I feel like the past couple months have been a season of God exposing various sins in my life, and it hasn't exactly been pleasant. If you've ever had such a season, you know what I mean. We don't like to have our sins exposed. Most of us would be quite thankful to stuff them in the dark back corner of a closet, never to be seen again (and preferably never to be pulled out in the first place). But as I've thought and prayed and meditated on God's Word in this season, I'm also learning to be thankful for sin exposed.
I'm thankful that God sees my sin. We often shudder at the thought of a God who knows all that we do, who sees into the dark back corner of that closet and brings to light what is hidden there. We like to think it would be better if He could just ignore it, or better yet, be completely oblivious to it. But the fact of the matter is that if God didn't see or care about our sin, we'd be stuck with it with no hope of escape. We can't deal with the sin in our lives or its ramifications. "We hope for light, and behold, darkness; and for brightness, but we walk in gloom. We all growl like bears; we moan and moan like doves; we hope for justice, but there is none; for salvation, but it is far from us..." (see Isaiah 59:9-15a)
BUT, the Lord saw it, and yes, it displeased him that there was no justice. And when he saw the sins of the world, ours included, he also saw that there was no man, and wondered that there was no one to intercede, and so his own arm brought him salvation, and he sent a redeemer to his people. (Isaiah 59:15b-20)
Because God is fully aware of our sin and the condemnation it brings, and because he has compassion, he has also provided a way of escape through his son, Jesus, who died to take the penalty for all the sins I'm aware of, and all the ones that are still hidden from my eyes.
I'm thankful that God makes me aware of my sin. I am, of course, also thankful that he does this little by little and not all at once, as that would likely totally destroy me. But if he were simply to deal with the penalty for my sin and never confront me with its existence in my life, I would have at least two problems. One: I would not ever be fully aware of my desperate need for salvation and the ongoing help of the Holy Spirit. It is at the times when I am most aware of my sinfulness that I am also most aware of the beauty of God's grace and mercy toward me at the Cross. I would rather see my sin for what it truly is than to live in a permanent state of apathy toward my salvation. And two: I would never change. Acknowledgement of sin is the first step in turning away from it. Where I am not aware of wrongdoing, I just keep on running over those same ruts, living life the same way and ignorantly persisting in sin. But even as I pray with the Psalmist that God would forgive my "hidden faults", it is good when I am aware of the sin in my life so that I can pray and work toward change. It is far better to grow in grace and become little by little more like my Saviour than to go through life in "peaceful" obliviousness to my hidden faults. So I also pray, "Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!" (Psalm 39:23, 24)
And I'm thankful that sin exposed and repented of is also removed from me as far as the east is from the west!
I don't enjoy having my sins paraded before me. There are days when the weight of my wrongs feels a little too crushing. But this is not a thing to despise. Just as in seasons of peace, these seasons of battle are God's care for his children, showing us that he is aware of our sin and has fully and finally dealt with it, and then making us abundantly grateful for our salvation and turning us bit by bit into the likeness of his perfectly sinless Son, all to his praise and glory. So I will rejoice in sins exposed, thank God for his kindness that leads to repentance, and by his grace turn around to walk in his ways, to the glory of his name.
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