Understood

Our two-year-old is not the most articulate kid on the planet. She loves to chatter, but much of what she says is unintelligible to us. Over the last few months, though, we have begun to comprehend some key words and phrases, like "woh" (water or milk), "shee" (cheese), "beh" (bread), "cangy" (candy) and the all-important "banky" (her 2--yes, two--essential blankets). Today in the car, she asked for woh, and to her great delight, received a cup in exchange. One of the other kids then wanted to know why Ruth consistently responds to getting the thing she has asked for with squeals of joy. Well, it could just be the joy of getting something she wants. But I've noticed that she does this primarily when she has made a verbal request, and the level of joy doesn't necessarily correspond to whether it's a few sips of water or a big piece of candy. So this is what I told my son: Ruth has spent the last several months in the frustration of recognizing that while she knows exactly what she wants, she can't seem to articulate her desires in a manner that anyone understands. She repeats the same phrase over and over and just gets a blank stare... or 15 different things held up questioningly, none of which are the desired object. But now, at long last, she can say something and even if no one else computes, at least Mommy does. I think her reaction of joy is not so much of getting what she wants, but of finally being understood.

Don't we all love to be understood? We hate to feel inarticulate, unable to put thoughts to words, unable to communicate the desires and feelings of our hearts in a way that even our closest friends can fully grasp. We often mark the deep kinship of a spouse or friend by the way they get what we mean even when others don't, when they complete our sentences, when they get the look in our eyes before we even catch the meaning ourselves. We get angry when others misjudge our meaning and intention. We are greatly comforted by the encouragement of someone else who has "been there".

Indeed, the moment that I first began to really feel a bond with Nathan was after I had explained to him that due to frustrations in a recent relationship and the ensuing emotional turmoil, I needed to take things slow and not get involved too fast. The words that got me were these: "I know I can't completely understand what you're going through, but as much as I can understand, I do (and I'm not going anywhere)."

The comfort of being understood is one of the reasons that I love these verses:

"Then the LORD said, 'I have surely seen the affliction of my people who are in Egypt and have heard their cry because of their taskmasters. I know their sufferings, and I have come down to deliver them out of the hand of the Egyptians and to bring them up out of that land to a good and broad land, a land flowing with milk and honey...'" (Exodus 3:7-8)

"Therefore he had to be made like his brothers in every respect, so that he might become a merciful and faithful high priest in the service of God, to make propitiation for the sins of the people. For because he himself has suffered when tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted... For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need." (Hebrews 2:17-18, 4:15-16)

But what about when we feel that we don't have the words to draw near with any confidence, when we don't even fully understand what is on our hearts, or what we need?

"Likewise, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God." (Romans 8:26-27)

Sometimes we feel like the toddler who just can't get their message across. Sometimes we don't seem to be getting an answer when we've asked the same question 20 times, and we wonder if God is listening and comprehending. How joyful it should make us to realize that the Father gets every word, that Jesus can make sense of the babble of a human life, that the Spirit is translating our needs and desires even when we don't know what they are, so that we are fully understood by our God.

This Christmas, be delighted by the fact that the transcendent, almighty God has made such point of understanding the weak and lowly people he created that he has come down, lived the life we live, made a way for us to have a relationship with him through his death on the cross, and sent his Spirit to continually intercede for us when our words fail! We are understood.