"It is not good for the man to be alone." Right from the beginning of the world, God declares the very not-goodness of a human in isolation. It was not enough for Adam to have animals to care for and land to cultivate. He was created in the image of a God who lives in community in the Trinity; he needed another human being--a helper and companion. And nothing has changed since.
You may think I'm about to talk about marriage, but I'm not--at least not specifically. Though the first human relationship at creation was a married couple, the not-goodness of man being alone does not merely speak to marriage. It speaks to a broader in-born need for community that runs throughout the Bible. And in a book that deals with living life wisely in the midst of toil and trouble, Ecclesiastes does not fail to mention the importance of living in community with others.
"Again, I saw vanity under the sun: one person who has no other, either son or brother, yet there is no end to all his toil, and his eyes are never satisfied with riches, so that he never asks, 'For whom am I toiling and depriving myself of pleasure?' This also is vanity and an unhappy business.
Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him--a threefold cord is not easily broken." (Eccl. 4:7-12)
In a world where there is so much futility and evil and death, we gain immeasurable riches by living our lives in community with others. Ecclesiastes gives us 5 things we gain by living in community:
1) Community is a place for service. 'For whom am I toiling and depriving myself of pleasure?' This also is vanity and an unhappy business. If I am merely working toward my own ends, for my own gain, I end up gaining nothing, and my toiling is a very unhappy business. When we live in community with others, we gain ample opportunities to serve, to work for the gain of others, to be last so that others might be first. And this brings joy and happiness to our work. I can enjoy the labour of making bread well enough, but the real joy in that labour comes in seeing others benefit from it as they enjoy the eating. What's more, even when the labour itself is hard and unpleasant, or seems to yield little fruit, there is a blessing in the simple grace of being in it with another, having someone to commiserate, to weep with you in the failure, to laugh with you over the futility.
2) Community is a place for increased fruit. Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. One person working by himself can only do so much. As soon as another person joins him, the amount of work done more than doubles. If you have a group of people working together toward the same end, the potential for fruit grows exponentially. We have seen this here in Liberty Village, and it is true in any community. The Body of Christ is more fruitful when each member is working together with the others toward a common goal for the glory of God.
3) Community is a place for help. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! When we are all on our own, and we fall into sin or error or difficult circumstances, we have no one to help us up. We need others around us who will pick us up when we fall, who will help carry our burdens and point us to the gospel. And we need to be help for others in their time of need, as well.
4) Community is an place for comfort. Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? The picture Ecclesiastes gives us is one of travellers sleeping outside on a cold night--they are warmer when they share body heat than when each sleeps by himself. And it is the same in this cold, dark world. Where life is full of feelings of futility, intense trials and mundane ones, weariness and uncertainty, we desperately need the warmth of community to provide comfort for the weary and hope for the downcast.
5) Community is a place for protection. And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him--a threefold cord is not easily broken. Life is not like the movies, where one guy routinely beats down 20 attackers in his own strength. Left to ourselves, one attacker can be enough to destroy us. But there is safety in numbers. In a world where wisdom is not always clear, where sin trips us up, where the church gets persecuted and Satan is always on the prowl, we do not do well to try and fight alone. We need the protection of the community, those who will stand with us on the day of battle, and still be standing with us when it is all over.
Are you trying to live your life on your own, serving your own ends, working by yourself, pulling yourself up, seeking comfort through your own means, trying to fight multiple attackers off by yourself? It is not good for a human to be alone! Even where living in community is hard, where it requires confession and forgiveness, when it means we have to give up some of our preferences to serve others, where we can't live on our own timetable, the benefits far outweigh the risks! God has made us for community, so let us be intentional about living in it.
Showing posts with label Church. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Church. Show all posts
Friday, November 22, 2013
Thursday, June 27, 2013
Room For All
"The evangelical culture ties together faithfulness with extroversion. The emphasis is on community, on participating in more and more programs and events, on meeting more and more people. It's a constant tension for many introverts that they're not living that out. And in a religious world, there's more at stake when you feel that tension. It doesn't feel like 'I'm not doing as well as I'd like.' It feels like 'God isn't pleased with me.'"
