So anyway, I've been writing about limitations, and how we have so many and how frustrating they can be, but also about how encouraging it is that we have an unlimited God who cares for us, and a God who became limited in order to identify with our limitations and to save us. And so, of course, this past week I have been stretched to my limits. And to be perfectly honest, I haven't fared so well with them. When I'm tired to the verge of insanity and experiencing anxiety symptoms again after several months of relief, it's hard to maintain hope and peace and joy in Christ's work on my behalf and God's good care for me. When I'm struggling to find strength to complete basic housecleaning and dog-walking tasks along with the rest of my to-dos, I'll admit that it really is far easier and more "natural" to wish Nathan had two fully-functioning knees and could sweep or walk the dog or lug our suitcases up and down the stairs than to rejoice in the suffering (albeit light and momentary) that I've been granted. Tears have been cried, impatient words have been uttered, resentments have had to be repented for.
And in the midst of all this, I've often been reminded of the truth that was already going to be Part Three of this brief little series on limitations: we are limited, and it shows us our desperate need for God. I've been studying 2 Corinthians for the last several months, and this truth is stated over and over again in that book. Our limitations (and trials) are meant to drive us to God, who is the only one who can really accomplish what needs to be done anyway.
For we do not want you to be unaware, brothers, of the affliction we experienced in Asia. For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead.
For we are the aroma of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing, to one a fragrance from death to death, to the other a fragrance from life to life. Who is sufficient for these things?... Such is the confidence that we have through Christ toward God. Not that we are sufficient in ourselves to claim anything as coming from us, but our sufficiency is from God, who has made us sufficient to be ministers of a new covenant, not of the letter but of the Spirit. For the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life.
For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ. But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us.
So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.*
When I am confident in my ability to handle anything, to do everything, even to react with joy and grace when my limitations do show up, I am confident in myself, relying on myself, thinking the power belongs to me and giving myself the credit.
But when I reach my limits, and I mean really reach my limits, there is nothing left in ME to rely on. All I have left is God's limitless strength, sufficiency and power. But that's exactly where my reliance needs to be--even when I do seem to be puttering along just fine on my own. We have a God whose power is enough to raise the dead, whose sufficiency has no bounds, whose strength is infinite. And he invites us to rest our weak, powerless, insufficient selves in him.
It's been a week of being stretched to my limits. But if it forces me to put my trust outside of myself into the one place my trust really belongs--the power of my limitless Heavenly Father--then there's cause for joy and room for grace.
*(2 Corinthians 1:8,9; 2:15,16; 3:4-6; 4:6,7; 12:7-10)
