that the Lord set his love on you and chose you, for you were the fewest of all peoples, but it is because the Lord loves you and is keeping the oath that he swore to your fathers, that the Lord has brought you out with a mighty hand and redeemed you from the house of slavery, from the hand of Pharaoh king of Egypt." (Deuteronomy 7:6-8)


"But let all who take refuge in you rejoice;
    let them ever sing for joy,and spread your protection over them,
    that those who love your name may exult in you. 
For you bless the righteous, O Lord;
    you cover him with favor as with a shield." (Psalm 5:11-12)



"All the paths of the Lord are steadfast love and faithfulness,
    for those who keep his covenant and his testimonies." (Psalm 25:10)


"How precious is your steadfast love, O God.
    The children of mankind take refuge in the shadow of your wings." (Psalm 36:7)


"But I will sing of your strength;
    I will sing aloud of your steadfast love in the morning.
For you have been to me a fortress 
    and a refuge in the day of my distress.
O my Strength, I will sing praises to you,
    for you, O God, are my fortress,
    the God who shows me steadfast love." (Psalm 59:16-17)


"For I am the Lord your God,
    the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.
I give Egypt as your ransom,
    Cush and Seba in exchange for you.
Because you are precious in my eyes,
    and honored, and I love you,
I give men in return for you,
    peoples in exchange for your life.
Fear not, for I am with you;
    I will bring your offspring from the east,
    and from the west I will gather you." (Isaiah 43:3-5)


"For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers,³⁹ nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Romans 8:38-39)


Are you tempted to be anxious today? I know I have been! Let us together remember to cast those anxieties on God, and to rest in His unending care for our every moment. 
            

A Prayer for Contentment

I recommend memorizing this Psalm, so it's available for your prayers whether you have your Bible with you or not. It's one of my go-to Psalms for trials and temptations to be discontent. 

Psalm 103

English Standard Version (ESV)

Of David.

103 Bless the Lord, O my soul,
    and all that is within me,
    bless his holy name!
² Bless the Lord, O my soul,
    and forget not all his benefits,
³ who forgives all your iniquity,
    who heals all your diseases,
⁴ who redeems your life from the pit,
    who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy,
⁵ who satisfies you with good
    so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.

⁶ The Lord works righteousness
    and justice for all who are oppressed.
⁷ He made known his ways to Moses,
    his acts to the people of Israel.
⁸ The Lord is merciful and gracious,
    slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.
⁹ He will not always chide,
    nor will he keep his anger forever.
¹⁰ He does not deal with us according to our sins,
    nor repay us according to our iniquities.
¹¹ For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
    so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him;
¹² as far as the east is from the west,
    so far does he remove our transgressions from us.
¹³ As a father shows compassion to his children,
    so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him.
¹⁴ For he knows our frame;
    he remembers that we are dust.

¹⁵ As for man, his days are like grass;
    he flourishes like a flower of the field;
¹⁶ for the wind passes over it, and it is gone,
    and its place knows it no more.
¹⁷ But the steadfast love of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear him,
    and his righteousness to children's children,
¹⁸ to those who keep his covenant
    and remember to do his commandments.
¹⁹ The Lord has established his throne in the heavens,
    and his kingdom rules over all.

²⁰ Bless the Lord, O you his angels,
    you mighty ones who do his word,
    obeying the voice of his word!
²¹ Bless the Lord, all his hosts,
    his ministers, who do his will!
²² Bless the Lord, all his works,
    in all places of his dominion.
Bless the Lord, O my soul!