Is there room in the church for introverts? This is one of the questions Susan Cain asks in her fascinating--and fairly helpful--book Quiet
. (She's not just picking on the church--she asks the same about the business and education worlds.) Cain writes about the difficulty fitting in and flourishing that introverts may find in all the community- and interaction-oriented activities in the typical evangelical church and concludes that we have "taken the Extrovert Ideal to its logical extreme... If you don't love Jesus out loud, then it must not be real love. It's not enough to forge your own spiritual connection to the divine; it must be displayed publicly. Is it any wonder that introverts... start to question their own hearts?" (emphasis hers).
So, is there room in the church for introverts? Yes, yes, and yes again for good measure! It is true that some things done in church services and meetings make introverts feel uncomfortable (a common example is the "greet your neighbour" moment). And yes, some of these things may be done with little thought given to how introverts, or new people, or people with disabilities or others might react. But the simple fact of the matter is that there are many parts of being a Christian that are biblically commanded that make introverts feel uncomfortable. Show hospitality to strangers; do not neglect the assembly of believers; we believe and so we also speak; be very bold... Does that mean God loves extroverts more? By no means! There are plenty of biblical commandments that introverts may find more simple, while the extrovert sitting next to them is squirming(2): be slow to speak (and quick to hear, though McHugh has written a good post on the stereotype of introverts as good listeners and extroverts as poor ones), let no corrupting talk come out of your mouth, but only what is useful for building others up, pray, meditate on God's word day and night... And then there are those that are hard for all of us, like "bless those who persecute you".
The truth is that God's standards are not all easy for anyone to follow, whether you are an introvert or an extrovert, a child or an adult, a man or a woman, rural or urban, Chinese, German, Canadian or Rwandan. There are parts of God's character that some of us find easier to follow than others, but each of us will come across points that make us uncomfortable, that require serious effort. In fact, we will all encounter areas in following Jesus that require nothing less than the power of God's spirit working through us to accomplish, our own personal offering being nothing but weakness and insufficiency!
That is how I have sometimes felt about participating in church gatherings. Some days that's hard for me--I feel the nagging temptation to stay home and be quiet. And yes, there's a good time and a place for quiet, for sure. But one of the defining characteristics of a follower of Jesus is that he is no longer his own, no longer independent. God makes him a member of Jesus' body, to work together with other Christians as members of the same body. That's pretty intense and intimate imagery for an introvert! That's getting into my space just a little more than I'd like! And that's why I need God's grace to live this way, just like the stereotypical extrovert needs God's grace to sit still and meditate on God's Word for a while, even though friends are calling on her to come be social.
Furthermore, whether it is "comfortable" or not, loving Jesus out loud is part of truly loving Jesus. James says that faith without works is dead, and the Bible is full of exhortations to speak God's truth and declare God's praise. If no one else on the planet ever sees you act or speak in a way that demonstrates love for Jesus, you should question your heart, just as you might be questioned on your love for your spouse if you never did or said anything public to show it. However, "public faith" doesn't mean you have to be standing up on the pew, shouting for all the world to hear. Yes, it might make you uncomfortable nonetheless. But Christianity isn't about being comfortable--not in this life anyway. We worship a crucified Jesus and he was NOT comfortable on that cross! But he went there so we didn't have to take the punishment for all the times we are too afraid to love Jesus out loud, for all the times we don't pray, don't invite that lonely person over when we feel the Spirit nudging us, don't shut up and really listen. And he gives us his spirit so that we can have grace and power to live like he did, even when it doesn't suit our personality profile or our dreams.
I know for a fact that there are aspects of Christianity that make plenty of extroverts feel like God isn't pleased with them, like they're not living up to His standards. But the point is that none of us can meet them all. That's why we need Jesus--because we are weak, imperfect people who can't do it on our own. (In fact, the only people Jesus said he didn't come for were the self-righteous, who think they can please God in their own strength.) As my husband likes to say, we don't need a crutch; we need a stretcher! It's also why we need the church--we need the strength of our brothers and sisters to help our weaknesses and they need us for the same reason.
