How do people change? If you're at all like me, your default "biblical" answer probably sounds something like, "They need to recognize their sin, see that it's not what God wants for them, throw in a few earthly consequences or rewards for good measure, and then try really hard, with lots of prayer, and of course, reliance on the Spirit." Now you might not actually say it quite like that. But that's how we often practise it in real life. A typical lecture for the kid who just yelled nasty insults at her brother because he didn't want to play the game exactly how she wanted it: "Dear daughter, you are being very rude and angry with your brother. But don't you know that God wants you to be kind? And if you keep yelling at him like that, he'll never want to play with you again. You don't want that, do you? Now stop trying to take control, and remember, if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all!" Of course, maybe that only happens at my house. But I have a sneaking suspicion that I'm not the only one! And don't we lecture ourselves that way about our sin, as well? "I'm really envious of her nice house, and I know the Bible tells me that envy is sinful. And I don't want it to get in the way of my friendship with her. I really need to work on being content with what I have. Lord, make me content!" Have you ever noticed that this usually doesn't get you very far in your struggles with sin (or your kids' struggles with sin)?
Of all the messages at The Gospel Coalition conference, the one that impacted me the most was Elyse Fitzpatrick's workshop on "Counsel From the Cross". She was speaking about counseling ourselves and others primarily with the gospel--the life, death and resurrection of Jesus on our behalf--as the focal point, rather than counseling based primarily on a series of practical steps or pop psychology. If you're not sure what that looks like, I highly recommend you listen to the message when it's posted on the Gospel Coalition website--I'm not going to try to recap her entire one-hour talk in one blog post (thank me later!). Now I was already familiar with a more gospel-centred counseling approach, though the workshop was helpful in clarifying for me a little more of what that looks like. But the thing that stuck out to me the most from her talk was one little word: "because".
I've always been encouraged by the hope of 1 John 3:2,3: "Beloved, we are God's children now, and what we will be has not yet appeared; but we know that when he appears we shall be like him, because we shall see him as he is. And everyone who thus hopes in him purifies himself as he is pure."
What I'd always loved about it was the idea that we will be like Jesus when He appears. But until that conference session, I had never noticed the word "because" in that verse. WHY will we be like Jesus when he appears? BECAUSE we shall see Him as He is! I think I've always assumed that when we get to heaven, we won't sin because God will just miraculously wipe our sin away. And in a sense, that is true. But as Elyse Fitzpatrick explained, the means of our leaving sin forever behind will be seeing Jesus in all of His glory. When the veil is fully and finally removed and we see Him face to face in all of His splendour, His glory will so eclipse the paltry attractions of temporal things, and will make sin, by contrast, to appear as it really is--disgusting, vile, offensive, an afront to holiness--that we will never want those things again. We will be unable to sin, because we will see Him as He is, in all of His glory. And anyone who has that future hope, purifies himself as he beholds Christ's purity now in the pages of Scripture. The greatest means of true change is not making lists of our sins, observing what others are doing to walk in godliness, studying the law, or going into tempting situations with good intentions of avoiding sin (though these things can be helpful to a degree). The greatest means of true change is looking at the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ as it is revealed to us in the Bible. 2 Corinthians 3:18 says the same thing as 1 John 3:2, only in the present tense: "And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit." How are we transformed little by little, degree by degree, into His likeness? By beholding His glory!
We all struggle with sins of various kinds. But as we fight these sins, are we arming ourselves merely with a list of practical things we can do? Are we focused on ourselves, on how we're performing? Or are we poring over the Scriptures, seeking to see more of God, of His character, of His mercy to us in the cross, of His glory in all of this? Do we come to His word expecting to get some helpful hints for our lives, or do we come longing and expecting to see HIM? Are we praying, not just that we might live holier lives, but that He might reveal more of HIS holiness to us? And as we counsel our spouses, or children, or friends, are we just telling them what we would do, or are we holding up Christ and what He has done?
I realize that if you're in my small group, this is now the third time you've heard me say this in one week! And if you're not in my small group, but you are in my church, it's the second time. But it bears repeating, because I need it drilled into my head, and you probably do, too! It's not all about me; it's about Him. And so I need to daily remind myself to be beholding Christ, to be seeing more of Him, and less of me. I'm still working through all the implications of that for my parenting, for my friendships, and for my own walk with the Lord. My guess is that it will take me a lifetime. But I know that when He appears, I will be like Him, because I shall see Him as He is! So with that hope in mind, I want to spend the rest of my earthly life seeing as much of Him as I possibly can.
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