It's been a season of some "invisibility" for me around here, and I'm feeling it. There have been events I wanted to be at, times I wanted to meet people and be a tangible part of our work here, and for one reason or another, I've ended up home alone with the kids while Nathan took part. Cold January nights alone have a way of making you question whether you're really as valuable to a ministry as those people who get to be the mouth-pieces, the leaders, the visible ones. And I know the sinfulness of my desire for human recognition and jealousy of those who are chosen to be on the visible front lines while I serve in the background, but that doesn't mean I don't still struggle with these feelings from time to time. So this week, I needed a reminder from myself... As our former pastor is fond of saying, "Don't forget in the darkness what you believed in the light." My post today is a letter I wrote years ago in a season of light to another ministry wife (somewhat adapted). It's written to a wife and mother, but these things really apply to any of the silent servants in the church.
Dear friend,
I think the desire to do something "noticeable" is a pretty common struggle for mothers, and is probably felt more in women whose husbands are in public ministry, because we see our husbands getting noticed all the time. While this is not a current struggle for me, it is certainly something I have struggled with in the past, and I'm sure will struggle with at times in the future [Ha! Here we are!], so the following words are as much a reminder and preparation for me as they are, hopefully, of help and encouragement to you.
1) Remember the Gospel!
Nothing you can or can't do is the final basis for your acceptance before the Father. Whether your tasks are mundane or exciting, whether you are commended by peers or not, whether you personally lead hundreds to Christ or only one or two... you are accepted and counted righteous by a Holy God fully and finally by the Cross and Christ's imputed righteousness. You are no less able than your husband or other "noticeable" church members to have a vibrant, passionate, faith-filled relationship with Christ, and your eternal destiny is the same as theirs. When God looks at us--moms in the nursery or famous church leaders--he sees Christ, he sees Christ's righteousness, he sees Christ's work filling all the gaps left in our imperfect service to Him. And the vocation he has called us to does not change that. Hallelujah!
Nothing you can or can't do is the final basis for your acceptance before the Father. Whether your tasks are mundane or exciting, whether you are commended by peers or not, whether you personally lead hundreds to Christ or only one or two... you are accepted and counted righteous by a Holy God fully and finally by the Cross and Christ's imputed righteousness. You are no less able than your husband or other "noticeable" church members to have a vibrant, passionate, faith-filled relationship with Christ, and your eternal destiny is the same as theirs. When God looks at us--moms in the nursery or famous church leaders--he sees Christ, he sees Christ's righteousness, he sees Christ's work filling all the gaps left in our imperfect service to Him. And the vocation he has called us to does not change that. Hallelujah!
2) Remember the reward!
"Beware of practicing your righteousness before other people in order to be seen by them, for then you will have no reward from your Father who is in heaven... Truly, I say to you, [those who do things to be seen] have received their reward... do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you... and your Father who sees in secret will reward you... and your Father who sees in secret will reward you... Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." (Matthew 6:1-4, 6, 18-21)
"Beware of practicing your righteousness before other people in order to be seen by them, for then you will have no reward from your Father who is in heaven... Truly, I say to you, [those who do things to be seen] have received their reward... do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you... and your Father who sees in secret will reward you... and your Father who sees in secret will reward you... Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." (Matthew 6:1-4, 6, 18-21)
I don't quote this passage as a rebuke, but because of the promise in it. Those who work to be noticed get their reward in this life when they are noticed. But if we work, give, pray, serve, speak as unto the Lord and for His glory alone, HE sees, and HE will reward us ETERNALLY. When I am tempted to desire the commendation of others, I need to remind myself that the approval of man is worth NOTHING AT ALL from an eternal standpoint, but if I faithfully serve as God has called me to, God sees, and He is storing up rewards and glory far beyond my imagination that I will enjoy for all of eternity! God sees you, dear mother! HE knows that you faithfully serve your family even when no one seems to care, and He is waiting to reward you for eternity! Let the sure promise of Scripture spur you on to prayer for more faithful, silent, behind-the-scenes humble work. For while you may not receive much earthly commendation, because God sees you through the blood of His Son, He commends you!
3) Recognize the importance!
Though it may feel invisible to you, your service as wife and mother is being powerfully used by God for the growth of His Kingdom. A good part of the reason that your husband has been able to use his gifts in visible ways in the service of the Kingdom, is that you are behind him, helping him, caring for his children and home, giving him encouragement and spiritual support, freeing him up to do the ministry God has called him to. It is not just "his work"... It is "your work". He could not do what he is doing, and would have considerably less joy in the tasks, if you were off doing your own thing, rather than quietly serving him and undergirding his work. The two of you are one, and his work is no less yours, even if he is noticed by men and you are not. Rejoice that the two of you as a unit have been gifted and called to this ministry!
Though it may feel invisible to you, your service as wife and mother is being powerfully used by God for the growth of His Kingdom. A good part of the reason that your husband has been able to use his gifts in visible ways in the service of the Kingdom, is that you are behind him, helping him, caring for his children and home, giving him encouragement and spiritual support, freeing him up to do the ministry God has called him to. It is not just "his work"... It is "your work". He could not do what he is doing, and would have considerably less joy in the tasks, if you were off doing your own thing, rather than quietly serving him and undergirding his work. The two of you are one, and his work is no less yours, even if he is noticed by men and you are not. Rejoice that the two of you as a unit have been gifted and called to this ministry!
4) Recognize the fruit!
You have also told me of your children's growth in character and understanding of the gospel. That is visible fruit of your faithful work as a mother! God may be doing the work, but He is using YOU! I know the kind of struggles you have had with your kids--we have had many of the same with ours. But because you have been freed from all kinds of work outside the home to serve your children, because you have toiled to apply the gospel to them, God is working in their life to change them! Dear sister, think of it that way: You have been FREED from the toil and busyness of visible service to quietly serve and instruct your children, and God is powerfully using you to lead them to Himself. What greater joy can a mother have than to see her own children growing in the grace of the Lord! What better fruit can she ask for!
You have also told me of your children's growth in character and understanding of the gospel. That is visible fruit of your faithful work as a mother! God may be doing the work, but He is using YOU! I know the kind of struggles you have had with your kids--we have had many of the same with ours. But because you have been freed from all kinds of work outside the home to serve your children, because you have toiled to apply the gospel to them, God is working in their life to change them! Dear sister, think of it that way: You have been FREED from the toil and busyness of visible service to quietly serve and instruct your children, and God is powerfully using you to lead them to Himself. What greater joy can a mother have than to see her own children growing in the grace of the Lord! What better fruit can she ask for!
So sister, I want you to be encouraged that your labour has not gone unseen, either by God himself or by others around you. Your work is vital; it is being rewarded on earth, and will be rewarded in greater ways in Heaven! Take courage, friend, and remember these words: "The sting of death is sin and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory [over death] through our Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labour is not in vain." (I Corinthians 15:56-58)
Dear mother who is home alone with the kids so her husband can serve people in the community...
Dear babysitter who watches kids for free so that a mother can attend church and community events, or so that a pastor and his wife can get a quiet night out for refreshment...
Dear quiet servants who bring flour for the communion bread or treats for the pastor's kids...
Dear people who set up chairs, take down chairs, mop the floor, clean mirrors, take out the trash, and lovingly grab a wandering toddler at the back of the church so that her mother doesn't have to get up...
Press on in your "invisible" service, knowing that you are justified by Christ's work, not yours, trusting that God sees the invisible things and will reward you with something of far greater worth than man's applause, encouraged that your work is vital to God's visible mission in this world (and don't we feel it when you're not around), and knowing that God does bring fruit out of your quiet labour!
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