And this is where God gets the glory: when he takes weak, sinful, needy people, gives them Jesus' record of perfection--whereby we also gain his eternal pleasure and affirmation--and puts all our different personalities, giftings, backgrounds and, yes, weaknesses together in one body called the Church, and then shows the power of his Spirit when he works through these same people to transform the world. It's not about me and my temperament needs. It's about him and his glory. So come in, all you introverts! Join us, all you extroverts! Follow Jesus, all you men, women, boys and girls! And bring them in from the four corners of the earth!
"Here there is not Greek and Jew, circumcised and uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave, free [introvert, extrovert]; but Christ is all, and in all." (Colossians 3:11)
A couple questions to consider:
-Are there things we do in our churches that unnecessarily cause certain kinds of people discomfort? Is there a more accommodating way we could accomplish the same goal? Are we showing appreciation for the quieter servants among us?
-Are there things that God has asked us to do that I am avoiding because it doesn't suit my "natural inclinations" or temperament?
_______________________________________
Notes:
1) As described by Cain, I think Adam McHugh comes across as fairly negative toward the Church and its expectations of introverts. However, in his own personal writings, he is much more balanced, and offers both critique of the church's dealings with introverts AND honest, helpful encouragement to introverts who need to grow in the way they function in the church community.
2) The whole discussion of introverts and extroverts is unfortunately based largely on stereotypes. I'd like to explore this a little more in another post, but for the time being, when I use the terms "introvert" and "extrovert", I'm using them according to standard (western) cultural usage. You may or may not fit the stereotype.
- Adam McHugh (1), as quoted in Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking by Susan Cain
by Susan CainIs there room in the church for introverts? This is one of the questions Susan Cain asks in her fascinating--and fairly helpful--book Quiet
. (She's not just picking on the church--she asks the same about the business and education worlds.) Cain writes about the difficulty fitting in and flourishing that introverts may find in all the community- and interaction-oriented activities in the typical evangelical church and concludes that we have "taken the Extrovert Ideal to its logical extreme... If you don't love Jesus out loud, then it must not be real love. It's not enough to forge your own spiritual connection to the divine; it must be displayed publicly. Is it any wonder that introverts... start to question their own hearts?" (emphasis hers).So, is there room in the church for introverts? Yes, yes, and yes again for good measure! It is true that some things done in church services and meetings make introverts feel uncomfortable (a common example is the "greet your neighbour" moment). And yes, some of these things may be done with little thought given to how introverts, or new people, or people with disabilities or others might react. But the simple fact of the matter is that there are many parts of being a Christian that are biblically commanded that make introverts feel uncomfortable. Show hospitality to strangers; do not neglect the assembly of believers; we believe and so we also speak; be very bold... Does that mean God loves extroverts more? By no means! There are plenty of biblical commandments that introverts may find more simple, while the extrovert sitting next to them is squirming(2): be slow to speak (and quick to hear, though McHugh has written a good post on the stereotype of introverts as good listeners and extroverts as poor ones), let no corrupting talk come out of your mouth, but only what is useful for building others up, pray, meditate on God's word day and night... And then there are those that are hard for all of us, like "bless those who persecute you".
The truth is that God's standards are not all easy for anyone to follow, whether you are an introvert or an extrovert, a child or an adult, a man or a woman, rural or urban, Chinese, German, Canadian or Rwandan. There are parts of God's character that some of us find easier to follow than others, but each of us will come across points that make us uncomfortable, that require serious effort. In fact, we will all encounter areas in following Jesus that require nothing less than the power of God's spirit working through us to accomplish, our own personal offering being nothing but weakness and insufficiency!
