Things Go Up and Down But God is Always Faithful

Oy vay! This has been a bit of a crazy weekend... not too long after I posted that things were really looking up at the new apartment, Nathan decided to head over and do a little more work... at which point we discovered that the keys were nowhere to be found. Now I NEVER lose keys. I have never lost a key in my life (not counting momentary misplacements). So the one time that some keys disappear on my watch, they are the keys to our new apartment, which we a) need to get in to work and b) don't want to have to call the new landlord about. We searched the whole house (Susanna has a habit of finding keys and moving them to odd places, like the bucket of cleaning supplies in the room she is not allowed to play in), we called the restaurant we had been at Friday night, we searched the car... no luck. So no work. And then on top of that, I noticed that one of my glands was a little swollen, which, among a million other possible diseases, happens to be a symptom for toxoplasmosis. Of course, the pregnant hypocondriac in me was immediately convinced that I had somehow contracted it. Nevermind that my research had informed me that the parasite can only live for a certain amount of time without a host, and the cat guy has been out of the apartment for more than 6 months. Nevermind that cats only shed the parasite in their feces for 2 weeks after they get it (so they would have to have happened to contract it right before he moved out). Nevermind that symptoms of toxoplasmosis don't appear until 2 or 3 weeks after exposure and it's only been one since I've been over there. I was certain I must have it. So I didn't sleep too well Saturday night, between the keys and the fear for my unborn child...

However, lest I begin to depress you, read on... Sunday morning, I read Psalm 23, and began to pray that God would grant me a green pasture to lie down in and rest from all my anxieties and frustrations. And then, encouraged by the promise that goodness and mercy follow the righteous all the days of their lives, I started to pray that God would grant me grace to rest in His sovereignty and promises of faithfulness even if worst came to worst and the landlord told us we couldn't move in because he no longer trusted us, or I really did have toxoplasmosis and our baby was the 1 in 10,000 who ended up severely deformed, or Susanna got really dehydrated and ended up in the hospital or dead, even if we lost everything, every hope and dream we'd ever had, God would still be our God and He would still be faithful and somehow working goodness and mercy in our lives through the suffering, and at the end of it all there is the hope of future glory that far outweighs any earthly pain or decay. And thanks be to God who lifted me up out of my pit and gave me a great sense of peace and a deeper trust in Him!

Thanks be also to the God who could have allowed any of the terrible things above to happen and instead showed us the mercy of a landlord (who is a Christian, by the way) who heard about our key predicament and offered to drive into town right away to give us a new set of keys so that we were able to get some good work done last night (we also now have 2 copies, so that shouldn't happen again)... who gave me the peace of the knowledge that the slightly swollen gland is actually much more likely caused by the painful gingivitis I've developed in the last week (admittedly a risk for preterm birth if left untreated for several months, but not anywhere near as serious... I just need to make a dentist appointment soon)... who has brought healing to Susanna so that aside from the crankiness of incoming molars, she is happy and eating again and not soiling 4 outfits a day anymore... and who has also allowed Nathan to come down with a touch of the flu today - oh, it never ends, but God is still faithful!

"All the paths of the LORD are steadfast love and faithfulness, for those who keep his covenant and his testimonies... My eyes are ever toward the LORD, for he will pluck my feet out of the net." (Psalm 25:10, 15)

Name Explanation

By the way, for future reference, when I mention "Tookie", that is Baby #2. We can't name the baby yet because it's still 3 months till we find out whether it's a boy or a girl, so rather than referring to "it", we've given him/her a generic name. In case you're wondering why we picked something so odd, Susanna got called Pookie in utero, for reasons I don't remember, and we didn't want to reuse that one, so we decided to name #2 in the manner that the Canadian $2 coin was named a few years ago (They did away with the one and two dollar bills a while ago... so in Canada, rather than having a fat wad of cash - which is really just $20 in $1 bills, you get to carry around 5 lbs of coinage that adds up to the same). See, the $1 coin is called a loonie (because it has a picture of a loon on one side), and maybe 7 or 8 years ago - I don't remember exactly - they introduced the $2 coin, and it needed a name. And the one that stuck was toonie (two + loonie). So Pookie became Tookie. I know, I know, we Canadians are a little odd, but hey, it does make perfect sense, eh?

Ultrasound

Man, I feel like I don't get on here very often anymore! I guess I used to do most of my blogging during Susanna's nap and after she goes to bed, but lately, those are the times when I most want to sleep myself.

So Friday, we had ultrasound #1. It was so cool to see our new little baby - (s)he was still too small to see any movement, but we did see the tiny heart beating in Baby's chest and heard it, too. That's the moment when it starts to really sink in that there's a real little life in there... I mean, once you get a positive test result, you know in your head that there's a baby inside, but I don't think you really realize it till you see and hear that little heart beating away. I kind of had a sense of deja vu, and it took a second for it to occur to me that this little human was not Susanna, but a completely new and unique individual! I don't see how anyone could look at that and still think there's no God!