Not a Speedbump

A few weeks back we got together for our weekly dinner with Darryl and Charlene Dash, and during the course of the evening, ended up doing an internet personality test for fun. When mine--not surprisingly--came back saying that I thrive on security and stability, Darryl jokingly asked what ever made me want to get involved in church planting. I didn't have a snappy comeback then (apparently, I'm not quick on my feet either). But as it happens, the very next morning our security and stability was tossed to the wind as we received news that we were going to need to move from our condo when the lease is up in April. While not totally a surprise (we had been warned of the possibility a week before), it was certainly not what I originally had in mind for this year. I confess that I had been looking forward to a year devoid of moves and surgeries (still hopeful on that front) and other large changes. A year of relative safety and stability. Hard work, of course, but nothing too unpredictable.

God had other plans.

As I was praying about the impending move, and our need to find suitable space quickly in a neighbourhood with very little suitable space, I was initially thinking of this unwelcome circumstance in terms of a speedbump on the road of our lives. I think we often think of trials that way. Here I am, gliding along peacefully, when BUMP! out of nowhere I hit a little rise and have to slow down. What an inconvenience! God, can't you see that I would get where I'm trying to go faster if I didn't have to keep adjusting for the bumps in the road?

But you know, the more I've prayed about this circumstance, asking God to do what only He can so that His works might be clearly seen, the more I'm realizing that these trials are only speedbumps if our highest goal in this life is our own comfort, our own feelings of stability and security, our ability to speed along without thought for the road conditions, our drive for independence and strength. If these are our greatest desires, then yes, any hiccup in our plans, any unforeseen pothole is not just a speedbump. Sometimes it is like driving straight into a wall. It can hurt. It's uncomfortable. It may be downright painful.

But what if we learn to see these "bumps" as a lift-off instead? What if we see them more as God's invitation for us to get out of the driver's seat and climb aboard His strong wings of never-failing mercies and unfainting power (Isaiah 40:27-31)? What if, rather than slowing us down in our work for God's glory in the world, they are actually grand opportunities for God's glory to be revealed in our weakness and inability? What if they slow down our pursuit of earthly comfort, security and stability, and in so doing, propel us into a steadfast reliance on the only One who is true comfort, security and stability? What if it is actually our comfort that is the true speedbump, and these seeming obstacles are God's kind way of startling us out of our sleepy coasting so that we might truly enjoy the wonder of His unsearchable wisdom, power and glorious building of His kingdom?

Now I don't deny the very present pain of some of these bumps. Just because we're not seeking our comfort above God's glory doesn't mean that loss ceases to be suffering or that our weeping suddenly ends. But it sure does make a difference in how we bear the pain and suffering. It makes a difference to our hope, to our joy, to our expectations.

I won't lie: I love comfort. My personality is naturally bent toward stability-craving. But if you ask me why, with my drive for security and predictability, I would ever consider such a seemingly unstable way of life as church planting, I think my response will go something like this: The longer I live on this earth, the more I realize that there is no security or stability to be found in merely carving out a comfortable life for myself where I am in control. I love to feel secure, but by God's grace, I am coming to understand that there are far greater things in this life than having everything turn out for my comfort. And while I have not arrived--even as I write this, I'm fighting to believe it--I am learning to see all the twists and turns, all the unexpected situations, the unstable income, the insecure housing, the letdowns and discouragements (along with all the joys) as glorious opportunities to rest on God's secure wings as He flies where He will and we cling for dear life, all the while having our eyes and hearts filled with the amazing view of His work that He has blessed us to participate in.

This is not a speedbump. It's a boarding pass.