That is how I have sometimes felt about participating in church gatherings. Some days that's hard for me--I feel the nagging temptation to stay home and be quiet. And yes, there's a good time and a place for quiet, for sure. But one of the defining characteristics of a follower of Jesus is that he is no longer his own, no longer independent. God makes him a member of Jesus' body, to work together with other Christians as members of the same body. That's pretty intense and intimate imagery for an introvert! That's getting into my space just a little more than I'd like! And that's why I need God's grace to live this way, just like the stereotypical extrovert needs God's grace to sit still and meditate on God's Word for a while, even though friends are calling on her to come be social.
Furthermore, whether it is "comfortable" or not, loving Jesus out loud is part of truly loving Jesus. James says that faith without works is dead, and the Bible is full of exhortations to speak God's truth and declare God's praise. If no one else on the planet ever sees you act or speak in a way that demonstrates love for Jesus, you should question your heart, just as you might be questioned on your love for your spouse if you never did or said anything public to show it. However, "public faith" doesn't mean you have to be standing up on the pew, shouting for all the world to hear. Yes, it might make you uncomfortable nonetheless. But Christianity isn't about being comfortable--not in this life anyway. We worship a crucified Jesus and he was NOT comfortable on that cross! But he went there so we didn't have to take the punishment for all the times we are too afraid to love Jesus out loud, for all the times we don't pray, don't invite that lonely person over when we feel the Spirit nudging us, don't shut up and really listen. And he gives us his spirit so that we can have grace and power to live like he did, even when it doesn't suit our personality profile or our dreams.
I know for a fact that there are aspects of Christianity that make plenty of extroverts feel like God isn't pleased with them, like they're not living up to His standards. But the point is that none of us can meet them all. That's why we need Jesus--because we are weak, imperfect people who can't do it on our own. (In fact, the only people Jesus said he didn't come for were the self-righteous, who think they can please God in their own strength.) As my husband likes to say, we don't need a crutch; we need a stretcher! It's also why we need the church--we need the strength of our brothers and sisters to help our weaknesses and they need us for the same reason.
And this is where God gets the glory: when he takes weak, sinful, needy people, gives them Jesus' record of perfection--whereby we also gain his eternal pleasure and affirmation--and puts all our different personalities, giftings, backgrounds and, yes, weaknesses together in one body called the Church, and then shows the power of his Spirit when he works through these same people to transform the world. It's not about me and my temperament needs. It's about him and his glory. So come in, all you introverts! Join us, all you extroverts! Follow Jesus, all you men, women, boys and girls! And bring them in from the four corners of the earth!
"Here there is not Greek and Jew, circumcised and uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave, free [introvert, extrovert]; but Christ is all, and in all." (Colossians 3:11)
A couple questions to consider:
-Are there things we do in our churches that unnecessarily cause certain kinds of people discomfort? Is there a more accommodating way we could accomplish the same goal? Are we showing appreciation for the quieter servants among us?
-Are there things that God has asked us to do that I am avoiding because it doesn't suit my "natural inclinations" or temperament?
_______________________________________
Notes:
1) As described by Cain, I think Adam McHugh comes across as fairly negative toward the Church and its expectations of introverts. However, in his own personal writings, he is much more balanced, and offers both critique of the church's dealings with introverts AND honest, helpful encouragement to introverts who need to grow in the way they function in the church community.
2) The whole discussion of introverts and extroverts is unfortunately based largely on stereotypes. I'd like to explore this a little more in another post, but for the time being, when I use the terms "introvert" and "extrovert", I'm using them according to standard (western) cultural usage. You may or may not fit the stereotype.
Monday, July 16, 2012
When My Pastor Speaks
I've spent the last couple weeks going over my notes from the TGCW Conference, and as I've reread the passages and made a neater, more concise set of personal notes, I've gotten to thinking about how infrequently I do this on a regular week after my regular local church service. I mean, I used to take good notes every Sunday until the notebook and pen were replaced by wriggling babies. But the babies are older now, and I almost always have my hands free during the service. At some point I heard some defense of trading in note-taking for better, more attentive listening, and thought I'd give it a try. And then I just got lazy. Now it may be true that you miss a few things when you're busy taking notes. But whether you take notes or not (and from my own experience, note-taking does help concepts stick in your head, and you have the opportunity to review them later), when was the last time you spent Monday morning revisiting the Scripture passage from Sunday, meditating on it, praying for the Spirit's help to apply your pastor's sermon? These days, when many churches make the sermons available online, you can even go back and listen to it again for all those things you missed while you were taking notes. But while many people who've been to a conference with world-renowned preachers hang on their every word and spend time later meditating on the truths they've heard, those same people (myself admittedly included) often come distracted to church on Sunday and the sermon is out of their minds by the end of the day, never to be thought of again. My brothers and sisters, this should not be so!
