If I had a dollar for every time someone commented on how easy it must be for introverts like me to obey the third chapter of James, I could buy a few books on public speaking. But while I wouldn't mind a little extra pocket change, I'd rather dispel the mistaken notion that just because we quiet people don't talk a whole lot, we've got excellent control of our tongues. No, I'm not prone to blabbing out some completely inconsiderate comment that might set a few trees (or a whole forest) on fire--though I can't say it's never happened. Yes, we are a type who tend to think before we speak, and our words do tend to be few, but if that is all James is calling us to, he wouldn't be able to say "If anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle his whole body". I'm pretty sure introverts still fall under the category of "anyone"!
What I will say is that it is definitely easier for introverts to fly under the radar on this one. We're far less likely to be accused of not reigning in our tongues (hence the dollar-worthy comments), but we're probably far less likely to be aware of our own lack of tongue control, too, which may well be more dangerous in the long run!
As I recently thought through this famous passage on controlling our speech, I was convicted of two different ways that I, in my quiet and thoughtful ways, have a tendency to lose control over my mouth (aside from the obvious occasional poorly-considered comment):
1) I am guilty of carefully measured tongue-lashing. Just because I like to think things through thoroughly before opening my mouth, it doesn't mean that I'm not capable of saying hurtful things. It just means that when I do say things to hurt, it's more likely that I'm really intending to cause harm! Being an introvert doesn't exempt me from anger, resentment, bitterness, jealousy, pride and a whole host of other inward sins that effect what we say. If I'm mad at someone, I may not immediately blast them with harsh words. But I just might think carefully about the perfect way to zing them... and then follow through. And in some ways, these words are more painful to the recipient, especially if they know me well enough to know that I'm not just speaking off the cuff. In his commentary on James, Alec Motyer makes the point well that ultimately, our ability to control our tongue doesn't start with our ability to refrain from speaking. It starts with a control over our thoughts and emotions. We don't want to kill sinful thoughts just before they overflow out of our mouths; we want them forgiven and dead the moment they enter our brain. And this is why both introverts and extroverts need to be regularly aware of, and praying over, even the fleeting thoughts that pass through our minds. We need to be taking every thought--not just every word--captive to obey Christ. And if this is what is required of us, then we don't just need some extra self-control. We need nothing less than the power of the Holy Spirit!
2) I am also guilty of saying too little. Controlling our tongues doesn't just mean we don't say things we shouldn't. As in all areas of our lives, we are just as responsible for what we omit. Far too often, I really should open my mouth and say something, and yet I don't. I can't count the number of times that an opportunity to witness, encourage, counsel or graciously rebuke someone has been presented to me, and I have chosen to remain silent. It grieves me to think of the many occasions when someone really needed a word of encouragement or wisdom or correction and--though I saw the opportunity and had something to offer--fear of man or the pride of wanting it to come out just right kept me from giving it to them. How many lost chances to share the gospel! How many lost moments to build up another! How many lost occasions for love and fellowship! And all because I did not control my tongue to get those words out! I may not regularly speak when I shouldn't, but there are definitely too many times that I am quiet when I shouldn't be. I am eternally grateful for the forgiveness offered to me through Jesus' death on the cross for the sake of my lack of tongue-control, because, despite my quiet tendencies, I'm just as much in need of that forgiveness as my louder brothers and sisters!
If you're an extrovert who struggles constantly with your ability to control your speech, please know that you are not alone. We silent folks may struggle differently, but we're sinners in the area of words just as much as you are. It's not easier; it just looks that way on the surface. If you're an introvert who skims over James 3 (and any other passage in the Bible on the use of the tongue) because you think it has little or nothing to do with you, please consider how your lack of words and even your well-considered words may be misguiding ships, setting fires and feeding poison to those around you. And for all of us, may we run with all the strength that God works in us by his Spirit toward the one who never said a harmful word and never failed to speak a good one, yet who died in our place for every word said and omitted, and who rose again to give us a new life with a controlled tongue for his praise and the building up of his people.
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