Yes, it's been said before, but I need a refresher, so here are 6 reasons why it's actually MORE important to listen attentively to and meditate on your pastor's sermons than John Piper's or Tim Keller's (unless, of course, they are your local church pastor!):
1) Your pastor labours for you
C.J. Mahaney does not know you. He is not praying for you by name. Your burdens and joys are not his. But your pastor does know you, pray for you and share your life and that of the other members of your local church. So when he speaks, he is speaking to YOU--someone he cares for, someone whose trials and celebrations he knows and can speak directly into. And he puts in countless hours of study and preparation to bring God's Word to you. Listen to him. He is your God-given shepherd, and he is working for you. (1 Thess. 2:7-12, 5:12,13)
2) Your pastor is accountable for you
When he stands before the judgment seat of Christ on the last day, he will have to give an account for his leadership and care of the flock he was assigned. If he has not led faithfully, that will be his to answer for, but if he has been faithful and you have not listened, will you want to answer for that? And he knows that he carries the burden of care for your soul, so when he speaks, he speaks with that weight on his shoulders. Matt Chandler will not be asked about his care of you, but your pastor will. So your pastor's words should carry more weight with you. Labour to make his accounting a joy and not a sorrow! (Hebrews 3:17, 1 Corinthians 4:1-5)
3) Your pastor speaks the passions and visions of your local body
Every church has slightly different emphases and visions. Mars Hill looks different from Redeemer, which looks different from Bethlehem, which looks different from Covenant Life. They all look a little different from your church. And that's okay! They are led by different men with different styles and visions. As long as the gospel is central, we should seek to embrace the community and passions of our local church (as far as they are in accordance with Scripture, of course). And these passions are primarily caught from the pulpit. If we are not listening, or are listening more attentively to Mark Driscoll (or insert other big name here), we will have a vision that differs from our own church, and it will be very difficult for our leaders to take us in the direction they believe God has for our church. Which leads me to...
4) It brings unity to the body
If in a local church, we are all listening to the same man (or men) each week, and seeking to understand and apply the messages, we will all be on the same path together, learning together, working together, envisioning the future together, passionate about the same things. This makes for a glorious unity of purpose within the local church, better enables each member of the body to do its part for the whole, and often gives the church a more active, visible presence in the broader community. (Ephesians 4:11-16)
5) Your pastor speaks Christ to you
You would not ignore Christ if He spoke to you face-to-face. You would certainly run home and try to get it down on paper, and return to your notes often, seeking to diligently apply all that he had said. Well, when God's Word is faithfully preached, Christ is there by his Spirit, speaking to you. If we would not ignore Christ in the flesh, we should not ignore Him when He speaks through His servants. And yes, they may err. They may not preach perfectly. But if your pastor is a godly, faithful man, when he addresses you with the Word, you'd best believe that Christ is there in the bulk of it. And if there is error, how will you know unless you spend time poring over the same texts, revisiting and meditating on your notes? (2 Corinthians 4:1-6, 5:18-20, Acts 17:11)
6)You need food more than once a year!
A conference is a feast: piles of messages by articulate, charismatic speakers--so many, in fact, that you often feel like you're about to burst before it's even over. But just like you still need to eat the day after Thanksgiving (or at least by the second day!), you can't live on a once-a-year spiritual feast either. You need a regular diet of God-glorifying, Gospel-centred truth from the Scriptures. It's great to have a little growth spurt after a sermon by Don Carson, but it won't keep you alive for very long if you don't make use of the regular food source at your own church. Enjoy the conference, learn from it! But don't starve yourself when it's over! (Hebrews 10:24-25)
Have I convinced you yet? Because I've convinced myself :) I think this Sunday will find me with pen and paper in hand, ready to listen, learn and apply.
Yes, it's been said before, but I need a refresher, so here are 6 reasons why it's actually MORE important to listen attentively to and meditate on your pastor's sermons than John Piper's or Tim Keller's (unless, of course, they are your local church pastor!):
1) Your pastor labours for you
C.J. Mahaney does not know you. He is not praying for you by name. Your burdens and joys are not his. But your pastor does know you, pray for you and share your life and that of the other members of your local church. So when he speaks, he is speaking to YOU--someone he cares for, someone whose trials and celebrations he knows and can speak directly into. And he puts in countless hours of study and preparation to bring God's Word to you. Listen to him. He is your God-given shepherd, and he is working for you. (1 Thess. 2:7-12, 5:12,13)
2) Your pastor is accountable for you
When he stands before the judgment seat of Christ on the last day, he will have to give an account for his leadership and care of the flock he was assigned. If he has not led faithfully, that will be his to answer for, but if he has been faithful and you have not listened, will you want to answer for that? And he knows that he carries the burden of care for your soul, so when he speaks, he speaks with that weight on his shoulders. Matt Chandler will not be asked about his care of you, but your pastor will. So your pastor's words should carry more weight with you. Labour to make his accounting a joy and not a sorrow! (Hebrews 3:17, 1 Corinthians 4:1-5)
3) Your pastor speaks the passions and visions of your local body
Every church has slightly different emphases and visions. Mars Hill looks different from Redeemer, which looks different from Bethlehem, which looks different from Covenant Life. They all look a little different from your church. And that's okay! They are led by different men with different styles and visions. As long as the gospel is central, we should seek to embrace the community and passions of our local church (as far as they are in accordance with Scripture, of course). And these passions are primarily caught from the pulpit. If we are not listening, or are listening more attentively to Mark Driscoll (or insert other big name here), we will have a vision that differs from our own church, and it will be very difficult for our leaders to take us in the direction they believe God has for our church. Which leads me to...
4) It brings unity to the body
If in a local church, we are all listening to the same man (or men) each week, and seeking to understand and apply the messages, we will all be on the same path together, learning together, working together, envisioning the future together, passionate about the same things. This makes for a glorious unity of purpose within the local church, better enables each member of the body to do its part for the whole, and often gives the church a more active, visible presence in the broader community. (Ephesians 4:11-16)
5) Your pastor speaks Christ to you
You would not ignore Christ if He spoke to you face-to-face. You would certainly run home and try to get it down on paper, and return to your notes often, seeking to diligently apply all that he had said. Well, when God's Word is faithfully preached, Christ is there by his Spirit, speaking to you. If we would not ignore Christ in the flesh, we should not ignore Him when He speaks through His servants. And yes, they may err. They may not preach perfectly. But if your pastor is a godly, faithful man, when he addresses you with the Word, you'd best believe that Christ is there in the bulk of it. And if there is error, how will you know unless you spend time poring over the same texts, revisiting and meditating on your notes? (2 Corinthians 4:1-6, 5:18-20, Acts 17:11)
6)You need food more than once a year!
A conference is a feast: piles of messages by articulate, charismatic speakers--so many, in fact, that you often feel like you're about to burst before it's even over. But just like you still need to eat the day after Thanksgiving (or at least by the second day!), you can't live on a once-a-year spiritual feast either. You need a regular diet of God-glorifying, Gospel-centred truth from the Scriptures. It's great to have a little growth spurt after a sermon by Don Carson, but it won't keep you alive for very long if you don't make use of the regular food source at your own church. Enjoy the conference, learn from it! But don't starve yourself when it's over! (Hebrews 10:24-25)
Have I convinced you yet? Because I've convinced myself :) I think this Sunday will find me with pen and paper in hand, ready to listen, learn and apply.
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